who doesnt love
my mom is a single mom so i understand how hard it can be
youve gotta be the mom, dad, police chief, priest, fireman, referee, cook, maid, role model, authority figure, saint, provider, and shoulder to cry on.
it’s a lot.
im sure its gonna be different for drew than for my mom but it’ll still be hard.
which is why i volunteer as tribute to be her new man.
have i loved her forever? pretty much.
would i make a great dad? next question please.
would i ever cheat on her or make her mad or even fight with her? never.
would i take the kids to their sporting events and ballet and acting classes and karate classes and tennis lessons and jet pack lessons and Color Me Mine classes? duh, im an uber driver, i do all that crap now.
would i demand that she take my name? As smoothly as Drew I. LaVista rolls off the tongue, no. She’s still got a brand to uphold.
would i suggest a hyphen? i dont like hyphens unless youre latin.
would i change my name to Tony Barrymore?
i would do anything that Drew wishes.
even though that sounds like a porno gangster guy from Vegas by way of Chicago.
will i pray for her tonight that she isn’t despondent and completely heartbroken?
yes. def. of course. duh.
if i was drew id buy the old spaghetti factory on sunset
re-open it, and make it cool.
then she got to talk to me on the phone again.
then she got to go to the hollywood premiere of the new drew + adam sandler movie and see all the stars.
then drew’s assistant recognized her and offered her two tickets to the premiere, but because she had her bf and her best friend with her she needed three tickets so the assistant hooked her ass up with three tickets at the theatre next door and she got to see the movie and omg omg omg she had a great night
so she called me and left me a message and apologized for being a pain in the ass and i said it was cool and then she put her best friend on the phone and i offered to guess her weight in my own special way and her best friend didnt say no.
best friends never do.
anyway, im glad ashley had a great day. im glad she got to see her idol and the new flick and if somehow she reads this im glad that she got her picture back here on the busblog.
her luck just doesnt end.
hopefully the rumors of her favorite band’s breakup arent true.
i hope your day is peachy today.
how was your yesterday, drew? mine was so pleasant i dont even know where to start. first let me say, that it is weird talking about good luck. when i was in college it was so easy to write sad stories and sad poems and tragedies and woe-is-me stuff and i suppose i thought that that was what good writing was all about.
but it’s not.
anyone can write a tragedy. anyone can build up a likeable character and make his life shit.
but to write about fun and love and friendships and happiness, and to do it in a way that isn’t dull and sappy and boastful and ridiculous is a tougher trick than you’d think, and if you dont believe me, look through the racks of Hallmark one day – closely – or flip through the movie section of the paper: the kids cant write a nice happy story to save their lives. which is one reason that i love Drew so much, because her sweet stories have never missed, in my humble opinion, especially The Wedding Singer, which is my favorite of hers, and Ever After, which comes in a close second.
this is the blog of an average man. i was walking from the oceanside loft of my former girlfriend this morning counting my lucky stars and thinking that my life could be better, but not much, and the lesson to you, dear reader, is anything nice that you find in these pages could be yours all yours because most of this fell in my lap – i didnt work at this, i didnt earn it, and Lord knows, I dont deserve it.
last night she made us stirfry as we watched the skating upset and we drank beers and smoked and i fell asleep in her lap after the gold medalist did her thing and she tried to wake me before Michelle Kwan took the ice, but im old, i was out.
last night we flipped between the Lakers and Frontline and the Olympics, but couldnt stay away from “The Glutton Bowl,” probably the most disgusting and wonderfully funny show I have seen this season.
The biggest eaters in America were given three minutes to eat the most hamburgers, hotdogs, sushi, mayonaise, butter, and beef tounge. The semi-finals had the men eat cow balls. Then for the finals they ate cow brains.
plates and plates of brains.
the young Japanese man who won the competetition was deemed by the hilarious announcers as “the Greatest Athelete in the World,” rightfully.
although i might be a close second for keeping my stir-fry down.
anyhow it’s beautiful here in los angeles today and im happy and i hope you are too and i am very honored that you have chosen to read this today and i hope that you have an incredible weekend and all your birthday wishes come true.
p.s. i just bit into my morning chocolate chip muffin and one of my fillings fell out, leaving me with a very sharp stump in the back of my mouth, so maybe i am not the luckiest man alive after all, but perhaps only now, sadly, in the top ten.
told you it’s easy to write tragedy.