yeah, not gonna be driving tonight
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Author Archives: tony
as you know im a bizarre man
for years i have enjoyed Fantasy sports, but when i was at the Times, I was introduced to a fantasy game called Losers Football.
it’s really simple: you pick an NFL team that you think is gonna lose, if they lose that week you make it to the next week but you can’t use that team again.
the guy who runs it did a very smart thing, he made two leagues that happen simultaneously. the second league starts in Week 5, that way if you lose the first league early (which happens) then you can focus on the second league and continue to enjoy the season.
even though we started with 169 players, look who has made it to the Final 12.
this week i have the New York Jets losing to the New England Deflators.
it’s weird rooting for teams you hate or rooting against your favorite teams, but whatever, if i win I think I get $800.
Tom Brady better not break his leg early in this game.
full weekend. too full to write
friday i MCed the SW Lauden Replacements-inspired mystery novel short story collection
did i know what i was doing? do i ever?
most of life is being on time.
the rest is being black and proud.
i was incredible. the writers/readers were too.
we even had a guy who skyped in from Scotland to read.
turned out it was his idea, he got the book deal, and it wouldnta happened without him.
also his story was great.
afterwards some of our friends played replacements songs and it was beautiful
weird thing about my friends: we all love the Replacements soooooo much, but for some reason it’s like an unspoken rule that you dont cover them you dont sing them at hootenannys and you dont really even talk about them very much
but when this book came out i guess a few of them were all, lets learn some tunes and rock that shit
it was dylan, greg and marko
marko was a local santa barbara teen who stumbled across our friends and befriended them
he placed bass in Popsicko which was fronted by Keith Brown (RIP) who went to high school with coulter, greg, and dan
he said something really nice at the beginning, he said, a lot of these guys have known each other since freshman year of college
and a few have known each other since high school so it’s really great to be around them
because these songs mean so much to all of them.
so true. so very true.
afterwards i got a few tacos at a taco stand, then ubered for a while.
it was a good weekend.
i’ll figure it out
i always do
been sending emails back and forth with Uber for like a month.
at USC they have this special deal with Uber that im sure ive talked about. i like it because it’s short rides, everyones nice,
and best of all they are out there waiting for you right away because
a) kids are alright
b) kids understand ubes
c) they’ll get charged $5 if they’re not there in two minutes
when the payout is right you can make decent money and every now and then one of the people at USC wants a Select ride and there you go off into the night.
the trouble with Ubes is they outsource their email support to a dark dark place — it could be all a computer program out in Westworld for all i know because all the responses are canned and they hate being specific about you
finally today i either got super lucky or said the magic words but i got someone who actually understood what i was trying to say and bingo i got my money.
persistence. clarity of message. asking for what you want.
next time i’ll ask for some pre-IPO shares
do i care that Trump is hiring racists
and anti semites and homophobes and liars and haters and nogoodnicks
and an attorney general who hates weed
and has a VP who thinks you can electrocute the gay outta people
and kids who think they belong in meetings with japanese political leaders
and omg the head of breitbart “news”?
no. i dont care.
the bible says, clearly, and repeatedly,
“doth not give two shits about thou earth. only care about Paradise.”
because the Lord saw the future, and it involved a selfie stick, a whole bunch of people who look like they were at the same family reunion, all pretending that theyre representing the most diverse country in the world
while pretending global warming doesnt exist
while pretending that weed kills
while pretending that their odd ways of no taxes and heavy spending on the military
wont sink this economy like it did with bush, bush, and reagan.
let the meek inherit the earth, homeboy.
who are the meek?
youre looking at em.
if trump can be president now
Jon Stewart should get to do it next
drove around USC last night because of a bonus
and at first i thought they were paying me right but when i got home i saw that they werent.
i wrote them and they just lied and lied and lied.
so today i showed them that they were wrong and i told them that if they didnt fix it i was going to write to my local newspaper.
but in reality if they are wrong i am going to write to the Massachusetts lawyer who successfully sued them in a class action suit.
this would also be a class action suit because im sure it affects every driver who picks up passengers at USC after 7pm.
i used to say that if i had to do it all over again i would be a guitar player because everyone loves guitarist. but thats not entirely true.
now i say if i had to do it all over again i would be a lawyer
not because everyone loves lawyers but because everyone at least respects lawyers and are forced to pay attention to them if they send you a letter.
it sucks that life is like that but whatever, it is what it is, as they say.
tomorrow i am going to MC a book reading.
my life is over.
The Frogtown Serenaders debuted last night at the Mint in Hollywood
and they were fantastic.
Mr. Hepburn and I had front row seats in part because Mr. Oswald J. Tyler had not sang in front of a live audience since Heather’s wedding
and it’s always great to hear Greg play any sort of guitar, even the acoustical.
this band is a super group of sorts which only is happening because Greg has parted ways with Vaude and the Villians, which was and is a great group, but as a fan, when theres 20 people on stage its hard to hear the rhythm guitarist.
so i was very grateful to see this new combo which contains the trumpet (or is it a coronet) and banjo dual attack of soloists.
this picture also doesnt show off their 24-year-old singer lady whose name escapes me but she was as talented as she is beautiful
even her parents were in the audience last night — awwwww – because they heard about Os
awwwwwwwwww
they play again in a couple of weeks at a Cubs bar in DTLA so i will have better video and pictures from that gig.
last night i just wanted to get wasted because of sads from politics.
whaaaaaa.
hey tony, how come you haven’t been writing about the xbi?
i havent?
and when the planet hit the sun, i saw the face of allison
The Pixies‘ album “Bossanova” came out when I was at UCSB. At the time I was the entertainment editor of the world famous Daily Nexus so I assigned myself an interview with Pixies bassist Kim Deal. She was the sweetest, funniest, most open person I ever interviewed (next to Mojo Nixon – but he was kind of a cartoon). Kim was right there with me. AKA hyper and down for whatever.
Among many many things, I asked her about the barely one-minute long song “Allison” from the new record.
I told her I loved the music but I had zero idea what the lyrics meant. Who was this Allison? And what maniac writes a pop song about a girl named Allison after Elvis Costello pretty much wrote the greatest tune ever about a girl named Allison.
And Kim was all, “yes he did. But ah-ha! Ours is not about a girl. Ours is sorta about this jazz pianist Mose Allison.” I was like Kim Deal you’re blowing my damn mind. She said, you’re welcome.
Today Mose Allison died.
Here’s the Pixies song that’s sorta about him: