tons of uncertainty. financial pressures. emotional intensities. and now there are fleas in the house no matter what we do.

we bombed the place. we gave the cats meds. we even took them to a pet hotel the other day so the flea bomb dust could settle. when i brought the girl cat in from the car to the apartment she pissed herself in her cage. soaking herself. how that much pee was in one little cat is amazing.

then they slept for an entire day.

jeanine just called. drunk. i dont know what to do about her. she has had a very tough life. very tough. then a year ago her new husband died. it sent her down a terrible spiral. so many of us went out to Las Vegas to visit her and give her everything we could. our good friend barney even went out there and spent a week with her and finally drove her 8 hours to go to rehab.

but here she is drinking again. you can see why if you ever visit her. the apartment is like a memorial to her dearly departed. his stuff is everywhere. memories are literally wall-to-wall. she says she hates vegas, so i say move. she says she will never get rent as cheap as she has it there.

i disagree. sure rent in vegas is cheaper than it is in LA, but anything is cheaper than it is in LA. yesterday my man Roy was telling me about properties in Joshua Tree that a friend of his has that are empty because they are meant to be Air BnBs. I told her that she should consider JT where she could work, do jewelry and maybe even work at a restaurant and cook — shes probably the best cook ever.

but instead she drinks. and drinks.

what can i do? i can pray i guess. i will pray.

maui to be precise.

we had no money. we were fresh out of college. i had lost my job working at Sears!

little did i know but i would soon be hired by Philips/Magnavox to train all the electronic salespeople – including Sears – how to sell our fine line of personal electronics and televisions.

but we had this vacation planned so we went off and did it and it was fascinating because neither of us had been to maui before and we were in love and love tames the wild beast or something

even back then, when i go on vacation i dont wanna do shit, but jeanine was so full of life, she was all, LETS DRIVE UP THAT VOLCANO AND WATCH THE SUN RISE

i was like fuck that!

she said THERES COWS UP THERE!

i was like, girl i grew up in the midwest, you dont think ive seen a cow before?

and we got up early, drove up mount halakalahalaha saw the damn cows, cows saw us

we kept driving. it was cold, then windy, and then the sun came up and i took this picture.

when i first met her she kept all that beautiful hair in front of her face.

she was hiding.

we went on 3 very bad dates. and i gave up. then one day it rained and i asked her to come over and teach me to play the guitar. and when she did, she lit up from the inside and no longer was she hidden.

cheesy as it sounds, i saw her heart. and it was beautiful. much like that picture.

a lot has come and gone since we climbed up that hawaiian volcano.

but one thing remains is her beautiful heart.

today i talked to her on the phone to offer my condolences because her husband had tragically died.

and as we talked about certain things she fluttered from being sad to being very sad.

but every now and then we said something that was funny.

i have no idea how to help people during times like what jeanine has just experienced

or some of the tragedies she has had to endure during her life.

life is not fair. at all. and sometimes it’s least fair to the sweetest people you ever met.

you just have to hope that at the end of this darkness

just around the bend

theres a new chapter waiting to unfold.

with shit loads of joy drizzled all around it.

people say you shouldnt jinx things by talking about things but do those people even understand how jinxing works?

if you can jinx something for the bad, shouldnt you, by the transitive law of geometry, be able to jinx something for the good?

and if so, why isnt everyone all the time jinxing junk for the good?

they’re not. also theyre not jinxing it for the bad either.

the girl will soon be moving to sin city where she will be sleeping on a bed for the first time, regularly, in over a year. i am very proud of her. she has taken on things that i dont think i could have.

i was not the best roommate. i was messy and she cleaned. i was loud, but she slept. i wasnt the most supportive after a while, yet she keeped on moving forward.

theres very very very few people i could have been as patient as i was with, but jeanine has a heart of gold and she knows i have her best interest at heart and everyone knows that its rare to have very close friends who are so close that you could do something like this with.

am i glad she’s moving to vegas? of course. the raiders will be moving there soon and this will cut down on all the hotel expenses i was planning on accruing.

and the way i see it, i get dibs on her couch for at least a few home stands.

but as they say the deal isnt finalized so keep the good thoughts brewing

and if youre any good at positive jinxes, jinx away, for good.

our darling jeanine moved to buelton to film sideways 2 and because she misses LA she has been down here twice in three weeks and last night we went to the wiltern and saw the raconteurs and it was entirely delightful.

i write a lot about some of my xgirlfriends and i dont know why i dont write more about jeanine, we’ve always been very close and pretty much gotten along perfectly for a very long time.

after the show, she came back to my house to tune my guitar and teach me a power chord and i gave her a book and this afternoon she called to tell me that she read it in two hours she loved it so much. dan fantes chump change. fucking love dan fante. i hear his pappy wrote some too, but i havent read any.

anyways only jeanine could cut half of her hair off and look even better. i shoulda taken some pictures but i dont even have pics of jack white or billy gibbons.

at the show i also saw alecia from looklook with her dude sitting on one of the plush staircases at the wiltern as jeanine and i were walking up to the upstairs bar. i miss looklook. looklook was the first hint that the Lord wanted me to know that being laid off from E! was the first step on a beautiful path of a better future. much love to looklook.

something about living up in beulton has totally mellowed jeanine out and im telling you she looks super good. she befriended like twenty people all around us as we were rocking out to the bands. it was funny. we decided that shes going to help me throw all my crap out of my house and redecorate my bedroom. like do something for example with the twenty pillows, as well as the bicycle that is currently an excellent pants hanger.

yesterday me and the pants went to the apple store and the dude did a few things to my iPod and he said do you mind if you lose everything thats on here and i said nope, and then basically threw it over his shoulder, snapped his fingers and poof a new one appeared and he gave it to me.

i said is that it?

he said, just sign here.

and i just got done uploading 50 gigs into it and you have to admit, these are pretty sweet times when you can upload 50 gigs of anything into something the size of a deck of cards.

however it is mighty troubling how prone to fuckups these iPods are.