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heres a tip i have for you and i hope you try it

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make something you love. in the past i made Lick then i made the busblog.

then use Photoshop or some graphic design software and put the name of the thing you loved next to images that have nothing to do with them,

use different fonts, party with it. experiment.

put your head on other peoples’ bodies.

then do that in video.

keep playing. play every day. forget about trying to make it good.

then all of a sudden try to make it good. but if it is bad, dont give up, it might be funny.

funny > good

know that you are working on your muscles. your brain. your fingertips.

you are creating pathways in your gray matter that will one day figure out HOW TO MAKE IT GOOD

suddenly you might have something that is good AND funny

and thats when the party really starts.

today i made a few videos for the podcast

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heres the thing

i dont like to beat people over the head with the things i make

but i do not want to be in an office job again unless all of my demands are met

and im sure they’ll say fine, just pee in a cup

and i will say but i dont wanna pee in a cup

i just want to be creative and learn things and get good at things and

make magic happen

this podcasting business is so hard because it is PAINFULLY CLEAR

that i have a long way to go and if it wasnt for Jordan i would be way back further away from the goal than i am now

like, im gonna have to get a job because we’ve done this for one month now and i dont have a lot of patreons i dont have any sponsors and we probably shouldnt count on many for at least a year

so i need to advertise

The problem is, if i advertise too much people are gonna get sick of it and me and the thing

and i want them to love it, me, and the thing.

i am madly in love with it

we’ve done 8 episodes in less than a month.

tomorrow imma write a medium post about the things i have learned in my first month of podcasting

that way i can summarize those first 8 episodes.

and in a way advertise for them

i have a few more from hollywood that we are going to roll out

and i really wanna interview this palm reader

omg forgot to tell you, my neighbors, the church, thought some hate mail was a bomb and today the bomb squad was here, and the fire dept and about 10 cops.

none of them bothered to tell us what was happening but because im mr nosybody i asked a few of them and then i texted my neighbors

turned out it was just a suspicious envelope that may have had some laundry detergent in it

but for a minute there i thought oh im gonna die from an lapd-assisted bomb explosion?

if i do die know i love you and

the memories of all the good things that have happened to me

are what fuels me every day.

i have these pictures on my wall of good things and great people ive been blessed with

and i have some spots intentionally open

bc i know good things are right around the corner

but i do need a vacation

it’s crazy what will motivate me

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if you havent noticed, im a crazy person.

im interested in so many things,

but also not interested in the things i see a lot of “successful” obsess about

things like time management and setting goals and putting things on a calendar.

i am a man with very little anxiety, and i feel a little guilty about that because as i have gotten older i have noticed how many people suffer from it in big and little ways

and yet somehow it has passed me over. thank God.

but one thing that stresses me out a tiny bit, and therefore its totally unacceptable, is having something on my calendar.

i hate it.

i want to be 100% free.

certain things i can deal with. deadlines ive never had a problem with.

we’ve gotta have shows up on mondays and thursdays. fine.

and yes i have to schedule some of the interviews because people have lives and you wanna seem professional. but still

i bet you 30% of the reason i quit having a shrink was because it totally fucked my day up by having something at 3pm on a thursday every week.

it sorta ruined thursdays because i had to think about what i wanted to say, and i couldnt book anything on those days because murphys law something would run long and screw it all up.

it was just way too much stress for the reward. which wasnt that huge of a reward, no offense to the nice lady.

but i dont have problems getting to my problems. in part because my schedule is wide open.

i am comfortable with who i am, my friendships, my self image, my place in the world.

my shrink was on me about omg you broke up with your gf that must be very hard

no. we lasted 4 years. through so much drama. and one year of COVID.

the whole time dumbass mfing trump was president.

anyone who can make it through all of that should feel like they accomplished something and i sure do.

i have no regrets. i tried everything. i did a lot. and now on the back side i cook for myself, do the dishes

AND look at how many posts i wrote for this dead blog last month. which was the point of this post.

that dumb calendar widget that i put in this blog reminds me of the days i miss.

and motivates me to have fewer of them each month.

not so i can save up for a BMW.

not so i can lose weight so Blah Blah Blah will fall in love with me.

but because i want that number to be bold and hyperlinked.

how insane is that?

i learned early early on that everyone is motivated by very odd, personal things that are often unique to them. if you can figure out what it is you can be a great aid to them.

for me, for this blog, its that dumb calendar.

right before the world ended i was interviewed

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i did it in my hallway because i still havent put many things on the walls

and it looks extra creepy.

i wore a $5 party shirt that was in the clearance rack because 4th of july had ended

but since Hear in LA launched on the 4th, i figured i should buy something to commemorate that

anyways its bad enough everyone has to listen to my voice 2x a week

but now they gotta see me too?

this podcast could really use a spokesmodel

 

do i hate everything today? yes.

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do i believe that the people on the right side of this list will do the things the left side accomplished?

no. thats not how life is.

thats not how baseball is.

thats not how anything is.

ive never seen a situation where they took all the best people, got rid of them, paid a fraction for inexperienced people and those people did just as well if not better

this is why the good book says eat the rich

put them in a stew and eat them.

eat them all.

someone was telling me the way to raise money for the podcast is instead of shaking down thousands of people for a few bucks, find one or two very rich people and work on them.

but i dont understand why if i was rich i would just give money to a weirdo and not try to influence what hes up to

are there really silent partners in the world who just trust you after all these years?

why do i think thats a fantasy?

the cubs have made so much money off the top three dudes on the left.

they just gave them away for peanuts.

my niece called me and asked me to explain wtf is going on and i told her

life is short and filled with horrible moments.

fortunately there are also really super good moments

and i asked her to tell me about her favorite one so far

and she told me about going to the movies to see the Avengers Infinity War the night before it opened

she was so happy, she said, being in a theater with all these fellow fans who loved all these characters, they were cheering when they appeared on the screen, they clapped when they said cool things.

and i said, and then what happened at the end.

the end doesn’t matter uncle tony, she told me.

i said, why not.

she said, yeah, half of the world dies, but everyone knows a sequel was coming soon.

and i said, you have just explained wtf just happened with the cubs

the xbi took my shrink away from me

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even if you dont work for them any more, they have a way of keeping agency secrets private

but for the while i was seeing her she would often talk about the wall i have around my emotions

today i was extremely sad.

after the cubs won the world series and they played their first game the next season

the team marched from under the bleachers, through a door in the ivy

to the great tune “It’s a Long Way to the Top if you Want to Rock n Roll”  from AC/DC’s first album,

holding the trophy was mr anthony rizzo

who the Cubs today traded to the Yankees for some disposable napkins

and three packets of ketchup.

sometimes you know things are going to happen but you hope the clock will run out

or you hope someone will do something heroic.

i dont know if you know me very well but the cubs are my favorite thing.

more than blogging, more than fighting crime, more than rock music.

if i lived in chicago i would figure out a way to go to as many games as i could

like, id probably sell hot dogs or something at wrigley in the summer

and sell weed to cops in the winter.

so today was heartbreaking in so many different ways

and yes i did cry.

which i never do.

people may take this the wrong way but i felt in some ways

like i did january 6

when the beautiful girl left for good.

this has been quite a year and before this week is over maybe more of my favorite cubs

will be gone to teams they should not be playing for.

it ruined all the plans i had today, all the productivity, everything.

fortunately two things happened:

i was interviewed on a new app and i believe i killed it.

in part because it happened before the trade.

and then after the trade i went for a little walk and ran into this old guy from the market

who never knows my name even though he asks it of me every time im in the store.

his name is george.

recently ive been saying, my name is george, which makes the cashier laugh

because usually it’s george with the yucks.

george was jaywalking with a bunch of boxes

and when he was half way across the street he said

tony

and i said, george, lemme help you with those boxes

and we walked a few blocks with them and i asked him who the first president he voted for was

and he said LBJ

and i asked do you regret that now?

and he said, why should i, I love medicare.

which i never knew was an LBJ thing, but turns out it was.

then i said hi to the new fortune teller on the block, Lola

who says she wants to be on my podcast

and then i had a sample of some vegan ice cream which was good

until the aftertaste kicked in

and i promised myself i would drink a can of Old Style to honor #44

but i dont drink alone.

then a wonderful woman, a beautiful young woman who interviews people for a living

told me that she has heard all of my podcasts and she said

“you are the greatest interviewer.”

and she wants to help me make money on that thing.

and i wanna make money on that thing too.

and then joe biden sent me an obama phone in the mail.

free phone, i just have to turn it on.

but with what energy, phone?

my light is gone.