sometimes a pretty girl will come over at night to tell me a little story. every night before that happens i take a shower. but because im excited i will usually burn a cd to listen and sing along with in the shower.

i also like to turn off my laptop because it means its the end of the day.

however i always have all these open windows. im gonna try to link them from now on.

+ 11 Things Libra by Timmmay
+ Houston woman turns in a bag filled with $65,000 in cash
+ when raymi and fil get married im gonna get them this cake
+ the New Hampshire tax evaders were invaded by undercover agents
+ kid paparazzi – soon on LAist?
+ holidaynevertouchedtheplate.com
+ todays detour festival set list and lineup
+ anna kournikova is skinnier than ever
+ Lindsay Lohan should go to UCSB
+ AP Buries the lede – their headline is McDonalds Strip Search Victim – when infact she had to give a guy head.
+ Ocean makes whale carcas move to Malibu
+ Maybe Bob Barker is an asshole?
+ Bobby Solomon got the quote of the day

but this little tale that they told on Deadspin today gave him some points on my scorecard having fun with the kids in the stands by revealing that his fantasy team is called The Taints, etc

The entire bleacher section cracked up. What was really funny was what came next, when Christine (the lady in the picture) asked Dempster for the ball he was long tossing with. After she first asked, his response was something along the lines of “what am I going to long toss with if I give you this ball?” After Christine pleaded for the ball again (in that semi-annoying way only girls can pull off), Dempster responded back “I’ll give you the ball if you take your top off.” By now the entire bleacher section was rolling over itself, a few beers deep and chanting “Take it off” in support of Dempster’s response. Christine, now embarrassed said that her boyfriend was her and that he wouldn’t like that, or something to that effect. Dempster, in an act of kindness and to stop the crowd from chanting at this poor girl to take off her clothes, then gave Christine the ball and went about his warming up business.

the entire tale is here and its good

including one of the commentors who says, “Yet another situation in which Ryan Demspter failed to close the deal.”

go cubbies

i made fun of santa monica in a story called ficus? ficyou! + i helped van halen sellout + im going to this tomorrow

it was both shocking and stunning to be convinced that i was slightly incorrect about a detail of some importance.

i also learned that just because i think the things i say have zero impact zero punch or zero resonance

sometimes even a slow ball can fall in there for strike three

the other day when i was possessed by the devil i wrote some very mean things

tip of the iceberg devil writings and only because i saw most of the iceberg did i think that it wasnt so frightening and yet alas i was mistaken.

im a terrible man. im going to hell. theyre gonna make me write on the paper down thur since im clearly in tune to the drumbeat of hate anger and all things evil.

last night i did laundry in the wee hours in hollywood at the lucys 24 hour. they have a 24 hour subway sandwhich place in there so you put your loads in then get a sandwhich and when youre done the clothes are ready to go in the drier and you put em in there and then you go and treat yourself to a candy bar at the gas station followed by a fillup and a car wash.

the wacky people in the lucys at 2am are better than any television show. and you are out there with them as theyre arguing and recovering and hiding and scamming and you say if you were a millionare these are the people youd never run into. and if you did at this hour youd be scared.

people are never washing the things that i am.

this fat guy was on his cell phone gleefully talking about a man with a small penis and a seperate woman with a tiny vagina. are his friends that close that they discusss these things? the tvs blast spanish stations. the arcade games simulate war sounds. and none of the machines look or sound alike.

this little girl walked up to me as her mom folded towels and said whose your favorite movie star. and because she asked it so honestly i answered back just as honestly, wc fields. and her mother called her over in spanish.