so i sit down after a morning full of meetings and my phone rings.

screen says “Dog, Tom”

i answer “please tell me youre calling me from Wrigley Field”

tomdog affirms my fondest wish. we exchange pleasantries. he tells me he will be drinking some Old Style in my honor, but tells me he wants me to know that he and Timmmmmaaaaayyyyy are thinking of me.

awwww

no longer than 1 minute later i get a text from my dear mother.

LOOKS LIKE THE ENTIRE FAM IS ALSO AT THE FRIENDLY CONFINES

WITHOUT ME!

AHHHHHHHHHRRRGGGGGG

looks like i will have to make a north side appearance before the season’s out so that the cubs wont forget who really loves em

ps my neice looks drunk