you were cute for a little while.

then you helped spark the largest fire we ever had ever

and i think on the last day of summer this hot girl made me pull my back.

im so old, america. sometimes i take the elevator up one flight of stairs.

i was walking with this dude the other day up the stairs and he was outta breath after three flights.

it was 10:30pm and this girl was playing with her hair and flipping the channels and she was all i really want a double double with cheese.

i was all, lets get some in n out then. and she was all, no i dont wanna put on my clothes, its too hot.

i could see her point because fine as she was, she shouldnt have to put on her clothes. she should just be allowed to spread joy everywhere she goes.

so i said i’ll get you a damn double double with cheese.

and i drove up the 101 cuz i was like maybe the universal city one isnt crowded. but i got close to sunset so i said ah the tourists are probably all flying home tonight.

so i tried that one and the line was 14 cars deep. but they had this dude taking your order even if you werent anywhere near the squawk box.

he had a menu on his clipboard and a wireless punch the order pad thingie on his deal. double double with cheese combo and a diet coke. TWO diet cokes. $8.50 bro said and went to the next car.

i sat there listening to AM radio and tried to figure out, if the guy in the front of the line ordered 13 cars ago, why isnt he just paying in window 1 and picking up in window 2 – whats the delay? theres always a delay?

so i tweeted it. but the line was moving too fast. right as i was gonna tweet i was about to pay. then as i was about to hit send i was getting my food.

i was the delay.

now our sheets have a little bit of grease on em.

of their children watching a video in school of the president?

i think it’s nice that the scariest thing in some peoples lives is a half white guy on a video tape telling their kids to stay in school and wash their hands.

thats what i think.

happy labor day

tony, pls help me with something…i was a fan of Danielle from san diegos blog, and i cant get into a busted pc where i once had her url in my faves.. pls let me know what that url is.. im dying of curiousity to see whats up with her..thank you in advance! -c

dear c,

danielle the incredible’s blog is at berkley.blogspot.com

go and leave comments and tell her how rad she is and how great her blog is, for she is and it is.

now go in peace

meh. after we had sushi at half price sushi and i dont know if everyone had a birthday yesterday or if they all come out and sing when you order this one dish. but seemed like ever five minutes they were gathering around a table and singing this super annoying song including a heavily utilized tambourine. the seared yellowtail made up for it.

megadeath is on direct tv. who knew bro was into pretty boys so much. his lead guitarist looks like a damn male model, bassist too. only other regular dude in there other than mustane is the chubby drummer, who has the cymbals hanging down from a cage set up. he works the double bass beautifully. george carlin said the reason the earth created humans was to make something nature couldnt make on its own: plastic. wouldnt it be funny if metal was created solely for the double bass.

steve lopez wanted to meet some Glenn Beck fans who live in LA. i dont think its technically LA, but he found some over by Six Flags. anyway its funny. i made a comments blog post for it so people could comment, thats pretty good too. ah, america.

today i think im going hiking with karisa although im nervous about breathing in this air. weve had this fire going on for a few thousand years now and the air seems better but they say you have to worry about these microscopic particles. good news is this map says that all seems to be well today. and its even nicer in the oc. bet theres some beck fans down there.

if youre like me, you watch tila tequila on her ustream deal from time to time. live video of a girl who likes to dance, talk black, and put on different outfits while she sings along to r&b. not exactly the type of person that youd wanna choke, but allegedly, thats what san diego charger star linebacker shawne merriman did. whats scary is i interviewed tila on the red carpet once and shes tiny. meanwhile merriman is a pro bowl linebacker. the most physically destructive people on the field. anyways whats interesting in this modern world is to see their twitter feeds (http://twitter.com/shawnemerriman and http://twitter.com/officialTila). did they really stop tweeting at that time? and what does it all mean? also, i wanna make a website called Allegedly.

there was a time when i wanted to be the manager of the chicago cubs. not just so that i could see the cubs win it all in my lifetime, but for cub fans everywhere. last month when we sat in the bleachers and dined on all u can eat before the fireworks, we ran past these dudes who had somehow imported some Old Style beer. which as you know is hard to do, being that it comes from God’s Country and all. they told me i could hold it but i told them id chug it so they shouldnt trust me. instead i took a picture. but these are the dudes id be manager of the cubs for. and those are the guys milton bradley should think about this offseason when hes counting his millions.

Gage: Where have all the good times gone? you can only eat 3 things for the rest of your life, what’s it gonna be? Worst high school job?

the good times have moved to the scarier places. apple juice, chicken breasts, Oreos

John Wayne Maioriello: What are your top 5 heatwave solutions that do not include air conditioning?

since i dont have air conditioning this is easy for me. currently im in a room with the window up, the door open, and a little osculating fan, and everyones topless.

bukowski liked to soak in the tub

mookie in do the right thing not only took a shower at the beginning of the day, but when he came home to make love to his baby momma he utilized ice cubes

when i was an ice cream man guy id put ice cubes in a rolled up shirt, slide it in sombrero, and drive around in just a sombrero, hawaiian styled shorts, and flip flops.

or you can just say eff it and sweat like a pig and see how sweaty you can get.

Matt Welch: Why is the L.A. Times now the slowest-to-load website on my computer, post-redesign? Spite?

Clearly East Coast bias blinds folk quickly else you’d had realized that you’re talking about the nation’s #1 fastest growing big newspaper website. almost every month we’re breaking one record or another. back in the days when you sat in your swanky office here the blogs, for example, were getting just 3 million page views, last month we were just shy of 20 million. thats just the blogs. then theres the photo galleries and the special projects, and the breaking news and add that with a beautiful redesign you’re gonna get what the hippies in berkeley call “hella” traffic. which slows down your journey to Angels Unplugged for your vlad fix. what can i say? steal better wifi.

zona: what are the odds?

of me going to my 75th high school reunion this month: no chance

of me going to my 90th grade school reunion this month across the street and a day before the high school reunion: sure thing

of me taking this young lady to see springsteen play born to run in its entirety in chicago: excellent

of her wearing that white bikini to the show: never know

of Da Bears beating the Steelers at Soldier Field a few hours before the Boss: i think the spread will be the world champs giving 20 points.

Jetson Stamina: Who would you rather have answer the 5 most important questions ever asked. Perry Farrel or Whitney Houston while on crack? Why? Also… should Minotaurs where pants?

it’s interesting that this will be just the first of two questions this week concerning Mr. Farrel, and for that reason alone we should exclude Whitney from this competition. also, perry has aged beautifully, if not suspiciously. whereas Whitney has tragically fallen from super sweet “how will i know” to druggie diva “hell-to-the-no”. and although the trainwreck is usually more spectacular, in this case the wild genius is far more entertaining. only the girl minotaurs should wear pants.

CNN: Any comment on this breaking news?

saddest thing ever. she was our worst kept secret. my best boss ever. the main reason why we’ve been so successful so quickly and in such an honorable way. she exudes class and has the most calming spirit. meredith launched nytimes.com, then went to the internation herald tribune to do it en francais just to show off. then she came here and bingo heres a perfectly strong web site, with lots of great blogs, lots of great special bonuses, and now with a brand spanking new gorgeous design – and shes out. like a house flipper except she didnt double the price of the thing. its still free, just better because of her. i feel like the red sox just traded babe ruth to the yankees. but i guess its good for cnn, cuz now they’ll finally be on the map.

Alyson: Best food to pair with movies, video games and alcohol that ISN’T pizza?

this is an excellent dilemma because you cant have anything too messy because it will gunk up the controllers unless youre playing wii. but even still, it sounds like you might be moving around some, so you dont want anything too complicated that could either spill or get knocked over in a messy way.

so id say sushi, like the kind gage eats.

timmay!!!!!: were you at this show? how about this one? how many of you people are rubbing your crotches against the barricades?

i was at the Jane’s Addiction show because Nothings Shocking had come out and as you know it was the jam. Janes played 10 sold out shows in a row in LA and i couldnt believe that they were going to play our football stadium for free. i remember how mtv was there and they were trying to take a little ownership of the thing, but it was far too raw and punk rock and perry was swearing and being crude and the kids were throwing things and he was just so great attacking them with cutting jabs and… Janes Addiction. i did not see the Lips because i dont think i had moved up there till late 95 or 96.

g/d: wonder who what where when why? wow.

i do which is why i always wanted to work for a newspaper as it answers all those questions every day.

xtx: Where is my elephant story mothereffer?

it takes a long time to push out a baby elephant. but i think the water broke. yes IT HAS!!!

jackassjimmy: When suffering with fear and adversity, one should?

realize that some people pay a lot of money to feel the way youre feeling. either they buy expensive drugs, or date expensive women, or get themselves involved in situations they shouldnt be in to. if that doesnt make you feel superior and mellower, remember that this is the time that spirituality is yr friend. pray to whatever spaghetti monster your believe in and see if this trying time can actually be the impetus behind some spiritual growth. as the pegged legged old lady once cackled “tis hard to bake bread in a cold oven”.

leave yr question at the beep and watch as the stars align beautifully in yr life

From: Fun’s fancy management company in Hollywood
To: Dumbass Pierce
Subject: I know…

I know this is SUPER last minute, but we are having a party here tonight at our loft and they [fun] are playing. food, drinks – I think I even saw jello shots. Let me know if you want to come! I can even set up an interview with them if you want.

Thats sweet. I guess i have written about them a few times…

http://laist.com/2007/07/02/the_format_cont.php

http://laist.com/2006/12/20/nate_reuss_from_the_formats_top_ten_cds_of_2006.php

http://laist.com/2006/11/30/interview_time_with_nate_of_the_format.php

http://laist.com/2007/02/02/laist_editors_top_25_best_cds_of_2006.php

turns out Fun is hot!

Fun debuts in the Top 200:

AIM AND IGNITE (Nettwerk), the debut album from Nate Ruess (The Format), Andrew Dost (Anathallo) and Jack Antonoff (Steel Train)—who are fun., breaks onto the Billboard Top 200 today at #71 with over 8,000 albums sold in its first week. AIM AND IGNITE also earns the #3 spot on the Internet Album Chart, #20 spot on the Alternative Album Chart, and #24 spot on the Top Digital Album Chart. Additionally, the album debuted at #46 on the CMJ Top 200.

why is it great news?

because its so nice to see creative, uplifting music get rewarded with a modicum of popularity.

their show the other night at Spaceland had the kids waiting around the block to get in. once in, people were singing to every song – EVEN THOUGH THE CD WAS JUST 6 DAYS OLD!

it was so so so nice.