Monthly Archives: March 2022

a woman who worked at a russian news station protested today

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she held up a sign during the nightly news that said

“Stop the war. Don’t believe the propaganda. They’re lying to you.”

her name is Marina Ovsyannikova and i am in love with her.

i wish to marry her please.

i appreciate brave people who are not afraid to tell others the truth

Marina Ovsyannikova might actually be afraid for all i know

and she did it anyways.

Lord knows what the Russian police did to her, are doing to her, will do to her

because that news was the best way for Putin inc to spread their lies about how they weren’t invading Ukraine, that they were “denazifying” it.

the people in russia know, for the most part that Putin is lying to them

but from people i am seeing on YouTube, some dont

hell some in the USA still think Biden stole the election from their lord and savior DJT

people are weird, what can you do?

our brains are powerful and they wanna protect us from Death

so if it feels like it’s gotta tell fairy tales to cope with trauma,

then The Big Lie will emerge.

me, i just wanna marry Marina Ovsyannikova and teller every day that her bravery is inspriationional

that, to me, courage is the most admirable trait humans have

because its telling that omg omg brain part

‘imma let you finish but right now i gotta do the Right Thing.’

miss canada just texted me

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“doing anything tomorrow”?

Miss Canada! yes, i am so busy you wouldnt even believe it.

“guess you dont wanna hang out with me and the second runner up?”

arent you in Austin or Miami Beach or Vegas?

“we got crazy and decided to come to LA for the weekend.”

suddenly im free. but please tell me the airline misplaced that. terrible yankee cap

“you should be so lucky.”

have i told you theres a war going on?

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i dont know how they’re doing it but the ukrainans are putting up a super good fight

and the best things that have happened is any time they capture a russian tank shoot down a tank

some dude in a John Deere tractor drives the thing to whereever

and everyone takes pictures.

fucking classic.

and if you ask me, great photo op for John Deere.

i had a fantastic conversation with an artist named Dalila

she told me so many things including how her mom and grandma reacted when she Came Out

(not well)

you think youve had some struggles in your life, and you have, but then you hear what other people have gone through

and how the closest people in their lives freaked out over it

and did the opposite of what you thought theyd do

and it makes you be so grateful for your life.

i am grateful for mine

and im especially grateful i get to do what i am doing now

and the ppl in my life support me

and all will be even better very soon.

nearly 20 years ago i wrote a very mean post

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it was about bob costas of all people

i was shocked at how easily spite and hate eased out of me

it kept flowing

it was scary.

was there that much evil inside me?

and how was it married to so much creativity?

for the last 20 years ive done my best to be creative in the name of good

to tune into the radio station of the angels and saints

even if it isn’t as lively and funny and harsh.

sometimes its enough to know you could ball up your fist

so to speak

and take care of business.

you don’t have to show it off.

you dont have to do it for sport or for street cred.

only cred i want is with the man upstairs.

only applause i wanna hear is from the saved.

only muse i want in my ear

isnt fuled off fear.

got some work done, but not enough

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i have blockage.

i know it will clear up soon.

had a good talk with my brother. that wasn’t blocked.

i stare at this laptop so much my eyes and my head get sick.

for years i did a good job focusing on good, but i think im blocked and sick and stuck because im focusing on problems

not solutions.

tomorrow i have a good interview set up.

i did my research. i have a few good questions. i have an angle.

i dont usually like any of those. i like things to be natural, organic, gluten free.

but i want to try something different tomorrow.

i really wanna take the bus there even though it would be an hour each way.

but i dont wanna risk being late.

i guess i could always hop off and take an uber if things run behind.

but i need to get back home quick

so i can struggle

i will get out of this hole.

i always do.

this has been a long, deep one though.

with unexpected foes.

damn am i happy with how eagle rock is turning out

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the first one was joe armstrong, great guy, so smart, so well spoken

and he turned me on to a woman who is a friend of his girlfriend

and she was so great too but different because unlike joe who grew up in IL

rebecca grew up in Eagle Rock and had all these amazing stories about taking the bus east to Pasadena to volunteer at KROQ in the early 1980s

and then at night take the bus west to Hollywood and Santa Monica

TO DANCE AT THE SAME DAMN CLUBS I WAS DANCING IN.

even though im trying not to be as obsessed with the blog posts at hearinLA.com

because theyre slowing my roll, she talked about all these great pics she had

and she sent me like 9-10 that were fine, but nothing popped

today as we were texting i said now or never do you have any more

and she said i have one where im making out with the singer of INXS

i was all michael hutchence? what? prob one of the sexiest singers of that era

who tragically died young

i said, you dont wanna humble brag?

and she said yeah where is it.

she found it and it was the one above which was soooooo goooooood

i was all yes thats it omg omg

i still cant believe how good it was and our convo and how eagle rock is falling in place.

i was on Twitter allllll day and while talking about movies, the last video store left in LA

vidiots, who is moving to eagle rock, liked something i wrote about film preservation

so i DMed them and said PLEASE BE ON HEAR IN LA AS I AM WRAPPING UP EAGLE ROCK

and they said hows about thursday

so yes it sucks that my pay is being delayed because that is whats supposed to keep me afloat as i do this podcast

but thank the stars above for hooking me up with all these great guests

because thats really what matters right now

the money will come

and every month that MF doesn’t pay me i make another $1k or more in late fees and interest

which is more than what id be making if i was Ubering ppl around LA right now once you deduct gas

had an old pal from chicago email me

said, when you’re ready for that fool to pay, get back at me.

heres a secret: there are some great restaurants in hollywood

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i dont know why ali and i would call Jitlada

Breakup Thai

but i think at some point we realized it was so good that even if we broke up with someone, they wouldn’t mind because the food was delicious.

mark johnson and his wife were in town and they invited os and i to break some bread with them

plus i owed him some cash that i thought id have by now – and dont –

and paid him anyways because im no rat.

and it was so incredible this food

we asked for a medium sized three flavored fish and they gave us a large because theyre lovely people too

Jazz came out and introduced herself to everyone

i told her she was so good in the jenn harris video right around the time her dear brother died

she said jenn was with her that whole time

jenn is a food writer of the la times and her mentor jonathan gold loved jitlada

i mean breakup thai too.

so much

afterwards we had drinks at Ye Rustic like in olden times

super beautiful waitress served me double baileys

os ordered cheescake

i asked the waitress where she was from and she said

schaumburg, illinois

i said lets make out at woodfield

she said meet you in front of the Claires

 

they say when bill murray hops behind bars

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as he sometimes does to the joy of everyone there

he will make screwdrivers no matter what the people order

and they will laugh and drink their screwdrivers and tell all their friends

i want to be like that.

i want to be so lovable and quietly funny that everythings a joke and light hearted

and loving and beautiful and when i die everyone will have a sweet story about me.

and sure, theres not so sweet stories about bill murray too.

like how he behaved on groundhog day.

but that shows that hes human. and if we accept his flaws and forgive them

maybe we should forget and forgive the flaws of others.

for example today i might be getting a check for a lot of money

or i might be getting what i have had for the last three months: nothing.

and i cannot believe i am finding myself in this position Again.

early last year a guy stiffed me for payment of my services

and then his buddy promised to settle up

and neither happened.

then at the end of the year a totally different guy decided to rob me of my earnings.

who am i presenting myself as being to the world that they think they can just do this to me?

i hate hate hate coming across as a victim, but sometimes we are victimized.

in both cases i dont see how i did anything wrong.

and yet here we are.

these people know i can sometimes become a powerful writer

and they know we have many mutual friends.

surely they know all i have to do is tell the story and no one will trust either of them ever again.

but they probably also know that

i don’t want to use my super powers for vengeance or for destroying people

or ruining friendships

i just want to pay my rent.

so i was watching the new batman tonight and just like in all the other batmans

he’s torn between beating the crap out of people

and showing mercy

it’s one of the more human traits of this very human super hero.

and this batman is sooooo emo its actually funny.

anyways i could relate.

i was not put on this earth to fuck shit up.

especially at my age.

maybe i was a ‘disruptor’ in theory when i was younger

but even when i was at the paper, i tried to show them that they too could use their well honed skills to beat the young bucks online.

and they wouldn’t have to do anything unethical.

some of them took me up on it and soared.

others watched.

i did enough watching as a teen.

which brings us back to what do i do?

in the new batman in the very first scene theres a great tune off nevermind

it fits so perfectly into the movie.

because im a million years old i was lucky enough to see nirvana at the forum,

when kurdt was at his most vulnerable he sat on a stool and played a few tunes on acoustic guitar.

he was wasted. but still the spirit was with him.

halfway through the first song someone threw a shoe at him.

which is equal parts rude and punk rock 101. but since it was the Forum i’d call it rude.

kurdt just let it soar over him.

he didnt acknowledge it.

the show went on.

i think in a lot of ways the best people don’t continue the cycle of hurt.

the buck stops with them.

and even though i really, truly, need all of this money thats owed to me

and even though i think these people really want me to give them back the energy that they know they deserve.

maybe the worst thing i could do is

cobain that shit and keep strumming my

dark

fucking

hippie

love songs

of death.

tunes they could never write in a million years.