i go to the dry cleaner once a week. that was not something that i felt id be doing. it is as odd to me as if i had a beemer in my driveway. but the tradeoff is i get the job of my dreams.

not an easy job neither.

yesterday i fell asleep at 8:30pm while watching the cubs game. for some reason my body was all, yeah thats all folks. when i woke up i had an email from my good buddy bob who ive known since kindergarten: “So I open up the Drudge Report this morning like I do every morning after stopping by the world famous busblog and behold what do I see screaming at me in 48 pt font? An article about Fidel Castro written by Tony Pierce for the L.A. Times! Congrats!”

so i clicked over to drudge and it was huge. this sickly pic of fidel and the crazy quote that i had put in the headline that drudge seemed to like also, Fidel: “What can we do to help Obama?”

the story was about members of the black congressional congress flying to havana to see what could be done about the bad relationship between the us and cuba. because andy malcolm is on a much needed vacation, i promised i’d help the Ticket, one of the most popular blogs we have. #75 in the world. actually a joy to write for. but typepad had an upgrade recently so people are asking me all these questions, and we’re changing some blogs and working on others, and launching new ones (like Angels Unplugged), i barely had time to get the castro post up, but before i left it was there and i guess an hour later it was on drudge, where it stayed till this morning.

the interesting thing about drudge is reading the comments from his readers. interesting because since he has no comments, they really dont get to say anything on his page, you pretty much have to go somewhere like the comments, for example, of the castro piece, of which there are now 317.

my friend amy tweeted me today. she told me that because im a full time journalist i could go visit there, no problems. and since my grampa, we think, was cuban, and since one of the funnest girlfriends i ever had is cuban, and since i would love to see what its like before the inevitable happens once “normalization” happens… i’ll say this, it certainly would make for an intersting new years eve blockstock.

now the trade off is: read the rest of this anthony keidis book, or hit the hay before 2am.

im like, youre kidding right?

because if it can, it looks like a 1980s version – or a rough draft version

right now howard stern is trying to figure out what his new phone will be, but hes not even considering an iphone because it doesnt have a Real key board, and even though thats the #1 reason people dont buy iphones, its also the #1 most ridiculous reason because anyone with an iphone can tell you that you really dont do ALL THAT MUCH typing on your phone, and when you do, you totally get used to iphones virtual keyboard, and unless youre filling out some wacky form, the spell checker figures out what you shootin for the majority of the time.

and then theres the endless amounts of apps that just keep streaming through…

not to mention the complete ease of getting music from itunes, and texting is a breeze, and everything looks pretty when you look at it, etc.

today was a good day because of lots of reasons, but then it was over, just like that.

im still not exactly sure what theyre selling here
but…

you should have called the police.

there arent many weekdays when this blog isnt updated, so when you dont see new crap you should assume the worst.

first thing i did was call my server/host folks at MediaTemple. very nice people, but the first guy didnt even know that Blogger.com existed and the second guy didnt fix the problem.

so i tried to contact Blogger, and as much as i heart them – i might be their #1 fan – their new way of “support” is a madhouse. there is no way to contact a human. you have to leave your problem on a message board with everyone else in the world. no offence, but youre Google, youre the biggest, coolest, richest company around. have that message board be your problem, not ours. Open Source is no way to provide customer service. hire some kids, have them fix your problems, and watch them rise to the top.

i was seriously considering moving to WordPress. blasphemy, i know, but what options did i have?

so i tweeted something mean about Blogger and in minutes Eric Case, formerly the product manager and head of customer support for Blogger said he could help. even though he doesnt work there any more. Eric, in case you dont know, is an angel sent down to Earth to save us all. you’ll see.

problem was, i was so distraught that i couldnt busblog that my body went into complete shutdown mode. i went to bed at 8:15pm, turned on the Cubs at 8:16pm and was out like a light at 8:17pm. i woke up at 3am to take a leak and fell back asleep until 6:30am. i wrote eric and his pals a few times and they said bro its MediaTemple. turned out MT changed my password while trying to help me, i plugged the new password into Blogger a few minutes ago and here we are.

the bus is back on the road.

thus the picture of me in my favorite hoodie next to the place where i barf.

and of course it doesnt hurt that the cubs are undefeated and on pace to a perfect season.

raymi and fil and pitt went to the jays home open’r.

and below you can see me nerd/spazz out with my late night live bloggin, which is filled with incredible jokes, rare insights, and adorable asides.

oh wait, thats what she said!

top of the eighth, geoff geary comes in to relieve oswalt. fukudome is up. hes like a cross between matsui and ichiro plus some bad luck. pops to lee in shallow left. fukudome should fly to new orleans real quick after the game and get the curse off his bat. dee lee hits a 310 foot foul ball. next pitch is way outside, 1-2. derek k’s swinging at a high fastball. im gonna trade for him too. bros gonna hit .325 this year. dare me! milton bradley loves to swing, strike one. swings hard but gets jammed, bloop single? no, kaz grabs it. milton twists his ankle at first NOOOOO!

bottom of the eighth. milton bradley is ok. exhale, chicago. hes in left. marmol is in to set up gregg. damn hes got heat. kaz leads off. marmol looks like tiger woods but younger. kaz grounds to short. pudge takes ball one at his head. 1-2, marmol brings teh heat yo. i want two cokes now. and some ice cream, its opening day! i havent sat down the whole game. im typing on my laptop which is on the bed. grounder to the riot, two down. i wonder if the cubs would hire me to live blog. probably hell no is the correct answer. ooooh, what about live tweet? i called it. lance berkman is at 2-1. hes so very sleepy. 2-2. full count. they dont have a gun working so i will guestimate that one was 125 mph. fouled into the stands. that ball is now officially retired. good for it. ball four. retire that one too. me and karisa had steak the other night. when did she get pretty all of a sudden? carlos lee is up. hes fat. pinstripes dont become him. marmol is wild, its 2-0 on the all star. takes the first strike. nice change up evens it at 2-2. whiffle ball pitch. broke his bat – high foul to left field stands, aramis has a bead on it, the bat is flying to his side, it doesnt make it, foul out.

top of the ninth. score still 3-1. opposing teams only get one run off us. its precident now. its texas law now. aramis’s grounder eats up tejada, he picks it up and throws out the chug a lug ramirez. fontenot is tone tnof if youre harry caray. gregg is warming in the bullpen and spitting seeds. seeds of hate. he bloops one infront of carlos lee. bad communication between lee and tejada. dont they both parlez espanol? this lets the rookie of the year soto take a shot. wild pitch sends the second baseman fontenot to second base. check foul makes it 1-2. called k on the outside corner. ump has a date, apparently. the riot says work for it blue and takes it to 3-1. high ball four. michah hoffpaur pinch hits for marmol. bob tells us he had a good spring. he also tells us that cecil wasnt warming a lefty so the cubs have the advantage. good cuz on 1-0 but swings through it. michah slams it to right, pence gets it off one bounce, throws it to pudge at home, pudge is up the third base line, fontenot slides perfectly around him and touches home with his hand. cubs 4 houston 1. soriano flies to right.

cubs 4 tejadas 1

bottom of the ninth, kevin gregg comes in to close. hes got goofy glasses on. tejada gets his third hit of the day up the middle. blum is up. bob is saying gregg cant see so soto doesnt use fingers to call the pitch he touches parts of his bod. fly ball to bradley in the gap he touches it but cant hang on to it. runners on first and third. bradley may have over run it. pence is up, gregg throws some junk pitch for the first strike. is that a knuckler? did it again, 0-2. more junk, fouled. high fly to center, joey gathwait in for fukudome is under it. bro tags, run scores, only the bookie cares. bourne with one out and runner on first. drives it deep to center. ha! two outs. everybody get up! jason smith pinch hitting. looks like a meaner david justice. grounder to lee CUBS WIN!

top of the fifth: soriano leads off with a single past the aging tejada. everythings about how old it is with him. hit n run hit at kaz. 4-6-3 double play. koske doesnt get a breake. d lee pops up a hanging curve for the third out.

bottom of the fifth: how is pence up? then who was the lefty before him? good thing nothing in here is true. whatevs zam strikes him out. michael bourne strikes out too. zams on fire now. hes warmed up. four ks all in the last two innings len tells us. two outs with the pitcher up. good time for a beer. its opening day! worm killer back at carlos. 1-3. cubs forverz.

top of the sixth: there was an ad for meynards. i wanna have to buy mulch one day. milton bradley leads it up. cardinals blew a two run lead in the ninth to lose on opening day. nelson says ha ha. white sox got snowed out at the cell. could it get any better? me and the editor of the paper watched a pitch or two of the dodger game. just to hear vinny to see if he made the trip to diego. si. made the mistake of telling him im in eight fantasy leagues. he said what do you do for your day job? whoops. good thing blogs are up 4x over last year. milton pops to pudge. im eating thai food. palms thai. aramis is down 0-2 with one out. lots of people in the stands with those great old 80s jerseys. why would you ever stop that madness? fouls another one off. pops to second berkman squeezes it. two down. fontenot is 2-2 today batted .240 last year. we got him off the sosa trade len reminds us. grounds to second. 1-2-3.

bottom of the sixth: lyle lovitt is at the game. he sang the anthem. someone brought their baby to the game. way too close to the field sitting next to lyle to bring your baby, lady. you know how easy it is to forget you have a baby at a ball game? kaz has a lazy check swing called a strike. even the cubs announcers are saying its a bad call. toldya he plays like a stoner. focus up bro! pudge is up. pudge takes a high strike, asks the up where it was. up says over the plate amigo. tomorrows no beer day in toronto. so unamerican. pudge whiffs. thats six for carlos. sitdown-ey is six in spanish. berkman is up. top 10 pick in all of my fantasy leagues. sure doesnt looks scary in the box. looks like hes sleepy. goes full then walks him. only z’s second walk of the day, but now carlos lee is up, grounds to the riot and we’re out of it.

top of the seventh. might have to turn the busblog into the cubs blog. see if i can get everyone totally not reading. soto grounds out. im eating spicy mushroom coconat milk soup with chicken and shrimp fried rice. ive lost 2 pounds since being sick so im also drinking a real coke. its buzzing me. so hi hi hi. the riot takes oswalt to a full count. drives one into right for a single. oswalt should hit the showers. zam swings for the fences on 0-1 did you feel the breeze in canada? strikes out on the next pitch. alphonso grounds out quick.

bottom of the seventh. they have dancing girls on top of the dugout at minute maid enron field. the marlins have that too, right? tejada singles to lead off. this coke tastes good. not hunter pace is up. its geoff blum. dum nam. ball four high. take him out lou. zam takes it well. people boo cuz theyre ugly. zam tips his hat which is french for you aint scored on my ass all day so eat it.

aaron heilman from the mets comes in with no outs and runners at first and second with the tying run at home. i want another coke. 6-4-3 double play baby. now head for the exits, tex-its. low hitting michael bourne up with a dude on third. fouls the third pitch away its 1-2. hit 229 last year. fouls another off. i drafted him cuz he steals like crazy and hes gotta hit better than 229 this year. just dont start today. high chop has no business being a hit but bourne is so fast hes on first before it even bounces back to earth. run scores. pinch hitter for oswalt who i will now trade for because hes such a loser. michael cotts comes in to relief the met. jason michaels is the pinch hitter looks like buddy bell. goes to 3-1, which is the score now. full count. cotts the lefty digs in, ground ball to the hole at short, the riot double pumps and throws out the rookie.

cubs 2 – strohs 0

top of the third – fukudome strikes out. he batted .208 here last year. d lee gets it way up in the air, lee goes all the way to the wall. long out. milton walks. aramis sends my stolen base fantasy sleeper michael bourne to the warning track. cubs got wood but no runs. our seasons over.

bottom of third. len got an email from a unofficial cub historian. that was the fourth lead off homer to start a season for the cubs. the first was in 1888 when i was born. remember in 1994 when tuffy rhodes started the season with one? hit three that day, bob tells us. borne, michael bourne hits a single over short. he has an 86% stolen base percentage. dave clark is coaching third. another black coach. nice. perfect bunt by oswalt on 2-0. i woulda let him try to steal on that one. kaz is up. he looks like a latin ichiro. len was just saying how fukudome who is new to center was playing too deep, kaz bloops it to center, bourne to third, kaz to first. look out for the double steal. pudge rodriguez up. only guy who coulda gotten away with that nickname. strikes out. berkman grounds it to second. cubs rule

top of the fourth – fontenot hits an opposite field double. two for two for the day with geo soto up, who is also batting a thousand. who can stop us? we’re lucky to have len and bob. theyre not harry and lou but who is. but theyre fine. good sometimes. geo grounds to first moves mike over. the riot hit 307 last year. i’ll take that this year too from my #8 batter. hits one hard to right. hunter pence doesnt have a chance at home cubs score. zam grounds out.

cubs 3 – astros zip.

bottom of the fourth. carlos lee up. i hear he snores. pops up to d lee who is a refined gentleman. miguel the liar is up. zams pitch count is 50. hes on pace to take us to the ninth. rascal flatts vince gill and hootie will be in concert at wrigley in the summer. oh the humanity. miguel whiffs. zam for cy young. pence is tall. carlos curves one in at the ankel, check swing. pops to alfonso, one two three.

top of the first inning, soriano homers on the second pitch of the game. cubs are going all the way. bob brenly just said soriano is on pace to hit 500 homers this year. milton bradley looks good batting cleanup. what a lineup soriano, d. lee. fukudome, bradley, aramis, and d lee in there somewhere. youve come a long way, baby. bradley fouls one off at 3-0. like that.

cubs 1 – stros 0

bottom of the first. zambrano. id rather watch carlos zambrano pitch than all of the mlb pitchers combined. hes like a little kid in a big kids body. milton doubles up kaz on a great catch. kaz is sorta a stoner anyways. ends the inning.

top of the second. aramis leads off with a dinger. Enron Field baby. now mike fontenot gets a hit. whos on the mound, you momma? no its roy oswalt. throws 300 mph. no outs men on first and second, the riot slams one at berkman at first. diving catch moves the runners over. your boy zam is up. bro is the best hitting pitcher in baseball. hits it up the middle on a pulled in infield, kaz looks fontenot at third, he stops dead. kaz throws to first and zam shakes his head at fontenot. soriano broken bat ground out. oh well.

cubs 2- astros 0

bottom of second. miguel tejada lies about his age, creams a single past aramis. i dont see any bunting at enron field. not at least behind home plate. the economy? tejada thrown out trying to steal off a throw in the dirt. soto, the rookie of the year throws his old ass out. cubs baby. blum flies out to left. theres an ad on the left center wall that says busblog. no it says preminum beef cattle genetics. genetics? i was with you till then. cecil cooper manages the astros. nice to see black managers. d lee scoops out a crazy low throw.