i was chatting with a young woman

on the facebook chat interface

and i told her that i wanted to go to her part of the united states and taker on a date, and end up at a bar where we could watch the cubs, and that i would put my hand on her knee and hope that one thing led to another.

and she said, you wouldnt wanna do that tony. she said, one hour in your life in hollywood is probably more interesting than a week here in bf idaho.

she said i see yr pictures.

i said dont be fooled. sure you might see me eating at tara reids west hollywood modern diner Ketchup co-owned by Ashton and Dr. Will and Mike Boogie, etc

or at a party at the Standard to celebrate lou adler who owned the roxy and financed all the cheech and chong movies, but is probably best known as the dude who sits next to jack nicholson at the laker games

and yes the party might have naked girls sitting in see through boxes, and theyre knitting, and there might be free booze and people walking around with champaigne and there might be a dude or two creating sushi rolls

but inside im very lonely and sad. and if it wasnt for my very good friends whom i love so much and who provide me with great conversations and companionship, id be writing the most depressing poetry youve ever read.

and the girl called bullshit.

so i set my facebook status to “is considering a road trip to Idaho”

but that didnt seem to convince her either.

happy birthday matt good!

one of the saddest bits of tragedy this year was not being able to go to any matt good shows.

when he was in LA i was in Austin. when he was on his way to Austin and i was ready to see him, he got real sick and had to cancel. as he toured through canada with a full band i was unfortunately saving the world here in hollywood.

if we’re lucky maybe he will swing through the states again sometime soon so we can all hear hospital music with the full rock orchestration.

matt is a complicated and truly gifted artist. very few high profile types keep it as real as he does on the daily via avenues like his blog. he’s revealed intimate details about his health, his political views, and his personal frustrations. just recently he wrote about how shaking hands with adoring fans is sweet but might be dangerous to his well-being.

he seems to prefer his tour bus to hotel suites his dogs to his guitars and thinking about world events as opposed to his day of birth. not really the things youd expect from a veteran rock star, and thats one reason im sure we all love him.

among other things on the vid you will see the likes of celebrities like patrick j pitt speaking a foreign language, miss 604 and her hubby, raymi and fil cooking up some pot spagetti, duane in his plush digs in the pacific northwest, and dale avec toothbrush electrique.

for my part i was going to go to the ocean and say a few things while panning the camera around, but what do you say that hasnt been said already. plus neither of us wear dresses. often. why not, instead, speak to a musician with music. its not intune, but theres a tune in there somewhere. its not a gibson sg, but it looks like one. its not really the best thing you’ll hear all day, but as the little drummer boy said, pah rum pum pum pum.

hats off to mr duane storey for producing the vid.

he may have claimed to have retired

but don “the magic” juan is still a pimp

how do i know this? because when no one was being allowed in at the whisky, not even firemen, cute ones as karisa noted, repeatedly, snoop dogg’s #1 advisor, don “the magic” juan, and his homeboy, and their two female companions, checked in at the ticket booth and then had a few words with the folks manning the door, and were allowed entrance.

me with my press pass, my badge, my iron maiden long sleeve, and my awe were left outside on the curb. apparently, and probably to the joy of my dear mother, i dont have any pimp juice.

which is probably one reason i woke up this morning at the cougars house as ive been finding myself rising one weekend after the other.

she says it bothers her when i sneak out in the mornings so i flip on her tv, put on the wireless headphones and watch a movie. her bedroom tv is the same size as mine – way too big. so its enjoyable. but theres something about her house that makes me watch the oddest films that id never watch at my bachelor pad.

this morning for example i found myself totally captivated by kerri russell in Waitress. a film that was excellent until it didnt really know how to end. if you ask me it had the perfect ending but then went on about 5 minutes too long. which is fine. it made me wanna go to the house of pies today and gorge. but after i saw myself on the matthew good birthday video i dont think my double chins need any more help.

i knew it was an unflattering camera angle, but whatevs, i was trying to dole out the opposite of a “happy” birthday. i wanted something dark and creepy cuz duane said that a lot of people were going to contribute and i figured that theirs would be all chirpy and sweet and i wanted to add a little something different. duane did a great job of piecing all the bits together.

so here i am back in my messy lair. ive escaped the coug. my day is all wide open for me. i could clean up this sty, do laundry, read the entire paper. or i could go see a real movie at a real movie theatre and do my best not to think about the millions of things i wanna do at work this week. its the day of rest, the bible says. and if you dont take it you have sinned.

im such a sinner you have no idea. but not enough, i guess, to get past the velvet rope of rock.

saturday responses to yr friday axe tony questions

featuring pics of last night’s juliette lewis concert at the viper room

Isaac: If u were in charge of Obama’s VP search, would u pick yrself like Cheney did? If not u, then who?

i would pick al gore for several reasons. most of which are symbolic. the bush administration showed how powerful a vp can be. if theres one thing that i believe we need a powerful leader for, it’s in environmental issues, energy, and technology. when al and others say that he can do more outside of politics i dont really buy it. and again bush/cheney proved that the executive branch has far more powers than people ever thought possible. it would be interesting to put those powers in the hands of the man who invented the interwebs.

or ron paul.

Andrea: Do you have any advice on finding a job in blogging? Also, as a Bukowski fan, are you yay or nay on the Modest Mouse song?

first off Modest Mouse never did much for me. the song is ok. nothing i ever felt like playing more than a few times. i hear the band likes to drink. thats nice. they should makes some real drinking songs then. why let europe have the monopoly on that genre?

how to find a job blogging. its very simple. either write a super great blog and take it into the Technorati Top 1000 or join a group blog and become its star. if you live in a city with an Ist blog (austin, chicago, seattle, san fran, ny, la, etc…) join up and become a star. be a star for a year. then when you see that a blog is looking for paid bloggers you will have experience and an example of what youre capable of. mr adam rose was the sports editor of LAist for a little less than a year, became a blogger for the LA Times covering USC. when i became editor of blogs over at the LAT and the UCLA blogger stepped down, i had adam blog about both of those schools. last week he had 20 posts in one day. i seriously doubt that anyone who hadnt written for an LAist type blog would have been capable of that. so join an Ist or create your own thing, write your ass off, then seek and ye shall find.

adriel: pop or soda?

being from the midwest my heart says pop, but after living in cali for more than a century my mouth says diet dr pepper.

anti: are you going to check out the Maloof money cup? and why don’t you learn how to surf this summer?

i do like the maloofs so maybe. although surfing looks fun, it looks that way from the sandy beaches. the water in so cal is so cold you hafta wear a suit. i hate suits.

zona: did you realize that my blog is 3 today? would it be ass kissing to say you inspired it all?

congrats on your blogs birthday! several people say the busblog inspired the creation of their blog. thats probably the biggest compliment anyone can give me. so no its not ass kissing, its something that makes me blush.

JackassJimmy: I know you are the hardest working man in the blog biz, but what can you tell us about the chances of another blook in the future?

no blooks in the near future. im waiting for the rest of you to catch up.

Phaedra: If you could throw your own music festival, who would the acts be in the line-up?

tsar, matthew good, beastie boys, yeah yeah yeahs, the donnas, weezer, the rentals, juliette and the licks, dinosaur jr., ting tings, kanye west, gwar, victoria williams, lil wayne, foo fighters, tom waits, maria mckee, gogol bordello, the go! team, the format, the grates, marilyn manson, oreskaband, janes addiction, and tenacious d

keir: Did Dave Lowery keep his temper in check at the Camper van Beethoven show? Do you have a favorite Camper song (besides “Skinheads?”)?

he whined about only having a 45 minute set. but he was behaved, over all. my other favorite camper song is “where the hell is bill” cuz maybe he went to see the circle jerks.

Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies):Have you ever been in a fist fight? If you did, how did it go down?

in the xbi is the only place where i had fist fights. other than that my life was relatively peaceful. however once in elementary school this kid had his brother and his friend hold me and he called me nigger. then the kid hit me a few times until i broke free. the next day right when the school day was about to end i saw him bending over to put his books into his locker. it was too good of a target so i literally kicked his ass and ran down the crowded hall to the awaiting school bus and jumped on. it was the first time i ever felt the meaning of a hollow victory so the next day i told him it was me who kicked his ass and if he wanted a fair fight he could meet me alone by the swings after school and if he could beat me up without the aid of his brother and friend he could continue to call me nigger, otherwise if i beat him i would meet him in hell because i would never stop beating him until i killed him. he didnt ever call me anything other than tony again.

even though i would have preferred

to have taken a crack at questioning David S. Addington in DC yesterday, who seems to be a master debater and overmatched the democrats who seemingly were unprepared for his responses to the questions on matters concerning waterboarding and other means of torture,

the second best place to be yesterday was here in hollywood for the sunset strip music festival.

even though i will have a photo essay review on Soundboard later today, i will give you a brief synopsis of what went down. first off i had a crazy day at work. i really planned on being out of the office at 6pm for the ceremonies that were being held at the house of blues across from the riot hyatt but my plan is always to be out of the office at 6pm and i am hardly ever out of there by any time other than 8pm. which is fine. i love that office and the people in there.

got home in time to shower, read fan mail, change out of my dress shirt and khakis and make it to the sunset strip where my rock partner for the night, ms ali miller of metromix (who you might recall in this photo with ms sarah silverman) met me outside the security gate of the house of blues.

we got patted down, the dude’s metal detector didnt like my wallet chain, and we proceeded to the press table. no one was at the press table. it said something like media check in but there were two empty chairs and two bottles of water.

apparently we were supposed to be there at 5-6 and even though the rock didnt start till 9, which is what the time was at the time, there was no one to give us our credentials. thats cool. we had phone numbers. they had walkie talkies. we ended up meeting the chief of security and the manager of the club and were escorted in. strangely this is nothing unusual. its hardly ever a piece of cake to get into a show. whatevs, within minutes we had beers in our hands and were enjoying the rocking tunes of camper van beethoven.

oddly theyre much older than they were in the 80s. odder still, they seemed to rock much harder. if you closed your eyes you would have sworn that you were still in the time before grunge back when sonic youth and lydia lunch put out one of my favorite singles and when the campers introduced violin to college rock. after a while they played their hit, but not before bitching that their set was only going to be 45 minutes “we’re having our 25th anniversary show at the Filmore in a few days in SF where we will put on a, you know, real 2-hour show”. and then they broke into a long pink floydish jam which led perfectly into the wacky “where the hell is bill”.

soul asylum followed and rocked harder than they did the last time i saw them at the troubadour or wherever that was. princes former drummer seems bigger than ever before which is a pretty tough trick. but their songs were solid and it was nice to sing along to “frustrated incorporated” again.

we did many shots and drank beers and took a cab down the street to the whisky because even though reliving the days when mtv played videos, the crowd was sorta old and sorta lame and this isnt really why al gore invented the sunset strip. may i add that this is why its great to be with someone 22ish like ali who was yawning the whole time at the house of blues.

when we got to the whisky hair metal rock wannabees tattooed millionaire were on stage and most of them were so young that they didnt even have chest hair. the drummer seemed to be a little light in the loafers and definately light on the snare and the singer/guitarist dude was like mick mars’ brother. and even though it was cheesy and even though i would never buy their record, to me it was exactly what the strip and the whisky and hollywood is all about – a good time with a soundtrack of somewhat screaming metal glam rock.

and a front row of dolled up long haired barely legal girls with miniskirts garters and leather.

went home after three songs from LA Guns who werent bad. and was not sad at all that the dude from Warrant had called in sick.

got a phone call that i need to cover some rock tonight

apparently soul asylum, everclear and camper van beethoven (!) are going to play the house of blues tonight to kick off the Sunset Strip music festival.

not a bad way to start, especially since tomorrow B-Real from Cypress Hill and Slash are going to jam together at the Whisky and Juliette Lewis is going to bring her Licks to the strip across the street.

i have always been a fan of street festivals so i sorta thought that they were going to shut down that part of the strip but i guess you cant do that to Sunset since its already pretty crowded and even with Fountain you can’t really get around that road block, and what would people do who want to go to the Hustler store?

today has been such a busy day that i havent been able to poke back Krista on facebook let alone gchat with the daisy princess, but i was able to find this funny picture of missc and post it on the blawwwwg.

expect pics of the rock later tonight or tomorrow while i take the skinheads bowling.