is not the fact that lots of strangers get to read your stuff and tell you that they think it’s good, it’s that you get to read their good stuff and learn from them.

bunny foo foo from Pan Trogs Blog links to an informative page describing How To Diaper A Monkey.

David from floor pie has a sweet little photo essay on going camping in the redwoods. if only i could find someone to do that with… sigh.

oliver willis has a petition that he’d like you to sign so that he could become Maxim’s Blogger. Me, i’d rather be Maxim’s photo editor.

for lunch the fellas took me to the Farmer’s Market and i had a dozen crawfish and a side of jumbalaya.

if anyone ever says that LA doesnt have it all, they have never lived here.

or theyre so dilluted they even think that the Nets could take the Lakers.

either way, i pity the fools.

tonight’s monday and i have nothing to do and i have nowhere to be and i really wish that there was monday night football on tonight but it’s the summer so maybe i can take an old friend to a cool bowling alley right down my street that has been in movies and junk but for some reason i havent been to yet.

oh look, the LA Examiner is reporting that the LA Unified School District wants to emminent domain the sweet alley.

What?

drive around my neighborhood and you’ll see lots of places where the LAUSD could build classrooms, why would they want to fuck with a bowling alley?

i see a photo essay happening soon.

Marc Weisblott has seen the future of television, and has reviewed it.

just for you.

yes, you.

and of course she will make a wonderful grandma, shes the best mom in the world, after all.

over the years my mom has taught my sister how to be the best mom in the world so i have nothing but good feelings for my little neice.

rarely am i one to talk about me losing to my sister, but heres a good one that im sure you’ll enjoy.

in our junior high, they had this thing where if you made the honor roll you’d get to go on a field trip with all the other honor roll kids to a Cubs game.

my sister made it no problem, me, i missed it by a point or two. it was tragic.

tragic because we didnt live very close to the friendly confines of wrigley field, so every visit was special.

one day a lot of the kids werent in school and i asked someone why and he said, “oh, all the honor roll kids are at the cubs game.”

i was all, “that sucks, i only missed it by a point or two!”

he said, “i know, me too.”

so he and i arranged for a bunch of kids to ditch the last few classes of school and walk over to the sod farm and we played baseball, out of protest.

some rich kid brought a radio and we listened to the game as we played ours.

the day was may seventeenth.

why do i know this date? because it haunts me like a ghost.

only 14,952 went to this afternoon game between the last place Cubs and the second to last place Phillies, starring my favorite opposing player at the time, Larry Bowa, and my two favorite Cubbies, Dave Kingman and Bruce Sutter– but those who attended will never forget it.

and neither will i.

The wind was blowing out and the Cubs jumped to a 7�0 lead in the 1st and lead 15�6 after three innings.

When the score had errupted to 21�9 going into the bottom of the 6th, we ran to Scott Fennesy’s house to watch it on tv.

Big mistake.

The Cubs gave up 12 runs in three innings like only the cubs could. they were experts at self destruction. they gave up just enough runs to send this wild game into extra innings, entering the tenth inning tied 22-22.

dave kingman had hit three home runs in this game, larry bowa went 5 for 5.

it may be the most vivid recollection that i have of all of junior high.

it may have helped that it happened all day.

mike schmidt broke the tie in the tenth by hitting a wind-aided homer (barely) over the left field wall off of bruce sutter, the best reliever in baseball, at that time.

and my sister was there.

and when she came home she tossed me the stub.

give the ball to this fella,

every time.

give the ball to this fella,

every chance you can.

some of the bad review was just. i havent given 110% in anything that ive done lately.

it’s not their fault.

they provide a valuable service to society and that is why i work for them.

i blame allen greenspan.

and this isnt a debate because im not interested in hearing from a bunch of blowhards like economists, or stock market wanks, or the educated or anyone, because they werent there and i was.

i was right in the middle of the ground zero of the eMiracle and i benefitted from it and i suffered because of it and i have no fear pointing the finger and when i do i aim it right at the empty space that should be his heart and i judge.

and a few weels ago i was judged.

and i nearly wept.

the difference between me and allen is that when im judged and i think about giving up, i dont have a mansion and a driver waiting for me.

i have two.

and ive got a dick that works.

but in truth, i have been half assing. im even half assing on this beautiful site.

how terrible must you be when you procrastinate on your main form of procrastination?

this thing could be so beautiful and outrageous and inspirational and sexy and spell checked, but im still moping and some of you cant tell, weirdly, but this is far from spectacular.

people speculate, but people, im not even chasing girls, im running from them. tell me, how crazy is that?

i havent written a poem in forever.

i have no novels to show for all this rum i drink.

no cable access tv talk show called “bloggers” taking the country by storm.

ive been slacking so bad that when three million hits smacked this site last month, did i do anything special to keep them coming back here?

nope.

below average.

underperforming.

baseball blog quitter.

right handed pinch hitter.

i dont even steal half the shit that i should off grokster.

and when i do i ignore it and dont burn it.

super athletic exotic funny smart big titted girl from somewhere hinted that she wanted me to take her to an adults only prom and i want a picture of her ass because it is flawless and perfect and guess how many times she asked and guess how many times i said no.

the answer equals my iq

and allen, i still pray against you.

back in the 20s when he played with Babe Ruth and the Yankees so they gave him #4, Babe batted third, so he wore #3.

While Gehrig’s unbelieveable acheivement of playing in 2,130 consecutive games is worthy of all the attention that it gets, he was also a lifetime .340 hitter and managed to average 147 RBIs a season despite playing behind the Bambino who wasnt bad at cleaning the bases himself.

Gehrig’s streak ended when he came down with ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), now called Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

His one-minute farewell speech at Yankee Stadium is still one of the most emotional and classic moments in all of sport.

Today 13 major league baseball stadiums featured Gehrig’s speech, read by a variety of celebrities like Brooke Shields, S. Epatha Merkerson, Matt Dillon, Blair Underwood, John Goodman, Chi McBride, Chris

Rock, Billy Baldwin Scott Wolf, Jason Priestley, Jesse L. Martin, David Morse, and James Gandolfini (pictured).

“Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth.

I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn�t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day?

Sure I�m lucky. Who wouldn�t consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball�s greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy?

Sure I�m lucky.

When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift – that�s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies – that�s something.

When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter – that�s something.

When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body – it�s a blessing.

When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed – that�s the finest I know.

So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for.”

the ugliest playoff game ive ever seen in my life, my little sister was having a baby.

a combination of love, perserverance, luck, courage, and science, last night shelby g. was born to a world bursting with millions of possibilities.

7 pounds 6 ounces, half black, half white, born to david and angela, midwesterners living across the street from my mom, devoted to chicago sports, animals, chinese food and suburbia.

im sure i will have pics of shelby soon, but in the meanwhile why dont you check out a guy proposing to a woman in a karoke bar.

speaking of the lakers game– how is it that i can get a less than good review from my employer, and yet the nba referees get to fly first class, stay in plush hotels and get to make ten times more than i get and yet they suck.

did the regular season mean nothing to these people?

is the nba giving them bonuses for each ridiculous call?

after this game, any sacto fan who wants to cry could.

sad part was, even while being handed the game by the refs, the lakers still barely won.

that scares me.

but if the lakers stop feeding the big fella, they’re insane. shaq should touch the ball every other time down the court.

if not more.

hi anna, whats up?

nothing, im surprised youre even talking to me.

why wouldnt i talk to you?

good question, why havent you been talking to me?

well, you dont call, and i know youre busy with stuff like figuring out what outfit to wear.

what?

sorry about the French Open.

yeah, well, c’est la vie.

la vie, so what are you up to?

um, you mean other than totally fuming that you’ve been ignoring me?

ok, im gonna go if youre going to be like this.

a friend of mine saw you at the baja fresh this afternoon.

so? i was scouting it out for Wendy’s who wants to buy them all.

yeah, right, you were with a girl.

so what, commrade, this is a free country.

you were holding her HAND!

it’s over between her and me, anna, if you read my blog once in a while you’d have known that.

??? what??? you wrote this morning one thing, then the other minute my friend emails me and says youre still holding her hand at lunch!

you know i stay friends with everyone i meet.

uh-huh. close friends, i can see.

im still friends with you, arent i?

um, not really. no.

ok, i really have to go, anna. this has been real.

you know what, fine! and you know what else?

you cant stop thinking about me?

uh, no.

you cant stop dreaming about me? my windsong stays on your mind?

try again.

whenever you see a tom hanks movie you get a little sad and miss me and feel like calling me up, but you stop yourself cuz youre just a stubborn little girl, deep down?

why are you so mean?

just playing, hottie.

well im not. i hope the lakers lose.

now who’s being mean?

well now, finally, you know how it feels.

what? to be on your own? like a complete unknown.

oh, go f yourself.

you have a good weekend too, baby.

and sk smith breaks it down wonderfully.

sk and dh are about to move away from the city by the bay and i will miss reading the daily reports direct from the mission.

they’re soon headed to texas where they will gentrify austin as nicely as they did to 18th street.

whenever i see an “S” parking permit sticker on the bumper of an SUV i sigh, and then realize why i moved, and then i praise jah.

anyway read her titles of the shoes and then name this one, cuz i cant think of a damn thing.