i buy my expensive finery in a place called santee alley

its close to the amazing flower mart, blocks away from skid row.

the other day i was shopping for various items when i saw the most interesting scene.

usually theres guys with little RC cars zipping around to the shouts of “5 Dolla 5 Dolla!” or ladies hawking colored contact lenses.

you might even see a guy with a foot the size of a large pizza just sitting there in the middle of the walkway and i guess youre supposed to put money into his cup out of pity.

anyways the other day i didnt see any of those people, but i did see a guy with a plastic bag with a stuffed animal tail sticking out of it.

the gentleman would step on the bag and make cat screaming sounds.

it wasnt clear what he was selling: was it the plastic bag with the tail? did he have a device in his mouth that was for sale that sounded like a cat yelling in intense pain?

or was he just doing some dark, twisted, performance art?

my shopping companion suggested that he was merely creating a distraction and that we should hold on to our wallets, but im a trusting man so i was simply hoping that he was an artist, performing, right there in santee alley.

which probably isnt at all the case.

later i saw a lady selling little baby tshirts, for babies, that had the words “free chorizo” written on the front, with an arrow pointing down.

i pretended that she was a performance artist also.

today is Juliette Lewis’ birthday

this is a picture from a streetfair from a summer six years ago.

and yes shes still rockin and yes she still has that little stringy rock girl body

and yes i still have emotional feelings toward her.

happy birthday rock star

i can feel so sad

like when youre swimming in the sea and you run into a cold spot

or like when something so good starts hurting after a while

like when you eat ice cream too fast or bowl too much

or you love a girl so much you cut off yr ear

and give it to her.

and then go ahead and paint a picture of yrself with a bandage wrapped around your head

as if its not the creepiest thing ever

are just as interesting as those we share with the rest of the world

LAist’s Elise Thompson ran into the Pink Family at an event this week.

did you know that Pink is a family name and not just descriptive of the famous dogs?

did you also know that while I was getting my oil changed on La Brea and Melrose today I walked across the street to Pinks to get a dog. and did you know that after 15 minutes the line didnt move?

did you know that i took like 5 pics of Pinks while i was there?

did you know how i was all omg when i saw that Elise posted this vid probably exactly at the same time i was in line.

do you believe in coincidences? did you know that Kurt Vonnegut said that coincidences make him believe in God even though he doesnt believe?

yep.

did you also know that Einstein said “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous”.

live tv, for all its beauty is really just an accident waiting to happen.

you have these pretty reporters, satellite vans, and expensive cameras outside bars on a saturday night in los angeles – is it any surprise that some loud mouth would step into the shot to scream about how the president of the united states sleeps in a flying saucer et cetera.

but you know why i love mankind? because i went to myfoxla to see if they had the clip up: no way

then i went to youtubes to press my luck and bingo – theres the moment, perfectly cropped and uploaded for everyones pleasure.

the uploader even seemed to know who the gentleman shouter is and what website he blogs on.

and we run around praising the indians but all those slackers had were smoke signals.

theres only two people who use my home, landline, phone – my mom, and the red cross.

because of that i almost always miss my blood donation appointment because who he hell checks their answering machine any more?

if i see theres a message, i just call my mom.

last night i drove our director of seo to the rentacar place by the airport. it was like 60 bucks a day for a regular car or 80 bucks a day for a convertible vette so which one would you pick?

i took him to kanpai because he said he really loves sushi and i got this lobster roll for him to check out and he said it was the best roll he’s ever had. and this is a guy who’s traveled the world.

afterwards i drove past randy’s donuts. of which i am the mayor of on foursquare.

and just like several other times at night, the so called 24 hour establishment was closed.

some times i go there and theyre outta donuts. some times i go and theyre closed.

people laugh but i swear to you do not be surprised if one day you see me in the donut business.

meanwhile:

saw that dancing baby video for the first time today and i thought if babies were more talented

perhaps then they would be more popular.

keep trying, babies!

does it get any better?

and during his press conference he was even better, if thats possible

LOVE HIM!

i love LA

i love LA