a marketing director for a tech company, she’s into good music, wrote for the daily nexus and sends me steamy emails even though ive never met her — though she swears my name rings a bell.

i mighta met her once when i was visiting santa barbara, but i doubt it. i think i woulda remembered her.

but maybe not. i do have a habit of drinking a tad when im hanging in the 93117.

hot nexus babes were plentiful when i was there and it’s nice to know that the tradition lasted past our reign, but the reason i am bringing up michelle is because i linked her website yesterday and not her blog, and any time you can link a blog from Oxnard you should.

i bought my first car, a Saturn SL-1 in Oxnard.

anyhow, michelle’s web site, like this blog, is filled with way too many pictures to punish those who insist on dialup connections. However she has a “boys we love” section that is a parade of homoerotic poses from some of the prettiest lads this side of the Castro District.

you girls cant be serious about that shit.

normally i dont spotlight people who link me, but i didnt belong to a frat in college so the nexus is the closest to beer/chicks/idiocy/lifelong connections that i’ll ever get.

tybie forever!

so i decided to get my trashy summer novel reading started in grand fashion by breaking open my signed copy of ken layne’s novel of intrigue, muder, technology, “dot.con”.

okay, even if ken wasnt my friend, former roommate, current linking buddy, and future drinking partner, i would still think that his book is top-notch.

im a super slow reader and i’ve made it through the first 30 pages, and not only is this book funny, but it’s true.

i wont ruin it for any of you, but let me act as a witness, this “novel” includes characters that if you walk down the lower Haight in Frisco, you might very well meet some of the bumbling crack street vendors like “Charles” outside Palestinian-run corner markets named “O’Lowney’s.”

we all knew that ken could write, but i wasnt so sure that he could write a novel.

let it be known, the fucker can write a novel.

i cannot give such a glowing review to one of the best chinese restaurants in west hollywood.

for the record, i love the food at p.f. changs, but why must their service be so crappy?

last night karisa took me out to dinner so as to console me from my shocking dumping. we had the crab won tons, spicy shrimps, lemon scallops. i had some harsh shots of rum, she had an apple martini and licked the sugar from the glass and pretended like it wasnt the sexiest move ever.

still the loser server guy whose only job is to take the plate from the kitchen to the table forgot to bring soy sauce.

how do you forget that? its a fucking chinese restaurant. sure theyre playing frank sinatra and there isnt one chinaman in the whole dump, but no matter how californian you tweak the chinese food you’ll never ween us from the soy sauce, renaldo.

isnt the purpose of having the waiter only take the order, and the food server only bring you the food, efficiancy? quality? customer fucking service?

karisa is a trooper though and took her time with the sugar even though her martini was third rate.

38. mcluhless

39. angrywhitegirl.com

.. mmm not really. i was baptisted catholic.

no priest ever touched me. which isnt to say that some didnt touch others, or worse. who doesnt think that some of them did? it just never happened to me, thankfully.

i was baptised catholic. during holidays i would get taken to church. once i went to sunday school and they gave us a hershey bar when it was over. fair enough trade, if you ask me.

my grandmother used to take me to the national cathedral in dc. when i was 15 i thought that a drivers liscense was the only thing that was keeping me from going to church every day. when i was 21 i visited the vatican and they charged me $20 for a roll of film.

at around 23-24 i finished the bible for the first time and i realised that there was nothing in there about nuns or popes or cardinals or confession or most of the things that makes up catholicism, so i became a christian.

a few years later i became ordained.

im not a good minister, but i am one, but dont be impressed.

still, i have to say this for the catholics, whatever they did during their run, they made the “catholic skirt” the sexiest peice of clothing every young woman should have in her wardrobe.

regardless of her spiritual beliefs.

you’d think a perv like xknight would have had a catholic girl skirt contest by now, but im sure he will one of these days.

in related news, “american idol” is starting to suck.

The World Wildlife Fund has been around since 1961, fighting earnestly to save endangered species. Its logo features a panda bear.

The World Wrestling Federation launched in 1962, and has made millions of dollars selling staged combats between steroid-inflamed loonies. Its Web site recently touted its best-selling item as the “Undertaker Big Evil Red Devil T-shirt.”

So which of these WWFs won the recent skirmish between the two? The good guys!

A court ruled that the pandas had a superior claim to the initials WWF, and that the devils had to change their name. It’s now World Wrestling Entertainment.

I bring this up, Libra, as proof that sometimes goodness and beauty and truth do triumph.

As you navigate an analogous showdown in your own sphere, fight for this possibility with all your might.

– Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezney

37. Aloha…from Earth

“you’re such a player you’ll have a new babe in no time, dont be sad.”

i said, im no player, thats just my marketing team.

she said, “well get your team in gear, you only have 35 new links. it’s 20 days until july 9th and you need 65 more links. what’s your plan?”

i said, “i aint got no plan. the plan is to ride off into the sunset.”

she said, “three a day.”

i said. “no way can i get three a day.”

she said, “how’s your girl anna doing?”

i said, “anna lost 7-6 (4), 3-6, 1-6 to Rita Grande of Italy at the Eastbourne tournament.”

beyonce said, “clay?”

i said, “no, this is a warm-up for Wimbledon, so it’s on grass.”

she said, “oh, isnt that the tournament that Martina Navratilova signed up for for her comeback?”

i said, “yeah, she signed up and she won her first match.”

beyonce said, “martina won and anna didnt? that’s pretty sad.”

i said, “yup.”

she said, “i like her in yellow.”

i said, “yep.”

she said, “are you doing okay?”

i said, “yep.”

and i always know im in trouble when im listening to her.

i was in trouble the first time the cuban girl sent me an email. i was trying to get her to let me take her out. normally we ate lunch on fridays with some of the agents here at the xbi, but i wanted to get her out of that mix and see what she was really like.

after months of pursuit she wrote back saying that we could have lunch, as long as it was in the day time, as long as i didnt pay for the meal, as long as i didnt show any sign of affection, and as long as we didnt share any food. im such a smart ass i wanted to show up with a little 3×5 card with the word “affection” written on it, but im not that cool.

crazy rules that id never heard before, but she was hot so i agreed and we had our pizza.

three weeks later, everything was completely different, and we spent every day together for a little while.

mary chapin carpenter would probably tell me that youre going to win some and lose some in this country song called life, and when you win you should keep it to yourself and when you lose you should sing your sad little tunes, but to be honest im still sorta surprised and it hasnt sunk in yet and i know the things i did wrong.

i know.

but dont cry for me, isla vista, i’ll bounce back like i always do.

if you ever saw this girl you’d say, “no, you wont be bouncing back any time soon.” but i have a bizarre way of being able to shake this sort of thing off. it begins with smoking and drinking on a wednesday night.

and if you like me you wont say anything in the comments section, cuz none of it will help. just keep being my friend and keep being nice to each other. i knew it was a doomed affair when she said that my house was too dirty and that i lived too far away when my house has never been cleaner and we both live in hollywood.

it was code.

we all speak in code.

my code is superhonesty. it might sound like bs sometimes when i say it, but i mean it.

i might say it with a funny tone or sarcastically, but it’s true.

sometimes everything in here is true.

in other news, the cubs won in the bottom of the ninth last night.

La., relaxes in Lake Placid, N.Y. after a practice session for the four man bobsled at the Winter Olympics in this Feb 20, 1980 file photo. Davenport, who won the gold medal in the 110-meter hurdles in 1968 and competed in a total of five Olympics, died of a heart attack after collapsing at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, Monday, June 17, 2002, the Cook County medical examiner’s office said Tuesday. (AP Photo/File)

i’m so lucky that so many bus drivers of the Los Angeles MTA read this blog because it’s so great to talk to all of you at once.

so far we have a pretty good relationship, you and i.

i pay my money; you speed past me when you dont want to stop, you dont open your door when people are clearly pounding on it begging to climb aboard, you mumble into the microphone at major stops telling us such vital info as la breereerrereah.

you dont let us eat or drink or smoke or play our radios

and thats okay.

but please turn down the air conditioners.

its ninety degrees but i need to carry a jacket

if i plan on using the bus.

if i wanted an air conditioner i would have bought a lexus.

35. town without pity

little does she know that i dont do any of the writing here. my staff just got back from their kabutz and theyre still a tad jet-lagged.

karisa and i have a pretty cool deal going. i never thought that i would ever have a friend who was a girl and pretty cute (sometimes) who i would actually prefer being “just friends” with, as if every cool girl needed to be a conquest or it was somehow a failure.

keeping a good friendship, especially during the turbulent dot com era that we got to know each other, is somewhat of a conquest.

and then there was the ongoing pleas and cries that she would deliver upon me night after night begging for me to be her “man”. the late night arguements outside of my front gates where i spoke to her through my security box telling her to take her drunken ass home or i was going to …

well, needless to say, we’re friends, she might want more from me sometimes, i might want certain things from her sometimes (like for her to sew the curtains in my smoking chamber that she promised more than a year ago), etc.

you know im writing this myself when i type “etc.” the writers never leave me hanging with that shit.

anyhow, for your delight, here are some of karisa’s daydreams today in LA, a beautiful afternoon…perhaps you have some of the same wishes:

“whoa. i cannot believe you just said that about the hammock and a backyard

and 2 palm trees….. i was just outside walking with merle and said that i

wished that on the roof of the building that there was grass, 2 trees and a

hammock….but i wanted a mini-wading pool instead of a mister!

“holy shit.

“right now i would rather be outside in the heat,

swinging a hammer, sweating from doing manual labor, and having a physical

finished product that people can enjoy for years to come.

“i would give up this shit any day for equal pay.

“i was sad about jesse ventura too. apparently, his 22 year old son has been

throwing way too many parties in the governors mansion!!!

“shit, it was a good thing my dad was not the president!!!

“i love the home depot.

“i love this weather.

“i love that i have a very SLIGHT tan and that i didn’t blowdry my hair after

i got out of the shower this morning.

“and i love that i look like i just woke up.

“i hate that i lost my sunglasses and i am getting one new crow’s feet per

day….

“and i wish that i did laundry yesterday.

“blah.”

a nice woman who’d rather be outside with a hammer doing good for the planet, what’s better than that?

how about a guy from Turkey saying that this is the best Blog in the world?

and lastly, but not leastly, these are two sites that linked me for the first time today, but didnt put me on the left-hand side permanantly, so it doesnt “count,” but i apprecate it anyway so you should check them out.

geocities.com/sijeka/top_5.htm

beingjenraj.blogspot.com/

i am lucky even to be honored to be on your blogs, nice people blogging at home.

or on your screens.

or on the other side of your emails.

love,

tony

go to google and type in “lakers threepeat” or “LA Lakers threepeat” and see what happens.

what were you expecting? a link to Pat Riley?