our favorite howard stern sidekick, big fat drunk artie lange was back on the show this morning and all was well in the world again.

heres the wrap up by the Stern Fan Network:

Artie was came to work clean shaven. Howard said he honestly didn’t think artie would be back. Artie takes full responsibility and apologizes to Howard, Teddie, Sirius, & the fans.

Artie explains that even though he has some money issues with Teddy, he is not stealing from him. He’s an honest good kid. he said please don’t quit your job.

Howard apologizes for pulling the replay and explains he was worried about Artie. He didn’t know if he was suicidal and was concerned that it might either send Artie into a rage or into deep depression. Artie says, thank you and admits he was on the edge.

Artie said for the first time he realized he really is part of a family. He received many calls from every level of the show & Sirius with genuine concern. Robin was surprised it took him this long to see this.

Artie OK’s replaying the audio & the Howard TV footage. The Howard TV website says the footage will be on tonight at midnight and the 4-10-08 show will air on Sirius this weekend.

Howard & Robins said how they don’t believe there will be any more chances. Artie confirmed this. Artie had a series of meetings with Sirius higher ups. Both Howard & Robin said they spoke to the higherups as well and they weren’t happy.

Artie thanks Howard for letting be a part of the show. Howard said his fans are such a bunch of fuckheads. This was directed at all of the complaining about pulling the replay & accusations that it was all a bit.

Artie said he made an appointment with the shrink. Artie is going to find a professional assistant & Teddy can carry on as the road guy. They will continue to work together, it will just be different.

From most anticipated to most anticlimactic first segment. Within the first hour they were already playing clips, talking about the Pope, Robin’s dress, & Riley’s contract, and had a guest in right after the first break. Fans seem disappointed expecting more details of what all happened but back up, did I mention Artie is back on the show? it’s a good day.

If you were disappointed that they didn’t go into it more, a woman called in and gave Howard a hard time for wrapping up the Artie discussion so quickly. it got them back on it.

Gary says he’s mad at Artie for not seeing how good his life is with the show, the gigs, and his family. Fred says Artie really needs to seek some help. Artie says he’s absolutely right and admitted that he’s been running away from therapy his whole life.

Teddy said that for the good of the show he wants to leave. Howard & Artie told him no way. He didn’t do anything wrong and should stay.

artie sounded alert, rested, and had good tales to tell about his trip to Amsterdam. lets hope this changes his life for the better.

is fixin to come out with a whole mess of tom waits cover songs. the first cut will be the title track of “anywhere i lay my head” and whaddya know, its been leaked to the interwebs!

when tom waits heard about the project late last year he was soon interviewed by Pitchfork.

Pitchfork: I’m sure you know Scarlett Johannson is recording an album of your songs?

Tom Waits: Well no, I read about it in the paper.

Pitchfork: No one consulted you beforehand?

Tom Waits: No, no. But, you know, more power to her.

Pitchfork: Are you excited to hear it?

Tom Waits: I don’t know if I’m excited to hear it, but I’m curious. People make songs so that somebody else will hear them and want to do them. I guess it’s an indication that the songs aren’t so ultra-personal that they can’t possibly be interpreted by anyone else. I’ve seen her in movies. I don’t know what she’s going to do with the tunes. When you get a hold of somebody else’s song, you make it your own. That’s all you can do. And that usually requires a certain amount of tailoring. Cut the sleeves off, lay some buttons. Everybody does something different to a song, that’s the tradition.

even though what follows isnt the official video, its a good start and you also get to hear what it all sounds like.

now i dont know about you, but one of the best parts of singing a tom waits song is to get the chance to mimic that crazy homeless drunken sailor style. little miss underpants seems to wanna take all the fun out of it.

lets hope she really goes for it on the rest of the record.

he rested up in palm springs and while he was out celebs came in to fill in for him. the best of course being mr bill murray who in this clip insulted the expos, canada, the canadian national anthem, and even the batting practice pitcher

Murray also mentions Pittsfield Mass – home of our very own Tomdog whose birthday it is today. hi Tomdog! happy birthday bro!

this clip is from April 17, 1987, nearly 21 years ago today exactly. and still as fresh.

and (further) proof that anyone was better than steve stone.

almost every sunday i listen to the velvet underground single “sunday morning“. if i had an alarm clock that would wake me up on sunday with a song, that would be the one. but of course i havent had an alarm clock wake me up for years, because God loves me. and of course no one needs an alarm clock to wake you up on sundays.

which is why the sunday morning mp3 alarm clock would be so rad.

maybe it should be shaped like a soup can.

anyways i have always loved warhol, maybe because he shares my libran ideals of beauty art music and fashion. and also the contrast of hyperproduction to stave off the constant belief that we’re being lazy fuckers. mixed with the belief that all conventions should be rallied against and reinvented.

i think warhol would have adored blogging. the idea of it more than actually doing it. but i think his blog(s) would have been amazing.

i also think if he was 20something right now he would have seduced raymi to move to newyork so he could make her more of a superstar than she already is.

raymi was on fire this week, fyi. mary kate olsen day was tremendous fyi, and fil’s photos of raymi last week were amazing as well (some nsfw)

heres some videos to celebrate this fascinating day

alison stewart, then of ABC News trying to pretend she didnt know what 420 was

price is right contestant repeatedly bidding $420

last year’s 420 celebration at 4:20pm at uc santa cruz (the most beautiful campus ever)

barack obama talking about US drug policy, hints that its racist and too hard on non violent crimes – 9/29/07

monday and tuesday kanye west rihanna n.e.r.d. and lupe fiasco are playing at the nokia live right next door to staples center. im pretty sure im going to one of those shows cuz kanye is the man and rihannas my girlfriend

wednesday janes addiction is reuniting for the first time with the original members since 1991. not only am i pretty sure im going to that but i might even get to interview perry and maybe a few of the others as well.

thursday filter is having a suprise party in the desert. free booze, food, lakeside views, hijinks etc.

friday coachella day one starring the breeders, sharon jones and the dap kings, les savy fav, spank rock, redd kross, black kids, cut copy, datarock and others

saturday coachella day two starring dwight yoakam, m.i.a., hot chip, kate nash, malkmus and the jicks, flogging molly, st. vincent, and a little purple dude named Prince

sunday coachella finale starring perry farrell, kid sister, the cool kids, holy fuck, autolux, gogol bordello, and roger waters doing darkside.

monday theres a band plaing in IV

tuesday theres no music on the schedule. lets try to keep it that way.

wednesday Duffy is playing at the fox lot and i hear shes a blonde amy winehouse.

so yes maybe i should just sleep as much as i can today, sunday, and prepare for the onslaught of the senses.

got all these bukowski books off ebay. four “new” ones. as in they werent published when he was alive and could call bullshit on em. fucker wrote his ass off because lots of these poems are good.

before i told you what i learned from reading some of his post humorous work while taking a dump i will tell you one of my favorite ebay search terms. why? because the only guarantee in life is death.

“bukowski lot“

for some reason people are lazy. and when they are lazy on ebay they feel the urge to sell off a “lot” of shit. so if you put “bukowski lot” or “vonnegut lot” or “twain lot” you might find yourself getting quite a bargain because most people dont really want 4-10 books all at once.

anyways because all the bad bukowski movies have come and gone all the fakers who pretended to like bro have also come and gone, meaning that when “The People Look Like Flowers at Last”, “Come On In”, “Slouching Toward Nirvana”, and “Pleasures Of The Damned” were sold as a lot on ebay with a Buy it Now of $30, of course I would take it cuz who wouldnt buy ANY bukowski book in new condition for $8.50 each including shipping? duh.

reading buks poems reminded me that writers write. and then they die. they live, they drink, they fuck, they write it all down, then they die. everyone dies. no one has figured out how to play Defender off one quarter forever. theres always a Game Over.

therefore you really should do all the drinking fucking living and writing that you can. you really shouldnt let anything distract you from your goals of life. and the best way to reach those goals is to write them down. hide em on a secret blog if you want. print em out and post them next to your outhouse mirror if you want but every day you should look at them.

manager of the cubs

director of fine films

writer of sweet ass blog posts

destroyer of evil thoughts

successful jumper of the snake river

dunkmaster general

chef of boyardi

whatever your goals are writem down. whatever your dreams are. whatever your hopes are. whatever your needs are. whatever your whatevers are. it all starts with a start. it all starts with spark.

maybe the spark for your life is knowing for the first time as in fer real that one day there wont be a spark in your life. that one day you will die just like everyone who ever lived and all that will be left will be whatever you left.

and what i have to give to the living are these blog posts

and photos which were given to me by the rest of you.

all of whom will be dead too one day

just like bukowski

and just like the burrito i just ate and shat out.

amen.

throw out the first pitch yesterday at Wrigley?

why yes i did! thank you TiVo. and thank you WGN and whoever put this up on the interwebs cuz now we can all enjoy it over and over again.

mostly because not only was it a great throw, but girlfriend did it in heels.

is there anything marisa cant do?

zona wants to know: comin’ to Van this summer?

it all depends on my job. i work for the greatest boss ever. i have the most ideal job of all. and one of the best parts about it is that they could just as easily say one day “we need you to go to iraq to help our bloggers there” as they could say “we need you to speak at this panel in vancity, and then kiss some girls”. this summer i really wanted to go to chicago to see the cubs and nyc to see a game at the house that ruth built before it gets demolished, but i always have love for bc so you never know.

Michael (aka Azreal Darkskies) axes: What’s your favourite marijuana delivery device?

from the lips of a canadian woman at a concert after she taps me on the shoulder. but since i havent touched the stuff in quite a while id have to say – vicariously through others.

Suzie asks: What are you going to do when my sweet ass arrives on your door step???? 😛

probably be shocked because i thought the deal was i was supposed to pick you up at the airport!

the lovely panajane cuts right to the chase with: Boxers or briefs? Hoodies or sweaters? The Velvet Underground or Iggy Pop and the Stooges? Dogs or cats? Cowboy or reverse cowboy?

the first of all except the last.