they caught me and made a sign

i have a good life.

it’s not the life i expected to have, but in some ways thats what makes it especially interesting.

i dont have a house or a kid or a wife or terrible debts

i can sleep in as long as i want

i dont have to drive anyone to school.

thanks to my sister and her husband, there are little people who look like me.

and thanks to rent control i will probably live in this hollywood bachelor pad for the rest of my days.

likewise, thanks to this blog i have a girlfriend who loves me who makes me nice foods and dresses up in outrageous costumes which i would love to share with you but some things

i suppose

should be left in the private domain.

i write these things not to brag but mostly to remind myself when i drive past mini mansions or see kids playing ball or watch three girls kiss a pizza delivery guy on my laptop: everyone is having a good time, enjoy your brand of happiness. and by you i mean you tony.

last night amber and i had sushi over looking a sunset on sunset blvd. it was happy hour so we ordered all the things we wanted and drank all the sodas and teas and tonight she will fly to nyc and get a little vacation from me.

which trust me is necessary because i am a demanding bossy hyper critical boyfriend sometimes due to, astrologers claim, is my rising star, which is asshole.

i have a reliable car, incredibly fast internet speed, and i follow a baseball team who could use one more starter, but what else is now.

excuse me as i must detangle my cats from each other, an action which i hope is the toughest one i will have all day.

do i have a perfect life? no.

is this the life i thought i would have?

is my savings account what it should be?

am i driving the car i ever imagined i would be?

do i look like how i predicted?

do people view me the way i hope they would?

is this world the way i hope it would be?

is this country, this city, this block the way i thought it would be?

no no no no no.

but in some ways it’s way better than i could ever have imagined.

for example my internet speed at home is like 300+ MBs

alllll the time.

i can listen to any recording Miles Davis ever laid down just by saying Hey Siri fuck me up with Miles Davis

i can walk a mile in any direction and eat the best thai mexican or vegan food for less than an hours wages.

i am in excellent health. my Cubs are going to win the World Series again.

and my mom is a phone call away.

this is how i count my blessings after being dragged down into the murky dark depths of twitter each morning.