the first was tom cruise and cameron diaz in Knight & Day which was ridiculously bad.

so bad it made me wonder how bad Killers was starring ashton kutcher and that lady from knocked up because it seemed to me that this was one of those typical hollywood deals where someone was shopping around a script and someone else overheard it and one studio went with the original and the other went with the slightly altered version and they both were terrible.

not saying thats what happened here, but now i wanna see which was worse cuz obvs anything with ashton has to rise itself above the dbaglevel just to break even, quality wise. and as cute as ms heigel is, shes no cam diaz.

anyway, terrible movie and my date wanted to walk out of the half crowded Regal Cinema (LA Live) theatre on Sunday afternoon but then we’d just have been in the most artificial part of LA with nothing to do, so may as well hold my hand and nibble on popcorn.

night before, danielle and i saw Grown Ups the Adam Sandler flick where he took all his bros (chris rock, david spade, paul blart mall cop, and deuce biggalo male gigolo) and together they sold out and watered down and bored the f out of everyone in the theatre.

such a waste of talent.

secondly, why is The Mall Cop getting better billing than Chris Rock and David Spade?

thirdly why is Adam Sandler intent on making a worse film than 8 Crazy Nights?

fourthly why did this movie get 9% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes? (the lowest rating ive ever seen on a movie on RT) who are those 9% who liked the movie and can they immediately be removed from Rotten Tomatoes?

im eating a salad cuz i made a deal with karisa and later i will join a gym.

omg omg

we’ll do an ask Tony

place yr bets, take your chances. shamone

now you know i love american families.

especially the children, as they are our future.

but if you take your kids to the beach in Florida

AS theres a pretty well publicized oil spill happening in the gulf of mexico

and when you arrive at the beach you see large globules of oil right there in the sand,

wouldnt you tell your precious angels that either they need to stay away from the oil

or, you know, get ready for some sticky icky to get on their lil feets?

I know i dont have kids, and perhaps this sort of logic will fall upon deaf ears

you know, never mind. obviously im the crazy one.

of Ke$ha’s tik-tok

i still dont think that anyone can top the Simpson’s version

both versions probably took hundreds of man(and woman) hours

but theres something a tad more amazing about bart lisa and the entire town doing their thing.

but back to Ke$ha, who opens for Rihanna at Staples next month, shes ridiculously quotable. not only was she the first one who said she wanted to push Justin Beiber around in a baby carriage, but i love what she admitted in regard to yr girl Paris Hilton.

“It is true that I barfed in her closet. I ate something funny, danced a little hard and it was at a party. To be honest I thought it was the bathroom. That’s all there is to it.”

see why we like to hang out with Echo Park girls who hang out at the Gold Club?

but lets pretend youre driving to work on Sunset Blvd and in the distance you see these long legs

sure there are other things to notice: the fancy cars, the fire truck, the guy dressed up as a Subway sandwich spinning a sign, etc.

but you see these legs.

then lets say you just happen to have your iphone on yr lap cuz its belting out the summer jamz

then lets say a schoolbus slows down to let a metro bus get in front of you.

normally youd pound the steering column, frustrated that you’re gonna be 5 seconds later to work than you were planning on being.

but these legs settle you down and you finally understand why racehorses always have a slightly smaller horse nearby

so they can calm the testosterone-laden beasts.

because when youre calm you can accept the world for what it is: beautiful

and you now have time to do the right thing.

which in this case is take a picture and turn south on alvarado

and jump on the hollywood freeway

to earn yr daily bread.

on the e! channel

during the holly madison show

(dont judge)

point is i watched it, rewinded it and couldnt figure out if it was real or not

guess we’ll find out in 4-6 weeks.

todays his birthday. hes 24.

hes also a champion chess player, a shape shifter, an award winning author, and one of the best people you’ll ever meet.

usually facebook tells me when my friends have birthdays but when Andy got near 5,000 friends, facebook disabled his account.

they wouldnt tell him why, they didnt tell him to stop whatever it was that he was doing, they didnt give the veteran journalist and former Laura Bush press secretary a second chance

they just sent him this email and basically told him to suck it:

Hi,

Unfortunately, your account has been permanently disabled for violating Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. We will not be able to reactivate it for any reason, nor will we provide further explanation of your violation or the systems we have in place. This decision is absolutely final.

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

its my belief that they didnt think that a gray haired grampa could get 5,000 friends without doing anything fishy.

but andy is more popular than only a handful of people at the Times. and for good reason. bro works his tush off. if he doesnt get a million page views on a month he gets ornery and testy because during the election last year he was getting three times that.

i keep telling him not to worry too much about the scoreboard because hes the king. hes our king. and sometimes people just dont wanna read about politics.

but that doesnt detract andy. he’s an idealist. he thinks he can write in such a way that it’ll bring a smile to your face or get your blood boiling no matter if you wanna read about Obama or Biden or Ron Paul. and hes usually right.

only one LA Times blogger my sister has ever asked me about. Geoff Boucher, the writer who interviews musicians and actors and writes the comic book blog Hero Complex? Nope. Lindsay Barnett the lovely and amazing animal blogger on Unleashed? no ma’am. shes only asked about Andy. Top of the Ticket.

Lindsay by the way loves Andy so much she hugs him any time he drives in from his many mansions and blesses us with his presence.

today he came in, even though it was his birthday, and he got a hug, and cake.

and because Andy is the best, he gave ME a book that he penned. on his birthday. so i gave him a hug too.

happy birthday Muskrat! hang in there and we will make these numbers seem like a beautiful beginning to a long and prosperous journey. cuz thats exactly whats up.