the other day a satellite radio network suspended two alleged shock jocks for being too crazy on uncensored radio.

gasoline is approaching $4 a gallon while theres a president in office whose family made their fortune in oil and yet their arent any torches outside the gates

and yet my life is stranger than all of that.

218pm

lunch with a girl named Rim.

had a sidekick that kept bleeping. ba-leep. ba-leep.

i was all baby im going to put my hand on your knee

and each time that fucking thing goes off my hand is going to go up your leg.

ba-leep.

she said if i turn it off it will look like i am offline.

ba-leep ba-leep.

huge fake tits, makeup on flawless twentynothing skin, and perfume that smelled

ba-leep.

i was all what happens if it looks like youre offline

she said they will think someone is killing me.

ba-leep.

long legs.

i said why dont you just put up an away message

ba-leep.

she said i have it up, those are messages people are leaving me

ba-leep.

i said in about two minutes youre gonna have to change that message, whatever it is.