someone unexpected

a bro

but in a very heartfelt, sweet way

on a borderline, hey, you know we’re all gonna die, prob sooner than we think so

just know i love you and youre my bro

but without that character count.

do i have a good life? yes.

are my cats trying to ruin my life by pooping on the floor

FOR A SECOND DAY

and ruining my beauty sleep?

yes, but i should probably stop going to bed at 6am.

true, but my sleep schedule shouldnt revolve around two cats that were strays that appeared on my door as kittens

delicious kittens any mountain lion would have eaten like a twinkie

and then pooped out

not on my floor

not beside the window

not on my cubs blanket on my couch

but in a place the mountain lion knew was the right place to poop.

also talked to a beautiful woman for an hour about some fascinating things

including someone she knows very well i adore from afar

and someone i know ok who she adores from afar

this planet is tiny

dont poop in the wrong places

even though the cats were scratching like mad and meowing

i slept till 1pm

did a tour of the living room and Prince had pooped IN a box so i put him in his carrier

made him stare at it

and fed his sister and he had to watch her eat the entire can

then i made him wait another hour

do i think he got the message?

so hard to say.

the disrespect really is something tho

pretty sure its the boy cat

what i do is put him in his pet carrier which he usually hates, but every time i punish him in there he never says a word bc he knows hes guilty

and i set it right next to his poop

FOR TWO HOURS

yesterday i then fed his sister right in front of him so he had to watch her eat and entire can of wet food

his two favorite things are eating

and stopping his sister from eating

so he had to just watch

i’ll let you know if this gave him the message.

i cheaped out on the first one, wasted $400 i dont have on the first robot i saw. it leaked pee. it was finicky about when it wanted to work.

i ended up putting an old mattress cover under it to soak up the pee as i waited for an actual robot to arrive at an even steeper price.

but hooking that thing up today. man. this is how it should be!

the cats will prob pee *around* it before going all in, but thats why i have this amazing spin mop

the other great thing i bought this year.

But some things will never go back to normal.

I never cry.

When I do it’s in short spurts. And usually i can control it.

The other night on Hollywood Blvd i was out of my mind. I probably shouldn’t a even been driving. Instinctively i knew that which is why i was not on the 101 but i got off on highland and drove slowly, hoping for stop lights.

At one i truly burst in tears.

Was it because i loved a cat?

Etienne used to try to insult me by mocking how much i loved my old girlfriends, even the ones who didn’t deserve it.

But a cat?

For years Prince was my favorite. Michael was standoffish and extremely cat like. Prince is like a dog.

Why would I be crying over Michael, who only recently has warmed up to me and strangers?

After thinking about this for days it’s because I feel since they live in this extremely safe, contained, small apartment, the only thing that could give them harm

Is me.

Either in what i feed them or drop and they accidentally eat, or not monitor them the brief times they’re outside, or by not getting them checkups on time

Or putting the wrong flea drops on them or somehow contracting fleas

Whatever it is, i am to blame if something goes wrong with them because they’re just innocent animals pretty much confined to the living room of

My apartment.

But it wasn’t shame. I was literally sad. For her.

Like it or not, for 7 years I’ve seen these cats pretty much every day.

I take care of everything that goes in and out of them.

Even during my most busy and trying times I make sure to spend a little quality time with them every day. Both of them. Separately and together.

I used to ask Amber, did you play with the cats today? Because two people have gotta be twice as good.

When I was young I remember accidentally watching some science thing about kids and how kids who aren’t touched or loved or told they’re good end up so fucked up. Stunted growth. All these bad things. So i just figured cats have got to be the same way.

And even dying in the Pet Hospital the nurses all said how friendly Michael was and playful and headbutting them.

She puts her paw up and touches your calf, as to say, pardon, can you pick me up, giant person?

I take credit for that because I’m sorry you do nothing all day, that nothing may as well be loving.

I held Prince extra close that night because of the two, he seems to be the one who eats more questionable things, how has he survived my messy bachelor pad?

Cut him open and it’ll be like a great white shark i bet. Marbles, baseball cards, a flip flop.

Yesterday i got her out of the hospital. Been feeding her though a tube. She looks at the wall, maybe stunned that she’s alive.

But probably just embarrassed that she has a neck brace on, basically, and a tube hanging out of her body.

Image is everything for that chick.

is there anything you can do?

ambers been watching all these shows talking about the cornyvirus and its freaking her out

so this morning bright and early we got up and went shopping for supplies.

and let me tell you, trader joes was packed. i asked the cashier if it was always like this at that hour and she said nope.

we got all sorts of water, tp, and all this stuff that put her mind at ease. and then we went to whole foods 365 which is like if whole foods took it down a notch and chilled out with the bullshit.

she got more stuff there and it didnt rain too much today so we were able to get things done.

and best of all i nearly finished my piece im writing about a radio reporter.

it’s loooooonnnnng.

but very good. im very happy, for once in my life. happy about something im writing.

usually im all, ok thats a funny line, or this tells the story leave me alone

but rarely am i like, you might be good today.

so its 3am. i should just finish but im so tired.

my cats are so funny. i try to keep them out of my room. also, they dont like their nails being trimmed.

so now any time they come in here i trim a nail or try to. and they run off.

but they never learn. they keep coming back. they got the whole house whats so great about this one little corner?

and now prince is asleep, one foot inside the room.

i have this problem sometimes when i forget that she is fighting the good fight and i need to turn it down a notch.

i can be a little over the top.

so i said, if i can be super chill for the whole day then i will circle the date on the calendar.

today was the first day ive earned a circle.

we went to the movies, saw Bombshell, it was ok.

before that, In N Out. we went to Ashley Furniture who had great financing plans, zero per cent interest, 35% off, all these things.

but the prices of the furniture was soooo high.

i met a guy the other day whose uncle makes custom beds. he offered a bed with padding and faux diamonds on the headboard, plus mattress and box spring for $650. old ashley furniture wanted $2k.

amber took one look at the joint and skeeved out. she didnt even want to play around on it. she was all, this is crazy. so we drove to the top of the parking garage, ate our lunch looking at the glendale mountains, listening to the radio, watching the rain clouds come

and now it’s nighttime, and the rain is here. it sounds so good.

i just finished most of my work transcribing my interviews about MLK

shes watching You

it’s filmed all around here.

i have so much work to do in these next few days

my neighbor threw out her cat playset.

she got two.

i rescued it.

now my cats are so happy.