half of my job is getting people into places

and the other half of my job is getting people to read the things that my people write after they come out of the places.

all the stuff that either they dont write or cant write or wont write, i write.

hard to believe that i wrote almost 2,000 posts last year for LAist

and it’s harder to believe that last night i didn’t have a ticket to see the Beastie Boys play, and yet minutes before the show was to start i was being told that i was going to be in the front of the front row taking pictures of their first three songs.

dont ever kill yourself people.

you never know whats waiting for you.

this weekend we had a party at my house. it wasnt that great of a party

until the Miss Universe pagent strolled through.

there were these black girls from Africa, this asian surfer girl, after everyone had left a norweigan lass tapped on my door and helped me with all my left over beers.

and squeezed in there somewhere was the barely legal AOL user.

before the party i was nervous, then during the party i was sad, then at the peak of the party i was super happy and then at the end of the party i was really sad and then in the morning when i woke up with a girl from norway asking me if id consider an early morning romp i was no longer sad.

especially when she joined me in the closet under the little known fact that i had never banged a scandinavian in my closet


see how nice things can be when people say yes i asked myself scrunched against a row of stiff suits i hadnt worn in years and have now tossed into garbage bags as they will soon be donated to Goodwill

and maybe the Lord saw that i was giving to the poor which is why he had my Music Editor call me and offer me tickets to the beasties last night and then photo passes and then a ride with cool people.

so please dont anyone kill themselves

because there may be accents and front rows right around the corner for your ass

whether you deserve it or nacht.

and this evening i get to interview the boys.

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