starring pics of the ting tings from last nights show

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

i was in san francisco installing satellite dishes and audio equipment for my own company. i lived on clinton park drive with my truest. we had a cool 2br apartment with a washer drier, dishwasher, big tv, garage, suv. all our friends were around us. but for some reason i was becoming sorta dissatisfied and i felt like i wanted more. i was reading the bible a lot and i saw the story of the Rich Prince. it was told slightly different in three parts of the new testament. but basically Jesus dared the Rich Prince to sell all his crap and follow Him. little did i know but about six months later i would do just that and end up in LA.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today?

– Go to the post office to see if i have anything at my PO Box
– take in and pick up some dry cleaning
– pick up sterno, bubbly, and a disposable table cloth for a fondue party at karisas
– upload video from last night’s show
– update the Comments Blog, our newest blog at the Times

3. Snacks I enjoy:

fritos, chocolate bars, cheez-its, cheetos, wheat thins, but currently eating mini pretzels

4. Places I’ve lived:
– washington dc, just long enough to have my sister get born there too
– union city new jersey, just long enough to not remember much of anything
– hanover park, illinios, just long enough to go through kindegarten through high school
– santa monica, westwood, venice beach, west la, just long enough to finish junior college
– isla vista, just long enough to learn how to write, drink, love, and party
– atwater village, just long enough to be part of Chopper One, and costar in some sweet Three Bad Roommates films
– san francisco, several apartments in the mission, haight street, and back to the mission.
– west la, westwood, and now hollywood. in fact this hollywood apartment is the longest ive ever stayed in a place since my childhood home. 8 years now.

5. Things I’d do if I was a billionaire:

Buy the Cubs and Wrigley Field. Then tear down the lights. I might also consider buying Old Style beer.

6. People I want to know more about:

people who arent full of shit, people who are courageous, artists, experimental musicians, exhibitionists, geniuses

then you tag six people: krista, suzie, JaG, xTx, the pants, fil

so heres my friday song…

Bob D asks: TP3- Are you coming to Chicago this summer?

i should. i really should. but something tells me i wont.
i wanted to go for Lalapalooza but i have this college reunion thing that weekend.
so im guessing no.
when the cubs make it to the playoffs i might have to take off some time at work.

Suzie: If you could pick any job for me…what would it be?? AND how are you??

topless park ranger.
bleh. i hate friday the thirteenths

Kay: hey tony, are there any cool things going on in LA this weekend that i should check out?

Ting Tings at the Troubadour tonight. i will be at the bar singing along. also theyre playing saturday at a secret place. also theres a pool party at Little Radio.

Mike: If you could pick any job for me what would it be? And can you get me hired?

bottomless cab driver. probably.

zona: does a guy still get change back for a fifty from the hookers in Hollywood?

if you arent changed every time you spend money in hollywood you are buying the wrong things.

maurice: why so glum, chum?

i have no idea. i shouldnt be. i have a great concert im going to in a few hours. i just helped launch a new blog, comments blog, whose subhead i totally stole from Jamie of the known universe (but he said it was cool), i get to hang with karisa tomorrow, im healthy, my house is clean, and i have a cougar blowing up my iphone.

but for some reason i just wanna crawl into bed and watch that adam sandler movie with that fat dude.

thank god the cubs are in TO where the livings easy.

so drop your questions into the comments and i will answer them before you can say hey tony how come the caged bird sings

of course it was right in the middle of the laker game.

i was all, hi game 4. she was like, what did you call me? i was uh youre not game 4? she was like, ummm?

i said, cuz for like Everyone in los angeles and boston right now the only thing in the world is whats appearing on that tv right behind you.

she was like, i was wondering why traffic was so light coming over here.

then i said, so you knew you were coming over here and you didnt call first?

she was all, i wanted to surprise you! and she smiled.

cheerleaders, i’ll tell ya.

i was ok you surprised me. how about dont surprise me any more. how about i might actually work for the xbi still and i could be cleaning my gun or be expecting bad guys to be coming over, or i dont know a million of things.

she responded with that super annoying oooooooo kaaaaaaay, like i was the crazy one.

she sat down. folded her arms and her legs. i unpaused the tivo. it was awkward. i offered her a beer. she didnt want a beer. diet dr pepper? nope. water? nope.

then what do you want?

i wanna hang out with you tony!

i was all, baby, the lakers are hanging out with me. and the celtics. then i have to work on this new blog. then i have to get some sleep cuz im pretty sure im gonna meet a big wig from my company tomorrow.

she was like, wait, is this, are you, are you like MAD at me or something?

if you saw her legs you wouldnt be mad at shit.

i saw her legs.

and even though pouty demanding attention loving girls are sorta hot. for some reason the lakers were trying to make the game more interesting than it needed to be. but this chick had slammed my door. so i tolder that if she was gonna hang out with me she had to lose that behavior.

wait, behavior? she asked and twirled her hair.

yeah baby, im a sensitive poet and my door is even more sensitive. you cant slam it or it wont let you in next time.

and in less than an hour the lakers had blown the game and drama queen was slamming a door again, completely forgetting what we had just agreed on.

this time it was the back door.

how did she know that door doesnt mind being slammed?

wait, im not real sure that came out right.

Impolite Club billboards via

a unicorn discovered, and other oddities

– is it weirder that mccain admitted that he cant use a computer and needs his wife to do what millions of people can do effortlessly, or that this information just came out despite being released a long time ago?

– did you know metallica is going to play bonnaroo? do people really even go to bonnaroo? regardless, esquire has five funny and scary reasons why the metal gods will destroy the tennessee festival. no not destroy as in kick ass, but destroy as in ruin it forever.

– buddhas are taking the accessory world by storm. buddhists not so thrilled.

– im pretty sure JaG is saying that she misses me and wants me. feelings mutual, baby.

– things are tough all over: lehman bros take a $3 billion quarterly loss, fire CFO, COO

– conservative federal judge in obscenity trial caught by the LA Times storing porn on the interwebs. what sorta porn? oh trannies, half dressed men next to animals, and women painted like cows.

– deer with a horn on its head is more than just horny, could be a unicorn

– gay marriages could inject $684 million in the california economy over the next three years, thereby saving the state. now where’s your hate, cockblockers?

– in some local restaurants here in LA you can be served by asian women dressed as french maids, school girls, or a waitress dressed like a cave woman. yes, hollywood, asian Theme Restaurants have come to the southland. and guess which local paper has a photo gallery, video, and an enlightening story?

– dr. drews mtv “celebrity rehab” show will have a season 2 starring a series of 80s stars, namely a guns n roses drummer, video vixen tawny kitaen, and rodney king(!), and if thats not enough how about jeff from taxi for an encore and gary busey to steal all the scenes.

– i think i know the brains behind the CNN headline tshirt, if thats the case, congrats, rockstar, the NYT fell for your brilliance!

– 11 great beerfests in the West. and yes, BC, you are represented.

– stripper shortage in Ontario? Suzie looks like you might have to unretire those clear heels

– did you know that President Bush was accused of High Crimes and Misdemeanors on the floor of Congress for four hours this week?

yep. and bro is forcing a vote on articles of impeachment. and look, it has a wikipedia page.

– prettiest picture from last night in the whole wide world was here.

why are you up in my bidness? why are you all up in my grill? why do you wanna french kiss my soul?

dear television, why are you showing me shrek the third? why are you so beautiful? why do you make everything else literally pale in comparison?

dear hot chick who is now putting back on her clothes, why did you take that personally? dont you know youre already pale in comparison b/c youre pale… because you dont want skin cancer or something? because youre eastern eurpean? because you arent 46 inches diagonal – which is a good thing?

dear clean apartment, why is my maid so excellent? but why does she think its a good idea to cook me a snack of beans, rice and shrimp, and think its ok to put a plate and let it sit out on the counter until i come back home? dont you know im a bachelor, maid? dont you know that means i might not come home for days?

dear slamming door, why do chicks need to treat you so? why must they huff, puff, and slam? didnt they get what they wanted tonight? or was that just a dramatic exeunt into the night? or did she seriously think that i was gonna chase after her just because her body is so fine, so perfect, so driving down sunset in a few minutes cuz im gonna sit right here and blog and watch my more perfect tv?

dear hollywood, why are you so plentiful? why are you still my bff? why do you keep delivering the goods and the drama queens and the mellow temps and the freaky folk, and the random everythings? why have you sucked me in as if i was meant to be here? why are you so wonderful in the midst of wonder? why are you so underrated besides being talked about on every medium every day? why is it that only bukowski captured you, but only in passing, only as a background, only to the trained eye?

dear blog, thank you for staying with me through all of the changes. dont you ever wanna be written by someone more fascinating? dont you want some wild chick to scribble her dreams wishes and rambling actions up in here? why me? dont you know how old i am? dont you know i hit the wall when i was starting shortstop on the little league all star team sometime last century?

dear end of this post, what took ya?

and i cant stop playing this song.

“I am the Greatest Man That Ever Lived”

You try to play cool
Like you just don’t care
But soon I’ll be playin’ in your
Underwear
I’m like the mage
With the magic spell
You come like a dog
When I ring yo’ bell
I got the money
And I got the fame
You got the hots
To ride on my plane
You givin’ me all
That I desire
’Cos down with me
I’m taking you higher

I’m the baddest of the bad
I’m the best that you’ve ever had
I’m the tops, I’m the king
All the girls get up when I sing, yeah
I’m the meanest in the place
Step up, I’ll mess with your face
I don’t care where you are
Look up and follow the star.

I, I’m gonna tear down the wall
I may not be here when you call
So best be givin’ me your all.(oooooo)

After the havoc that I’m gonna wreak
No more words will critics have to speak
I’ve got the answers to the tangled knot
Sleep tight in your cot.

Oh baby,
I’ve been told I’m goin’ crazy.
Oh baby,
But I can’t be held down.
Oh baby,
Somehow I’m keeping it steady.
Oh baby,
I’m tearin up this town.

Hey, this is what I like,
Cut my heart with a modern spike.
Hey, this is nothing new,
I’ve got more than enough for you.

I can take on anybody
I can do my thing
I don’t wanna hurt nobody
But a bee has got’ta sting
I’ma fix it if you mix it up (Hoo, hoo)
Talk smack, and I’ma gonna shut you up. (Hoo, hoo)

I am the greatest man that ever lived
I was born to give. (I was born to give.)
I am the greatest man that ever lived, oh
Radio a Dio,(Radio a dio)

Somebody said all the worlds is stage,
And each of us is a player.
That’s what I’ve been tryin to tell you.
In Act 1 I was struggling to survive.
Nobody wanted my action dead or alive.
Act 2, I hit the big time.
And bodies be all up on my behind.
And I can’t help myself because I was born to shine.
And if you don’t like it, you can shove it.
But you don’t like it, you love it.
So I’ll be up here in a rage,
’Til they bring the curtain down on the stage.

I’m the greatest man that ever lived…
I’m the greatest man that ever lived…
I’m the greatest man that ever lived…

I am the greatest man that ever lived
I was born to give and give and give.
I am the greatest man that ever lived
Radio a (Dio a) Dio a (Dio a)

I am the greatest ever lived.
I was born to give.

last night i sped across hollywood down sunset to make it to beverly hills during rushhour. that was fun.

making it to the green room and hanging out with max and jason, and getting to meet robert greenwald (who made the vid above) and this cool lawyer from this fancy firm who told me that these fancy people from the nytimes and the wall street journal were fans of mine and the busblog was fun too.

knowing that karisa was sitting in the audience to root me on was fun. representing the LA Times wasnt fun cuz i didnt wanna f up, but far as i know i didnt f up, so that was fun. but half way through realizing that i had just drunk half a bottle of water and now i had to pee wasnt fun.

but it wasnt boring. thats fer sure.

what was interesting was how many times people mentioned LAist. when i worked there and i recruited people to work there i always said, the things you do here will help you sooooo much, i know we dont pay you, but i swear people will read it and more people will read each day, and you will be able to establish yrself in ways that you want. and there it was, and it was true.

and it is true. even though i write a little for the times and i edit a lot, lots of that stuff is so behind the scenes that nooone would ever be able to see it. but the things you write in your own blog or on group blogs like LAist will get seen, and people will make judgements, and if youre a halfway decent blogger they will make positive judgements. it made me very happy. a little proud.

and even in the bathroom this dude from another stall excused himself for asking questions in such an odd room, but asked anyways and we had a very nice conversation about blogging. for a good five minutes.

cuz thats how much water i had apparently dranken.

and if you ask me he’s one of the best bloggers anywhere, period.

a reporter is supposed to go places that most people cant go and tell the readers what went down.

a blogger reports and gives his take.

schill had floor seats at the lakers/celts game. seats he called “ridiculous”. basically they were on the lakers bench. he saw everything, but best of all he heard everything.

and then he wrote it down. for yr ass.

on trashtalking

One thing I did learn was that in addition to not having one ounce of athletic ability, being white, and having no vertical, and only being able to dribble right handed, I couldn’t play in the NBA because about 43 times last night I heard things being said that would have made me swing at someone. These guys talk MAJOR trash on the floor, and the great part is that most of the times I’ve seen it the guy on the receiving end usually doesn’t respond much, if at all, and just plays the game, schooling the guy who feels like he needs to talk to make his game better.

on the ref who t’ed up garnett

KGs first quarter Technical. I heard EVERY word of his exchange with the ref. It’s nice to know that they share the same problems some players do with MLB umpires. He was giving a technical because he said the F word, period. He did NOT call the ref a name, he was bitching about a non-call and said “C’mon, what the F am I supposed to do” and got the T. Now I watch both Pierce, and I think Allen, talking to this ref and he shoots back to Paul this little tidbit. “I can’t let him talk to me that way.”

What? Dude, your an NBA official, not the stinking Pope. Not one person in the arena paid 1 cent of their ticket to see you, ref the game and shut your pie hole. These guys are playing for a world championship, they are as amped up as you expect the best players in the world to be, they are grown men, there’s going to be some PG-13 language, and you are giving a T to a guy for dropping an F bomb? Stupid.

on the refs regarding their calls

Every SINGLE play up and down the floor has MULTIPLE fouls being committed by multiple players. These guys are in close, every play. They are beating the crap out of each other, and the refs see it. That makes me think that the game is called and paced exactly how the refs want it to be. I wondered aloud, a few times, how in the hell calls weren’t being made against the Celts on a ton of plays in the paint where there was some serious pugilism being committed. There were a ton of ‘non-calls’ in my incredibly amateur opinion.

on kobe:

This one stunned me a little bit. Who doesn’t know Kobe Bryant right? I only know what I have heard, starting awhile back with the entire Shaq debacle. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other on or about him other than to know that people feel he might be one of the 4-5 greatest players to ever lace it up. What I do know is what I got to see up close and hear, was unexpected. From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy bitch at his teammates. Every TO he came to the bench pissed, and a few of them he went to other guys and yelled about something they weren’t doing, or something they did wrong. No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever. He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team. Then when they made what almost was a historic run in the 4th, during a TO, he got down on the floor and basically said ‘Let’s f’ing go, right now, right here” or something to that affect. I am not making this observation in a good or bad way, I have no idea how the guys in the NBA play or do things like this, but I thought it was a fascinating bit of insight for me to watch someone in another sport who is in the position of a team leader and how he interacted with his team and teammates. Watching the other 11 guys, every time out it was high fives and “Hey nice work, let’s get after it” or something to that affect. He walked off the floor, obligatory skin contact on the high five, and sat on the bench stone faced or pissed off, the whole game. Just weird to see another sport and how it all works. I would assume that’s his style and how he plays and what works for him because when I saw the leader board for scoring in the post season his name sat up top at 31+ a game, can’t argue with that. But as a fan I was watching the whole thing, Kobe, his teammates and then the after effects of conversations. He’d yell at someone, make a point, or send a message, turn and walk away, and more than once the person on the other end would roll eyes or give a ‘whatever dude’ look.

thats how you blog, sportsfans.

read the whole thing here as well as reactions to the game and the blog here at the Lakers Blog. h/t tomdog

she has class, she has style, shes educated, she comes from a great family, shes pretty much straightedge, she helps the poor, shes smart enough to buy her stock options, shes beautiful, shes sexy, shes well behaved, she appreciates good grammar

and yet somehow she invites

me

to visit her at her parents home.

christine rene has clearly fallen from the heavens for the sole purpose of healing the sick and tending to the needy. her heart is as big as [joke redacted] and her soul is the standard by which purity is judged.

ive known her since the last century and i dont know one person who has ever had a bad thing to say about her. it’s eerie.

i want to be with her forever on principle alone.

i dug through her dirty drawers this weekend and she said what are you doing and i said looking for skidmarks because im sure they could cure cancer. sadly all there was was glitter. and rainbows.

today is chris’s 24th birthday. she showed me hundreds of photos last night from her two and a half years in uganda. she knew everyones name and everyones stories. she showed me how people sing and dance at funerals, at graduations, when the queen comes, when the president comes, and when hospital wings open.

she showed me this one video where people sang but not really. there was no joy in their tune. i said, why arent they singing like they just did at that one dudes funeral?

she said that was my last day. they were singing to me.

they were crushed.

even in africa the people know how special this woman is. and today we celebrate her birth.