today is miss carrie’s birthday

shes 24

we first met during my roadtrip around the world. it was toronto. it was karaoke.

she had a very jealous boyfriend at the time who even through the parked car knew that there was something special between us so he pouted and waited and steamed and jealousized the various different ways that i would steal his girl from his unworthy clutches.

it was true i wanted her. but when i met her i felt oh so unworthy. she was cool she was hot she was so nice. i withered in her presence and was barely able to put together reasonable sentences.

fortunately the music was so loud she couldnt hear me stammer and before we knew it there he was at the door of the establishment telling her it was time to come home.

this past new year we were reunited. this time there was no boyfriend. instead there were lesbians, a hot tub, many large dogs, and a hilariously disgusting friend named Paulie.

we soaked in the tub as the large flakes floated down on us as we sported clockwork orange makeup and reminisced about her air hockey prowess.

for some reason the boys of TO dont see the loveliness of miss c the way i do and she swears that if she ever moves to LA that i would be her california boyfriend.

in the meantime i follow her on facebook and watch her master the fine art of cake making and wonder what the hell is wrong with the gentlemen of the great white north that the path to her front door isnt lined with proper suitors and the skies arent filled with airplanes with signs being dragged behind them professing lines of love.

maybe it means she does have to head south west, young lady.

in the meantime happy birthday carrie cakes, inventor of the two cakes one cup delight that has spread across canada like a bad flu.


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