there might have even been a time when id find a nitrous balloon in my hand. in fact there may have been a few days of my life when there was a whole tank of nitrous in our victorian on haight street and

back in those days sometimes youd wake up with a pretty girl next to you and lets say you liked her ok but not amazingly but ok and lets say that you two drank a lot the night before and smoked a lot the night before and then played a little game called im going to fuck the fuck out of you no im gonna fuck the fuck outta you.

and there it is the morning and its there might as well go for it.

even though youre tired. and sore. and wobbly. and the new king of fuck.

the same logic would be in order if you walked down the stairs and saw a five foot tank of laughing gas standing innocently next to a passed out hippie.

passed out on the floor.

with just one birkenstock on.

you lift the tank quietly to see how heavy it is and magically its still somewhat heavy.

so you find an unused balloon and you turn the dial and watch the hippie during the shockingly loud hissing of the tank unloading its loveliness into an eighteen inch rubber balloon.

maybe it was the loss of fluids from the night before or the wakingness and bakiness of it but that one morning when i went downstairs and saw that tank and did a balloon first thing, i got sucked into a different dimension. a vortex of wasted.

but at the other end of the tunnel was j mascis shredding in dinosaur jrs best single in the last ten years. and haunting. and amazing. and creepy.

i know youre out there.

it was eighty seven degrees here today and when i woke up at noon karisa caught me on im and said you better go outside today and i said but i went outside yesterday

i took her advice and went to the glendale mall and fell in love with two girls and gave my number to a third