Monthly Archives: May 2019

dear posterity

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because nothing in here is true, it’s tough, sometimes, when looking back through this blog to figure out *exactly* what is going on in my life.

so i will tell you that i am in excellent health, knock wood,

i have a lovely girlfriend who lives with me and my two cats, Prince & Michael, here in East Hollywood

i am surrounded by amazing friends, most of whom i have known from college or the various jobs ive had

i am currently unemployed living on savings (always save for a rainy day, Cub fans)

even though i have been super qualified for several jobs ive applied for, for some reason they haven’t made it past the first interview phase.

i have two or three good possibilities out there. it’s gonna happen.  I should just clean my apartment and enjoy this time off but to be honest i am a bit worried, in part, because i couldn’t have been more perfect for some of these gigs.

i have a friend who wrote me the other day to tell me that agism is real and he is feeling it too. but i dont believe thats the case for me. i have an amazing track record. the companies i work for almost always do well when im there. hell even the giants went to the playoffs the year i sold beer there.

i truly believe that Hearts have been Hardened so that i would be available for the Perfect next gig, and this waiting game was so i would appreciate that job even more than i would have normally appreciated it.

anyways posterity, right now there is this thing called Movie Pass that lets you go to the theater every day and see a movie for just $10 a month. most theaters participate in it. so today i saw the Aretha Franklin doc “Amazing Grace” at the NoHo 7.

by 1972, aretha had nearly a dozen huge hits under her belt and even though she was raised by a famous detroit pastor and learned to sing in the church, she hadn’t recorded a gospel album since her debut when she was 14.

she flew to Watts and knocked out Amazing Grace over two nights in what was a small movie theater that had recently been converted to a Baptist church. Sidney Pollock, a decade before he directed “Tootsie” was roaming around with a camera, two of the Rolling Stones were lurking in the back row (and eventually made their way up front) but all eyes were on the 29 year old Lady Soul.

she was backed by three rows of gospel singers, a rhythm section, including a dude on congas, and her dad’s former musical director on piano.

the story on how the film finally got released is epic on its own. apparently Pollock made a rookie mistake by not using the clapper between songs so they could sync the cameras with the audio, so the unedited footage sat and sat in the Warner Bros vaults until this dude mortgaged his house to buy the reels so he could edit them.

once he did, Aretha fought him for 8 years to keep it from being seen.

which is bizarre because when the double record was released in ’72, it was a smash hit. not just Aretha’s biggest album in her career, but the best selling gospel record of all time.

why didn’t she want the movie out there?

all these critics today are falling over themselves about how it’s one of the greatest music docs of all time. but they’re not being honest. it’s historic, no doubt. it’s a fine document of two nights in South Central LA when a legendary artist sang so well that her mentor had to sit down and cry in the middle of the title track.

but it doesn’t tell the story.

we don’t learn why she chose to leave her beloved Detroit to come to the New Temple Missionary Baptist Church for this record. why are the Stones there? where’s Keef? why are there so many empty seats? why does Aretha barely talk? who are these musicians? why these songs?

something tells me the doc about the doc would be way more interesting, but seeing how tough it was to just release this, i doubt The Making Of would come around any time soon.

i love music documentaries more than any other genre. you should have seen the smile on my face when it began. but halfway through i was struggling to stay awake. it was beautiful music but nothing was happening visually. i was bored – which is hard to do with such inspirational music.

i gave it a B but listened to the record all night.

amber and i took a long walk.

shes a good girl.

im lucky.

 

can you get extraordinary results from ordinary people?

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i have seen a lot of things in my day, but one thing i have never seen is a typical person produce atypical results

whether i was a the big news paper or a little blog that became big,

the ones who created the biggest splash were the ones who were willing to leap from the tallest high dives

and twist and turn and tumble and tuck and then

spread wide open as the earth and sea sped up to them

and then braced for impact.

they were also the ones who got out of the pool, watched what they had done

repeatedly

climbed up that giant ladder

step by step by step by step

and did it again and again and again constantly learning.

to me it’s the only way.

to me you can’t pay attention to the russian judge.

to me you can’t acknowledge that the water is cold or that youre getting old

to me you can’t blame your speedo or the wind or gravity or anything

you say how can

i

make magic right here and right now

how can

i

make possible the impossible, like i did then and then and then.

and that is not ordinary.

ordinary might keep you on the team but theres a percentage of us who are all

when the handshakes after the game happen, i wanna be one of them who the other side is all

dude, that was incredible.

i remember being in little league, thats how much this guy impressed me.

i was the only black kid in the league and he was the only japanese guy.

his name was kenji, i’ll never forget. we were like 9, maybe 10.

he was the star of his team, i was the star of mine.

and after i said, how do you say you fucking rule in japanese?

he didn’t know english very well.

he just smiled and bowed.

and said kenji.

which now that i write this down i think maybe

he did know english

perfectly.

what do you do what do you do what do you

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do when all the paths are there for you

take the shiny take the true take the crazy take the new

which is the one where is the fun

and how will you know which one

she lives in a rainbow on a daydream through the edges of a myth

sings like a blue jay on a sunday who just had her first kiss

nobody knows the troubles she’s seen

nobody knows her real name

few have witnessed the light in her eyes

like a sunbeam through the soft rain

so what do you do when the brown turns to blue

and the ivy switches to green

roll the dice say yr prayers fingers crossed

and hope your spirit is clean

shout out to amber, our personal superstar

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amber american apparel socks

two years ago she was working at an easily forgettable hotel off ventura blvd.

she was their front desk agent of the month one month.

one day she texted me and said, i love these people but i gotta get out of here.

and shared with me stories of one valley drama after another.

i told her, the waldorff just opened in beverly hills, im sure theyd love all the skills you’ve learned there and elsewhere.

she was all, LOL, doubt it, they’re really fancy, but ok i’ll try.

and boom she was hired as a personal concierge.

first they put her on the grueling overnight shift. she shined. helped some famous people that are household names, who loved her. and then they placed her in the early morning shift.

some days she stood at the front door for hours opening it and saying hi hi hi hi, other days she was on the phones, sometimes she was the bellperson carrying people’s bags, and some days she was rocking it at the front desk.

she won best on her team a few months ago, in part because she signs people up for their rewards card, effortlessly upgrades people who want bigger and better, and is beloved by everyone from the housekeepers to the valets

if you look on trip advisor the guests leave sweet comments about her.

and when they return to the hotel they’ve been known to hug her

she truly is that nice.

but personal concierge isn’t lobby concierge, and that’s really where she shines because

not long ago she was a lobby concierge at a different fancy hotel by the beach

where she was the best at advising travelers and tourists and honeymooners and everyone

about where to eat and what to do. helicopter tours? trips to catalina? nobu?

she’s a native los angeleno which means she’s not just knowledgeable but more than helpful.

so the other day she noticed that a different fancy hotel was looking for a lobby concierge

 

amber lobster kanpai

and that hotel has a bunch of the top rated concierges in town.

you can tell because when you’re awesome they give you this tough-to-get pin,

The call it is getting your keys.

 

if you saw the great Wes Anderson film, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” they spoke of

a Society of Crossed Keys, a secret, international collection of world class concierges

who can book you a table at the toughest restaurant,

get you tickets to the most sold out show,

or perform impossible feats of service from behind a podium at the highest quality hotels around the world.

in reality there truly is an international group of concierges who actually do attempt to meet every need they are asked

and they too have a crossed key pin

and the next hotel that amber will be working at has about 5-6 members of that club as concierges,

who, i am certain, will take her under their wing and teach them their tricks

and she will share with them all the secrets she knows.

like, for example, where to get the best ramen they’ve ever had the pleasure of known – just 10 minutes from LAX.

oh did i bury the lede? amber applied and was accepted and starts at the new place soon.

it has been amazing to watch her rise up the ladder and literally have her dreams come true.

when we first started dating this is all she talked about

and here it is.

reach for the stars dear friends, they want to hug you!

there’s few things as satisfying as curing your own hiccups

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sometimes the computer needs to have its cache cleared, maybe followed by a restart

who am i to think im any different.

i wanna go to palm springs this weekend with amber before it gets too hot

and just lay by the pool for a few days

but shes got this thing and that thing

one involving a baby shower.

can you imagine what sort of magician i would have to be to wrest a woman away from her best friend’s baby shower?

so maybe next week.

even though the entire idea is ridiculous.

but what isnt ridiculous. i paid $3 extra to order thai food via the computer the other day, so i wouldnt have to pick up the phone and try to make it happen with a dude yelling on his end from a loudly busy restaurant.

its all ridiculous. magnets, how do they work.

only reason i have cats is because bukowski liked cats. not that i went out to get any, mind you, they were literally thrust upon my doorstep. but i am glad i have them even though they have figured out how to wake me up every morning for food

the boy cat, prince, is chubby. my bad. i love him. he’s aggressive and always following me around like a roving reporter. he wants to witness my every move. the girl, michael, likes her beauty sleep. prince has things to watch.

when i go out to get the paper in the morning he jumps from the couch and follows me to the door, just barely sticking his face over the threshold, sniffing at the welcome mat, squinting in the sun.

michael will wake up long enough to lick herself, reposition, and dive back into dreamland.

i think bukowski would have liked these two very very much.