making poor lindsay blame herself. WI!?

you know lindsay from minnesota. who once dated that billionaire only to run off to wisconsin to find some corn fed prince charming in gods country? seems like no matter who we are, what age we be, or where our crib at, we all share the same patterns:

I either spend months with someone I dislike, pretending that I can ignore everything about them that makes me cringe, only because they seem so deeply infatuated with me…

And then, when I actually like someone I convince myself that they could not possibly like me. It’s as if I’ve come to expect that relationships can only be one sided.

my prognosis: this sounds like a woman who needs to come to austin starting next weekend and hug drink it out.

that probably goes for the rest of you too.

or at least los angeles.

only here can you make food out of a truck, park it next to a walgreens,

and please so many people all night, who dont deserve your tender wares.

they have a few milk crates on the sidewalk if you cant wait to eat yr tacos

they have a small card table aside the trailer if you want to add some salsa

and across the street a man in a tiny truck blares spanish music and repairs shoes.

he has a sign that says shoe repairs.

i wait for my tacos al pastor, look down at my shoes, and wished they needed repairing.

a buck fifty for two tacos, four bucks for a pollo burrito, a buck tip and

oh why not another fiddy cent for being so awesome

and then speed away into the darkness of echo park

but do you know why hes smiling?

cuz he beat the f outta cancer.

see that scar? todd was at the doctor and the doctor said:

all those years of basking in the right field bleachers of wrigley has gotten you skin cancer

todd said left field doc, left field. (right field sucks.)

then todd sucker punched his primary care physician, rifled through the cabinets until he found a scalpel. and

cut

that

evil

out of his 48 inch python.

totally not his pitching arm but that doesnt even matter either.

what matters is he took the cancer and showed it to his totally freaked out and cowering doctor sprawled on the floor and said is this it? IS THIS THE CANCER DOC?!!!!?!?!11?

he was all yes i guess yes!

and todd flicked it out the window

opened the door

paid the nurse his $25 co-pay

and sewed up his arm with a guitar string left handed

while reviewing the new frightened rabbits epic with his right.

because sometimes, friends, it aint no thing.

the service was fast, the price was ok. but everything we ate felt like it was left overs from thursday

and it was sunday.

heres why Foursquare is powerful – as bad as it was, the restaurant in question has no mayor.

which means if i simply go back for a drink then im its mayor.

but who wants to be mayor of somewhere pukey and terrible and dry and flavorless?

ive only been playing foursquare for a little over a month and im already mayor of 7 places, and i highly recommend them all:

+ El Gran Burrito (Los Angeles, CA)

+ Kanpai sushi (Los Angeles, CA)

+ KFC vine near sunset

+ Liliya China Bistro (Los Angeles, CA)

+ Mann Glendale Exchange 10 (Glendale, CA)

+ Origami Cafe (Los Angeles, CA)

+ Spitz – Little Tokyo (Los Angeles, CA)

saw Alice in Wonderland yesterday before the Oscars, and i liked it!

almost every time i am asked about the keys to blogging
i say first you really have to blog
and somewhere their excuse is but i dont have the time.

meanwhile all of them understand the beauty and the glory
and the satisfaction
of what many have called the Quickie.

it should be of no surprise that in these A.D.D. days
of instant messaging, drive thru fast food, and chat roulette…

a short powerful blast of reportage from ur part of the world
might be exactly what yr fans want,

and what yr perfectly capable of delivering.

for example, yesterday andy threw a keg party
and the craftsman was delicious
and the guests were dynamic, fascinating, and mindblowing.
even the rain came.

Best Picture
what should win: ‘Avatar’
what will win: ‘The Blind Side’

Best Director
who will win: Kathryn Bigelow, ‘The Hurt Locker’
who should win: Quentin Tarantino ‘Inglourious Basterds’

Best Actor
who will and should win: Jeff Bridges, ‘Crazy Heart’

Best Actress
who will and should win: Sandra Bullock, ‘The Blind Side’

Best Supporting Actor
who will and should win: Christoph Waltz, ‘Inglourious Basterds’

Best Supporting Actress
who will and should win: Mo’nique, ‘Precious’

Best Animated Feature Film
what should win: ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’
what will win: ‘Up’

Best Original Screenplay
who should win: Quentin Tarantino, ‘Inglourious Basterds’
who will win Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, ‘A Serious Man’

Best Adapted Screenplay
who will win: Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, ‘District 9’
who should win: Geoffrey Fletcher, ‘Precious’

Best Original Score
who will win: ‘Avatar’, James Horner
who should win: ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’, Alexandre Desplat

Best Original Song
who should win: ‘Almost There’ from ‘The Princess and the Frog’
Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
who will win: ‘The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)’ from ‘Crazy Heart’
Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Best Documentary Feature
what will and should win: ‘The Cove’

Best Poster
‘Precious’

i have a hangover, america.

canada, ignore that.

only problem with $3 beers, good beers, served by catholic school girls

is the hangover

the crippling hangover that forces you to remain in yr bed

eating only scoop-sized fritos,

frosted flakes, and warm apple juice.

watching austin powers on free tv is just a weird side effect.

had good music, not annoying people

and all the wait staff dressed like school girls

and the beers were only $3

and its right by the subway. i will be back.

from Bakersfield, Amy

arrested for DUI after allegedly getting drunk at an allegedly gay bar

allegedly

if the charges are true

which i dont believe AT ALL

but if they are true

why is it that self hating gay guys seem to find a home with the republican party

and wind up as senators, congressmen creating laws that would hurt the same people who they want to make out with?

allegedly.

i seriously cant figure it out.