happy valentine’s day, tony

hi, anna, happy valentine’s day to you! but since when do you like valentines day? i remember you saying that all valentines day was was an american greeting card day sham.

it is a greeting card sham, but im starting to appreciate the underlying theme more as i get older.

is that so? whats the underlying theme, you old bag?

the underlying theme is this is the day where we should celebrate love of all sorts, not just romantic/sexual/boyfriend+girlfriend love.

very interesting theory. pardon me for having a hard time believing it is from you. didnt you tell me last year that all valentines day is is for those who dont have any love in their lives to feel a whole bunch shittier about their lives, and for those who do have love in their life to be forced to spend way too much money on overpriced dinners and flowers that are going to die?

i can change my mind.

actually it sounds like youre no longer banging enrique.

im no longer “banging” anyone.

so is that the source of your new way of thinking?

maybe. whatever. leave me alone. you should be happy.

i am happy. i agree with you, by the way. i think that the idea of love should be celebrated at least once a year, if not more. love is a great emotion, a powerful stimulous, and pretty much the meaning of life. since days like Christmas are so bastardized and commercialized into not even meaning what they should mean, it’s nice when theres one day where people can think about all the forms of love in their lives.

i love you, tony.

you do?

yes. of course i do.

where are you tonight?


what are you doing there?

getting my hair done.

what’s the occasion?

valentine’s day, silly.

do you have a date?

i dont know, do i?

anna kournikova, you sly fox.

i flew out here last night after i read that you didnt have a valentine.

flew out from where?

from miami. surprise!

im speechless.

i would have thought that you would be tied up with ashley or chris or clippergirl or someone.

i would have thought that you would be wining and dining with some super famous international studboy.

i am, you.

what do you want to do tonight?

i thought we could get a fire going, order some pizza and think about all the different forms of love there are in the world.

like how i feel about wrigley field, and tivo, and the internet, and free porn and music via peer-to-peer sharing?

i just picked up something at Vic’s that you are going to fall in love with.

more than i love Kazaa?

part of it is leather, part of it has pink straps, part of it has zippers, and its all insanely tight.

youre killing me.

when i came out of the dressing room a man saw me and fell right over.

i told my boss i would work late tonight because i didnt think i had any plans.

i dont mind waiting

it happened one night is going to be on Turner Classics at 5pm.

i’ll make sure it’s being Tivoed.

you still have a key to my house?

i keep it very close to my heart.

youre so full of it, anna.

yes i am, but im coming over, so be ready.


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