amber wanted to go to the movies so we went to the movies

traffic was bad, issues occurred, it was crowded, but the thing was i was comfortable


because i was dressed up as a guy in his pajamas and robe and slippers who was with a sexy lady.

amber was the sexy lady.

she had a slinky dress, clear heels, and this fuzz faux fur i got her in vegas.

we went to universal city walk because amber suspected that people would be dressed up there

and she was right.

and there were kids, some of whom did not speak english or who were scared of me

because i also smelled like i had gotten high in the car upon entering the joint

which may or may not be extremely true

we were early so we had time to stroll about and we passed this michael myers guy

and then the super cheesy angel wings that have been all around the city for years now

so of course they have one at this tourist trap

and i saw michael was just roaming around so i circled back

and asked him if he would pose for a picture

he grunted. walked over to it. waited his turn. and click.

and when i asked him if he wanted me to text him a copy

he just fist bumped me.

and they were haggard



then he was gone into the shadows.


dear canadah

you know i love you, right? you know i think of you fondly whenever hockey season starts – when does it start, btw?

you know i love your rock stars and values and party mentalities. i love your cabins and your poutine, and all of your kickass bloggers.

well, last night i met the 2008 playboy playmate of the year and shes from a tiny town north of TO and shes in her early 20s and looks younger, she has a tattoo right above her yahoo and it says Respect. in goth. and i love her almost as much as i love you.

i was at the mansion for their annual haunted house. i dont know why. maybe they liked my scary mask. anyways i got to meet a half dozen playmates and i got to interview them. i even got to interview 2/3s of the girls next door and mr hefner himself.

i learned a lot about the change of seasons at the mansion, including the fact that hef not only has two new girlfriends who are twins (one is named karissa), but he has two more, cuz why not?

they had the whole mansion decked out with crazy lights and scary monsters and look someone dressed up like amy winehouse!

they had funny tombstones everywhere. crazy crashing sounds. and a killer haunted house.

i got to interview pretty much anyone i wanted. everyone was super nice and funny.

but, friends, when i got to interview hef, hero to all men, i swallowed my tongue, so to speak, i froze up, i got cold feet, i saw the legend and i was blinded.

i may have access now to some legendary people and places. even more than ever before. but i have a lot to learn about being a good reporter, especially on video. but if you will be patient with me i promise to learn from these mistakes and kick ass next time.

reporting from heaven, tony