the xbi took my shrink away from me

even if you dont work for them any more, they have a way of keeping agency secrets private
but for the while i was seeing her she would often talk about the wall i have around my emotions
today i was extremely sad.
after the cubs won the world series and they played their first game the next season
the team marched from under the bleachers, through a door in the ivy
to the great tune “It’s a Long Way to the Top if you Want to Rock n Roll” from AC/DC’s first album,
holding the trophy was mr anthony rizzo
who the Cubs today traded to the Yankees for some disposable napkins
and three packets of ketchup.
sometimes you know things are going to happen but you hope the clock will run out
or you hope someone will do something heroic.
i dont know if you know me very well but the cubs are my favorite thing.
more than blogging, more than fighting crime, more than rock music.
if i lived in chicago i would figure out a way to go to as many games as i could
like, id probably sell hot dogs or something at wrigley in the summer
and sell weed to cops in the winter.
so today was heartbreaking in so many different ways
and yes i did cry.
which i never do.
people may take this the wrong way but i felt in some ways
like i did january 6
when the beautiful girl left for good.
this has been quite a year and before this week is over maybe more of my favorite cubs
will be gone to teams they should not be playing for.

it ruined all the plans i had today, all the productivity, everything.
fortunately two things happened:
i was interviewed on a new app and i believe i killed it.
in part because it happened before the trade.
and then after the trade i went for a little walk and ran into this old guy from the market
who never knows my name even though he asks it of me every time im in the store.
his name is george.
recently ive been saying, my name is george, which makes the cashier laugh
because usually it’s george with the yucks.
george was jaywalking with a bunch of boxes
and when he was half way across the street he said
tony
and i said, george, lemme help you with those boxes
and we walked a few blocks with them and i asked him who the first president he voted for was
and he said LBJ
and i asked do you regret that now?
and he said, why should i, I love medicare.
which i never knew was an LBJ thing, but turns out it was.
then i said hi to the new fortune teller on the block, Lola
who says she wants to be on my podcast
and then i had a sample of some vegan ice cream which was good
until the aftertaste kicked in
and i promised myself i would drink a can of Old Style to honor #44
but i dont drink alone.
then a wonderful woman, a beautiful young woman who interviews people for a living
told me that she has heard all of my podcasts and she said
“you are the greatest interviewer.”
and she wants to help me make money on that thing.
and i wanna make money on that thing too.
and then joe biden sent me an obama phone in the mail.
free phone, i just have to turn it on.
but with what energy, phone?
my light is gone.

Protected: page five
Protected: page four
The great Colin Marshall interviewed me 9 years ago
on his great podcast
today he is putting all of those interviews on YouTube
i remember feeling a bit nervous when this came out because i was keeping it a little more real than I thought my bosses would be comfortable with
Protected: page three
cubs game was amazing today

the beautiful julie van maldegaim sent me a three ring binder of all the letters i wrote her in high school
she had been keeping them all these years.
it’s a tiny bit cringey reading them because allllllll i talked about was the cubs
so im a little gunshy right now saying todays game was the best, most exciting one all season
which couldnta come at a more important time because cub fans are very nervous
because theyre gonna trade some of our favorite players, probably
even though they dont really have to
it’s just cheaper for them if they trade them right before their contract expires
that way they can get some young players out of the deal
otherwise they just lose them unless they pay market value.
the market value for the three guys whose contracts are expiring are about $20-$25million a year and most of them want 4-5 year contracts. So $400 million to keep them all
WHICH THEY SHOULD TOTALLY DO BECAUSE
- these players helped them win the world series
- are beautiful wonderful men of honor and professionalism
- are beloved by every single fan
- the owners can afford it because theyve built up all around the park including a swanky hotel, and all of it is bringing in major revenue in part because of these men
- for the last 4 years they haven’t had to pay very much at all for these guys
- the Cubs have a chance to lead the league in Coolness
in conclusion i am very sad i didnt grow into a gazillionaire
Protected: page two
dont worry what they think of you

griffith j griffth, benefactor of griffith park was a terrible man
unless you think shooting your wife in the face is ok
all of santa monica hated him for that because she was the prettiest woman in the entire city
which is saying something because hoooo boy.
even back then.
griffith j went to jail for that. san quentin.
even though he used a defense that is no longer legal to even utter
your honor my client was totally drunk at the time.
didnt work for griffith j, and it aint gonna work for you.
weirdest part was, his lawyer, the one who tried that nonsense
had to do whatever he could because the prosecutor was the former governor of california
true story
drunk ass griffith j griffith wasnt even from the golden state
he was a former journalist from colorado who learned about alternatives during
the great gold rush
hauled ass down to mexico where he “found” a copper mine
mined the shit out of it and bought damn near all of the hollywood hills, los feliz
and a big ass house to annoy his hot wife.
like most angelenos, griffith was a transplant who spent money on things like mountains
which were totally impractical back then because you couldnt grow any fruits or vegetables up there
and they were filthy with wild animals who were just as dangerous as a newly rich coloradan with a gun and a bottle of jd.
earl rogers was his name
who
his lawyer.
was so good and so famous that they would later make a hit tv show after him
perry mason
why perry mason?
because earl rogers was from perry new york.
look it up for all i care.
earl had many famous cases including the one of clarence darrow that you might have heard of.
darrow was also a lawyer but he was accused of bribing a member of the jury during a very famous case, the one where these guys were being accused of blowing up the LA Times building which killed 21 people.
earl won, darrow went free and then was accused shortly thereafter of bribing another juror in that same case. earl won again.
but my favorite victory of his was he defended a man accused of murdering his wife and won by asking the jury to think of their own spouses. really think about them. and the jury said yeah not guilty.
afterwards his client wanted to hug him and earl rogers said, “get away from me you slimy pimp, you’re as guilty as hell and you know it.”
which is exactly why you should never worry what people think of you
history will forget almost everything
the only person anyone remembers out of this entire fascinating tale is
perry freaking mason
the fictional version of the late earl rogers who ran all of los angeles for a little while when the mayor got thrown in jail
but earl just doesnt sound as cool in an ozzy osbourne song
its almost 7am. still not sleepy

it’s because i had to force myself to wake up to get to Venice for a TWO PM interview.
how will i ever make it through the next 50 years of my life?
when i got there we had a 3 hour conversation that wore me out. not because he wasnt great, he was, we talked religion, music, rent control, he played a tenor sax for me. we talked about reeds and mouth pieces. food.
afterwards i walked along the boardwalk and talked with German in Venice.
i wanted good food but didnt find any that wasnt obscenely priced.
ended up at a Del Taco drive thru. my bill was $10 but they didnt take plastic bc their machine was broke
so they said, how much cash you got. i said $8. They said fine.
also gave me a really large straw, loved it.
when i got home i was exhausted and had a headache. COVID? i had touched a lot of people this week hanging will all my friends. hugs. shook hands 2x today.
so i took a nap. it turned into a very long one. at 1am i woke up and now im screwed. my body doesnt like long naps and loves to punish me for them.
i was awake when the paper arrived and i read this article that the majority of Black people in LA are not vaccinated. so i tweeted out to
that we need to do something. concerts? bbqs? raffles just for black folk? free movie tickets? i dont know. but this is crazy.