dear rest of the world,

im moving to canada. the weathers nice here. the waters pretty and the parking meters let you pay them off via your cell phone.

the people are super sweet. the roads are paved with gold. the liquor stores have tip jars even though they charge you $10 for a six pack of PBR.

but the best is the irish girls remember you when you take the Cambie bus up Cambie back to the Cambie.

and the super best is that they lie and say that you made em come even though you only lasted through 2 much music videos.

then they wake you up in the morning. then they say lemme see if america is awake down there.

and america is always awake, ireland.

and then they do things to you that make you say things and moan things and

i will refrain from getting into too much detail but lets just say that at the cambie the girl who i ended up taking back to the room (after getting a wee bit lost and making out in doorways and alleyways seriously considering “breaking in” alley walls

said to me, i really dont like your beard

and i said i really dont like that you dont like my beard

and she said how can i convince you to get rid of it

and i said i may have brought a razor and a buzzcutter just for this situation

and she said how can i convince you to use those things

and i said do these things work

and i looked down at her irish eyes

she said my eyes are up here

i said oh yeah well

and there i was america with the hotel window open and the lights of the city across the way and the tv bumpin some music i never heard and this very sweet girl

convincing me

while pulling down my board shorts

and this morning, my friends, im beardless.

and tonight there are fireworks.

Leave a Reply