a year ago today the xbi sent their final offer

from minnesoda to LAX disguised as a six foot tall 21 yr old with a suitcase full of summer dresses and bikini bottoms.

it just so happened that i was supposed to be in santa barbara that night to pick up some tye dyes so we drove up the coast and i got her drunk in the woods and i looked her in the eyes and said

you are getting very sleepy.

and she said but im already very sleepy.

and i said im going to play some strange music for you. its of the rock band tsar.

and she said but i already know all of the works of this band, for i am a huge fan of your blog.

and i said thats a banana in my pants, dont mind that.

she seemed to really enjoy santa barbara and we drove back down to hollywood and i showed her the hot tub and she slipped into some boy shorts which got their name apparently because when you first see them you go


i was sick that weekend from an illness that i had gotten making out with the texas roller girls months and months before that. plus, little did i know, but i was super stressed out at work and i was vomiting every day and sometimes there was blood in the vomit.

the xbi knew.

and they wanted me back.

and even the neighbors knew that something dramatic was going to happen because you dont really puke blood for months and just continue that sort of behavior.

so the xbi sent the prettiest smartest longest legged college girl that they knew who enjoyed a stiff drink and strangely enough the busblog

and the next day we went into the desert

for a wedding, which i djed, surrounded with friends.

and the next day i drove her back to the airport

and thanked God about 80000 times in a row on the way home.

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