16 of my favorite pics of me

i have lots of pics i love. here are the 16 im willing to discuss at this moment.

one of the places i lived in San Francisco was on Haight Street a block from Fillmore. Near the end of the Fillmore line is a legendary rock club. At some point in my day I thought to myself, “Sound check for Elvis Costello tonight is probably 4pm.” So I got on the 22 Fillmore bus at 3:30pm, waited around a little in the mist and at 4pm a limo pulled up, Elvis got out. Earlier I had told a different guy, “if you take my pic, I’ll take one of you with him.”

one of the weirdest parts of my blogging career was how popular this blog was in canada. im not sure if it was raymi (pictured) or matthew good who linked to me first from up there, but as soon as they did, this thing went to another level for years. this is a halloween party up in toronto where raymi is dressed as a woman who got her neck slit open. im dressed as an american.

i had never been to a movie premiere before. liana miraculously got two tickets for the premiere of kill bill 2 at the chinese theatre, and you got free popcorn and pop.

very few pictures exist of me in college or with a skateboard, or wearing a swatch, or with chris smoking a cigarette wearing my amnesty international concert tee shirt. later that year i would have an epiphany on that plaid couch while watching roger clemens pitch in the playoffs.

found myself having to drive Cheech to his home and i said i have about an hours worth of questions for you on this 40 minute trip so strap in compadre. he answered them all.

i used to get invited to speak at colleges more often. but then the kids started quoting me on twitter.

my first day working at the LA Times also happened to be the paper’s Christmas party. this was the publisher David Hiller. he introduced himself to me and said, “Mr Blog Man, I have heard of you. I have a blog myself. Do you have any advice for me?”

I said, “I have seen your blog and it is good, Mr. Hiller. But I would not invest too much energy on it if I was you.”

Shocked, he said, “but why?”

I said, “I have heard a little about your life. You have a great life. Great life = bad blog. Bad life = great blot.”

And he laughed and laughed and someone took this picture.

I had no idea what to wear to work on your first day so I wore a ski sweater.

my first day at LAist I wore my lucky hawaiian shirt – which I would mysteriously lose the day etienne and i broke up for the second time and swim trunks. Basically on 6/6/06 we had drinks at the Good Luck Club and I said 100,000 people are reading this blog, your blog, right now. i know a way to get to a million. when i left we were at 1.3 million. the pants (left) knew we were gonna do it as did big tanky (right) because i was wearing a funny hat.

my last day at LAist i wore a robe and pajamas because the slur against bloggers was we were just losers in our pajamas in our parents’ basement typing up a bunch on nonsense. we were celebrating that i would be overseeing all the blogs at the LA Times. to my right is mr adam rose who had already made the leap from LAist to the LA Times, he was blogging about USC sports after a beautiful run of being the Sports Editor at LAist, a job he begged me for of which I gladly allowed him to do. he was incredible at it. he would later become a big wig at the huffington post.

sxsw austin about to ask a few questions to the drummer of metalica, watch amy winehouse, kiss a beautiful woman, and finish that diet dr pepper. sxsw is my favorite thing all year and i rarely go. but when i do i try to savor as much as i can while getting plenty of rest. the trick is to get a hotel right downtown. it will cost more. but if you can get a 5pm nap for about an hour and then go back out there, you’ll look as handsome and healthy as that smooth bastard.

i was sitting on a panel discussion in chinatown next to ev williams, pictured, who near the end takes over the laptop connected to the projector and it announced that Blogger had just that minute been sold to pre-IPO google. a few years later ev would co-found Twitter. the thing you probably clicked first to get here.

before i got work at the academy, i struck out on a bunch of job interviews. i couldn’t see why. my track record was incredible. but in retrospect, maybe the man upstairs was just waiting for the oscars job to open up. it turned out being the longest job i ever held and the most dramatic positive surge: 4,000% increase in followers.

crazy thing about LAist. we had no budget. i couldnt pay anyone. so i would throw barbeques at my apartment once a month. everyone would show up, theyd even bring food. it was beautiful. i think people write better when they like each other. this group loved each other.

bleachers, wrigley field, thanks to a go fund me supported by the greatest friends in the world. game four world series. three games later the cubs would win it all and my charmed life will have reached a peak.

on a road trip to canada in a dingy motel in oregon

on a road trip in ontario and quebec wearing a belt from a drug store that would tighten no problem but didn’t like to unloosen. etienne had just bought me ray bans and said i looked handsome for once and would like to take a picture of me at the count of three. un, deux

happy canada day, america

canada cookies

for most americans, Canada is that place UP THERE that we never visit, barely think aboot and foolishly ignore

but thanks to blogging, i have made friends, kissed girls, drank beers, eaten poutine, and even had the pleasure of devouring Beaver Tails all while saying

why didnt anyone tell me about all of this before.

the idea that canada is nothing more than igloos and hockey rinks and beautiful women and eskimos is only half true

there are also Tim Hortons on every block, government run liquor stores, coins used as actual money, and french used as an actual language

the people say sorry a lot, they are super sweet, and the queen walks down the street during hockey season and gives high fives to the townfolk whenever a goal is scored.

i have had the great good pleasure of visiting americas hat several times and i am overdue for another excellent adventure and i must tell you, america:

poutinecanada is also america minus the dingleberries

in vancouver i saw a marijuana store run by hells angels

in toronto i ice skated outside in the snow and everyone, even the children were drunk off love (and molsons)

in ottowa i ate the most delicious indian food and saw the most beautiful gargoyles

in kingston i ate poutine at a kfc and i let out a moan so loud that they gave me a free cookie but told me i had to leave, soorry.

in barrie i soaked in a hot tub with lesbians as thick snowflakes lazily fell upon our heads

in quebec city i felt like i was in a runaway neighborhood of paris that was miraculously transported across the globe

and in montreal i proposed to a girl who said, first lets eat some smoked meats and we danced next to a brick wall while grafitti artists expertly painted our blurry forms

i have been harassed at the border, i have seen fireworks on a river, i have seen baseball played in a dome

i even slept for a night in a honeymoon suite overlooking niagra falls and i wondered,

why does america have buffalo when we could have had all of this?

don cherry, geddy lee, matthew good, neil young, mike meyers, pamela anderson, wayne gretzky

and now justin trudeau’s wife

should all be honorary americans

and by that i mean they should be given a gun and be exempt from paying taxes.

happy canada day, my favorite country in america that doesnt speak even a little bit spanish

unless theyre on vacation in cuba.

keira-anne is a beautiful spirit

miss 604, keira-anne, and their boyfriends hanson

pretty much the epitome of what youd imagine of a canadian young lady.

polite, healthy, creative, fun, and concerned with all the good things that you wish everyone else would be concerned aboot

i first met her at Blink 182 show. we were in the pit. moshing. i had been knocked to the ground.

kids were stomping on me but didnt know it was me, they thought it was a bag of Cubs hat.

out of the bloody darkness i saw a hand. it was hers, but i couldnt reach up.

then suddenly she grabbed my scruff and pulled me out from certain death.

she dragged me to the edge of the pit, borrowed a beer from a stunned gentleman who couldnt believe he was seeing The keira-anne in the flesh

she poured some down my throat and wiped the blood from my brow with the remains.

she kissed my forehead and pushed me back into the swirling mass of bodies.

little bluebirds fluttered around her and placed a wreath of wildflowers atop her blonde locks.

i mouthed thank you

she mouthed

eat timbits

which is now my gmail password.

today she posted an interview she conducted with me recently.

click if only to see a cute pic of she and i in canada in 2007.

Jian Gets Off

Jian Ghomeshi

there will be a day when women who are sexually abused will find justice

that day is not today, not even in beautiful Canada,

Jian Ghomeshi

i did not follow the Jian Ghomeshi case closely because here in the USA it was not big news. even today, the day of the verdict, it’s not on tv. but from what i have read, he admitted he punched and choked women but the judge did not believe the women’s testimony.

because of stats like the ones above, which are sadly quite similar here in the States, many women don’t even press charges because they know they’ll face judges like the one today who said basically “BS, youre lying.

two things will cause change: women video documenting Everything and/or women carrying weapons.

justice would be easier, but it seems impossible right now. tragically.

the most interesting mayor in the americas has died

rob ford

just as hateable as he was lovable rob ford is no longer smoking crack, drinking beers, or embarrassing our friends the Canadians

cancer got him and got him quick. he’s dead. life is short and if you do it right you will be remembered with a smile on yr face.

i didn’t know much about Ford’s politics, but i am told i would have not agreed with it. thats fine.

he was still a passionate, fascinating character whose accent was as thick as his waistline.

i appreciated that he was a man of the people. i appreciated that he was passionate about Toronto.

i appreciated that he told the press the truth – after he lied a little.

im more sad that he’s dead than lots of politicians who have recently died.

maybe because he reminded me of Chris Farley mixed with a fatter Chris Farley.

Canada should never be ashamed of their most interesting mayor, we know he wasnt Canada.

he was the Canadian guy who couldnt ice skate who for some reason ran out onto the ice with dress shoes.

and now he’s dead.


theres few things i like more than taking pictures.

here are some of my faves from 2010

toronto, canada, jan 2
in the wake of the failed underwear bomber “enhanced security” was mandatory for international flights going into the usa. here a child speaks for all of us.

hollywood, jan 9
while eating a mcrib in the FoodsCo parking lot on Sunset i wonder why these seagulls prefer that lot when mccarthur park’s lake is only a few miles away. and of course theres also the ocean.

red line, vermont and sunset, jan 16
taggers are the poets of this city

la times cover, jan 20
you have no idea how much i love this paper

hollywood blvd, jan 22
elmo thinks hes undercover when he wears his ron artest jersey, but we see you g

la times, jan 26
tsar makes a triumphant return during a live show in the basement of the alamo

santa monica, jan 28
whenever the lakers win the sky gets purple and rooms for locals are half price

omg new years eve

the northern illinois marching band played in the lobby

we went to a house party in a town called Barrie. Barrie has lots of snow

the house had all kinds of people, many dogs, a cat, and lots of fish

missc, paulie, and i dressed up as clockwork orange. we all played air hockey.
g-d do people in canada love hockey!

so yeah, we dressed up like clockwork orange. then the pirate eye patches came out.
the only thing missing were the pimp canes and fake mustaches.

carrie made paulie a 2 girls 1 cup cake. not one picture was sfw, except this one of Giuseppina taking a pic of the barbies

she also made cookies. which were sfw. the name, rapey eye cookies, however, were not sfw

after the ball dropped we hopped in the hot tub in the snow. as it snowed.
mighty amazing, and in the morn we had eggs, toast, and Chocolate Milk!!!!

Happy New YEAR!

dear blog

we’ve had a pretty good decade together havent we? you betcha.

k, then can you talk to Mr. Clock and tell him to give me a frickin break. every night im trying to make something happen and its 225am or something insane.

tomorrow im supposed to meet Casie at noon and id really just like to sleep all day.

but thats no way to spend the last days of vacation.

i also have the worst stomach situation.

sushi for lunch with soft shelled crab followed by poutine and shawerma from a truck is no way to treat the thing that youve abused the most in yr life.

plus that super big gulp of Capt Morgan courtney poured me followed by the molson canadians pauly kept broing me.

how am i even awake right now?

ah thats right, the 630p nap.

i think companies should factor that into bonuses now that we’re in this neverending recession.

most companies (that arent AIG or all of those banks we bailed out) have a hard time giving their employees raises. so in lieu of that they should offer either a few extra personal days off, or what i would be stoked for: permission to nap in their cars for a good 20-30 minutes after lunch.

does wonders for me. probably because im so ridiculously olde.

im in Toronto Trick

flew outta Chicago with limited problems. yes there was a new rule that said that flights to Canadia would not allow carryons on their airplanes, but thankfully it did not include purses, laptops, camera bags, and emergency equipment. you know, what carryons used to mean way back in the day before people shoved their rolley luggage into the top of the plane because they were too special to go to baggage claim like the rest of us. lemme tell you. suddenly there was room in the overhead dealies. even moreso on my flight because when you fly on Saturdays or midweek, the planes arent packed. ah luxury.

got picked up at the airport by the angel of toronto.
my flight was delayed so Miss C drove in circles around YYZ for an hour(!)
so when i got into her car i lifted my shirt like The Situation to brighten her day.
then to brighten my day she drove me to the hugest christmas light show on one house in all of north america. witness:

hi baby Jesus:

two points Santa:

after being amazed we ate at a place that only served shrimp if it was ontop of steak. sweet. then i checked into my hotel and Carrie was all, make sure they give you a room that looks out over where there will be fireworks and a huge concert and ice skating on new years eve. so i said cool and they said anything for the busblog, duh!

omg view:

walked around last night. it was negative a million degrees but i felt great cuz i was in a foreign land. gotta give it up to the homeless of TO, those are some committed gentlemen. saw one guy just sitting indian style outside the 7-11 begging. couldnta been a colder night. saw another guy sleeping in a little bank enclave which was smart cuz it was heated in there. but he had one hand down his pants and some of his ass cheek hanging out. brought a smile to my face. then saw two people who didnt look all that homeless, just looked like they couldnt find a hotel room, sleeping over some grates all cuddly and toasty lookin. but how could they be?

anyways many props for their outdoor adventurism. i had two jackets on, a sweater, a cubs “toque”, a scarf, and gloves and i could only walk around maybe 4 blocks before i had to call bs on myself and run back to my room. but before i went up i noticed a LOT of activity at the ice rink outside. they were testing the lights and the sounds for the upcoming NYE celebration and tons of kids were skating out there in the middle of the night. and what really made me happy were two poutine trucks next to the rink. will definately hit up one of those trucks tonight.

then in my hotel all these kids were on laptops in the lobby and playing chess and playing what i will call Knee Hockey. they run around in their knees on the carpet with tiny hockey sticks slapping at plastic pucks. OH CANAADA!!!