and other headlines

interview with the hot babe in brentwood who is giving away a great super bowl ticket and a chance to be her date and two of her hot girlfriends

remember when i went to the bears cardinals game on monday night in october?

metafilter loved pans labyrinth. i didnt.

flagrant is thinking about writing without being so gd mysterious. i say do whatever gets you through the night baby.

sk smith was on a little writing streak but then hit a wall

nay, one of my all time favorite bloggers, has stopped her free blog and is pay-only now. so sad.

as a science experiment i sent one of the hottest girls ever down to san diego. not only does she love dressing up and pleasing her man, but shes smart, shes funny, shes in grad school, and shes single. the experiment was: is there even one real man in san diego to woo this woman, and the answer is a resounding of course not, its freaking san diego.

because shes really young she sends me these quizzes and INSISTS THAT I FILL THEM OUT

kids growing up without ever having to buy a dial up modem really have no sense of patience

YOU CAN’T LIE IN THIS QUIZ.
BE 100% TRUTHFUL ABOUT EVERY QUESTION.

LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with?
karisa

2. You texted?
eurogirl

3. You were in a car with?
eurogirl

4. Went to the movies with?
eharmony date #3

5. Went to the mall with?
eurogirl

6. You talked on the phone to?
my mom

7. Made you laugh?
bart simpson

WOULD YOU RATHER…?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
tongue

2. Be serious or be funny?
funny

3. Drink whole or skimmed milk?
whole is the only way

4. Die in a fire or get shot..
fire FIRE

5. Have sex with one person very well or four people at the same time poorly..
quantity, not quality

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY…

1. Sun or moon?
moon me

2. Winter or Fall?
fall on me

3. Left or right?
to the left

4. Sunny or rainy?
sunny

6. Where do you live?
hollywood, ca

7. How many kids do you want?
between 1 and 12

8. Do you want to get married?
only if im in love

9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
twirlings the best part

10. Have you ever eaten S.P.A.M?
probably. i never know what im eating.

12. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
3

13. Do you cook?
i havent turned on my oven for five years

14. Current mood?
very happy

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU…

1. Kissed someone?
no

2. Sang?
girlfriend in a coma, smiths

3. Been hugged?
no comment

4. Missed someone?
but of course

5. Danced Crazy?
mais oui

6. Cried?
that happens about once a year, so keep waiting

7. Lied?
never

8. Loved someone you can’t have?
of course!

you dont run for president when the usa has a good chance of electing the first black president.

sure women deserve a break today but they werent brought here in boats as slaves

not that obama was, but im just saying.

if i was hillary id step down immediately and say, “it just dawned on me that i have always been in support of minority rights and especially the advancement of african americans, most of whom supported my husband and i through thick and thin.

“no way will i cockblock barack.”

and if obama was smart he would have her be his running mate because not only would it lessen the chances of an assassination attempt (down from 99% to 94%),

but that is what should happen when you re-elect george w. bush after iraq, 9/11, katrina, gitmo, and domestic spying: a black and an woman should be the favorites to succeed you.

i also dont like hillary because shes stiff. stiffness used to mean that you were hiding something.

people didnt used to like al gore because he was stiff. turned out what he was hiding was all his radness. people dont call al gore stiff any more.

when barack wins al gore should be the environment tsar, bill clinton should be nominated for the supreme court, and al sharpton should be the press secretary.

and i suppose that at some time i should go to chicago and blog about it all.

we both had the trout. crazy assed tyson beckford was standing at the corner waiting for someone to pick him up.

he had a weird goatee like beard. like a zz top beard that got shrunk in the dryer.

we had to look at him like eighty times to see if it was really him or not but he has so many tattoos that i was certain after the first twenty times.

karisa said i dont show enough videos on here.

shes all you know way more about music than you lead on in your writing. let the people know about all the sorta unheard music.

so this is m ward. hes gonna be playing here in LA next week. victoria williams is gonna play with him.

tonight the shins play for free at amoeba records, so i hafta write about that over at LAist now. pardon me.

done

duh. so when a major television network asked me to audition for a show theyre about to do, even though i am not at all interested in being “talent”, even though im not interested in being on the money side of the camera, i shaved my head nice last night, i went to bed early last night (315am) i woke up early this morn (7am) and i shaved off my chicago bears beard

and i went oh 15 minutes away from my home to a studio in hollywood.

i got the rundown, i went to hair and makeup – ha. i sat in front of the green screen.

i did something. i wouldnt call it “my thing”. although i had all intention to go in there and “do my thing” i sorta acted like the warner bros. frog when the box is open – i clammed up. i searched. i faked. i fucked up.

your boy isnt gonna be a tv star. at least for that show. i did see some other LA bloggers. some very very famous ones. i saw a super hot chick. i saw a few homosexuals. i saw a guy i thought i knew from E! but nah.

and then it was over. it was early morning and i was done for the day. actors have it horrible.

it was still early enough to get breakfast at mcdonalds and already i had failed.

this is why they did drugs.

this is why they hump federlines.

sometimes the camera turns on and youve got nothing so why not climb in bed with a kfed who you know will make you feel superior, since you are.

and for the first time i missed not having the eurogirl to feel good about.

her hair is everywhere. some of her crap too.

friday morning and nothing to do.

in the audition was a man from chicago and we talked bears football. this has been the most wonderful surprise season.

a year ago superbowl i was making out with a girl from columbia or chile or madagascar. she was so cute. a year ago today we had gone to a bar and we drank from daylight to when the bartender cut me off.

she was the craziest girl i have gone out with in a year and i miss her the most.

even though she was violent and not that hot on paper but for some reason we totally clicked perfect and maybe thats what im lookin for on eharmony but im not so hot on paper neither so there have been no love connections on that front.

i just got invited to something sponsored by budweiser tonight.

hey karisa just invited me to lunch which is sponsored by LAist.

the days lookin up.

i can barely see enought to html. my laptop is doing that thing where it will magically highlight a nice long sentence and replace it with the last letter that you type.

everything is trying to make me come to bed, even the faint snore of a eurogirl who has overkept her welcome or however you say it.

im stoned and tired and drunk and sore.

she got on top of me and started pushing down hard. fast. hard.

her hair fell perfectly around her face like a perfect shower can do.

i am the luckiest in the world. i know it. lets just try to ignore it some more.

its 317am and LAist has 13 stories finished and ready to post for “tomorrow”. movable type has this thing where you can “schedule” your post. something i adore. blogger doesnt have it yet, far as i know. not the one i use at least. but i dont care about that, we dont need that shit here, but on LAist, we totally do. because it lets the posts just flow nicely.

you can go back there throughout the day and theres always something new up on that shit.

and when you have your morning and most of your early afternoon all laid out, you can fill in the blanks as breaking news happens.

or you can sleep in.

or you can sleep until 10am as a practice for friday when you have to wake up at 8am.

make that 7am, because i have to be at a tv studio at 845am because i have an audition that im ashamed about so lets not talk about that neither.

i just wanna be like the GM for the Chicago Bears. do you know his name?

hes the guy who built the team and you know, got them into the Super Bowl.

i love putting good people together.

a few hours ago we got on the front page of Digg. a little story about why one of our writers still likes Netflix over Blockbuster. it’s good, it’s simple, it’s accurate, its written well. but its the last story youd think would ever get dugg.

but its the second one that got dugg on LAist this week.

second in two days, as a matter of fact.

Jerry Angelo is the GM of the Chicago Bears.

yesterdays LAist:
Raymi Reviews the Badly Drawn Boy CD
Clippers Beat Bucks
Crazy Bungee Cord Video
Destiny’s Child Sings the National Anthem
Any time you have a story about the La Brea Tar Pits, its a good day
Believe in Miracles and Reverse Graffiti
What If Dakota Fanning Got Raped And Nobody Cared?
Amy Jo Goddard’s Top 10 Sex Paraphernalia for the Adventuresome Spirit of any Orientation
LAist Cartoons: What is Paula Thinking?
John Mellencamp: “Chevrolet actually has been a better record company to me than Columbia ever was“
Clippers MidSeason Report
Why Netflix Still Kicks Blockbuster’s Ass
American Idol Review
TV Junkie
Living In Sin: Good Sex, Bad Frat Boy
Awesome interview with the LA Department of Neighborhood Empowerment
Tonight in Rock: Deerhoof, GZA, Gram Rabbit, whose video you should see
To get a better LA subway you need a plan, here’s the plan
Van Halen gets its David Lee Roth back
Video of a Burbank Man Catching an AT&T Worker Stealing Oranges from a homeowner’s tree

or the second biggest month. thats a nice done-deal going into the last week of the month.

i write you at 2:19am on wednesday morning. im watching the end of the first quarter of the bears saints game. i may watch this game every day for the next week and a half.

i seriously cant believe the bears have such a great shot at winning the superbowl. im scared that theyre playing indy but im glad theyre playing indy cuz indys good and peyton has a good reason to try to win and if the bears win they will have beaten NO who were America’s Team and they would have beaten indy who probably has the best qb in football.

if only we could fuck up the field in miami as much as it was fucked up at soldier field.

we had 19 posts at LAist yesterday and id gladly put them up against the last 19 posts that similar blogs put up there yesterday:

1. God Hates a Fag, the Video – banned by youtube
2. Virgin Territory: Reality game show where the winner loses his cherry to a celebrity or a porn star – Jenna and Paris have been contacted
3. LA Voice is looking for a new editor and other news
4. Person makes a ten minute movie about a finger monkey who wakes up and reads LAist and then has a trippy experience induced somewhat by cheese
5. LAist Guide to State of the Union Drinking Games
6. LA Author Susan Patron wins the Newbery Medal
7. New Music Tuesday: of Montreal, Deerhoof, The Shins, The Pharcyde, White Lion
8. 1001 Reasons LA is Better than Florida: #63 Two-time NASCAR champ pulled out his dipstick and peed on a car in a Daytona Beach parking garage
9. Jeremy Dawson of Shiny Toy Guns’ Top 10 CDs of 2006 – plus two videos of the same song
10. Tonight in Rock in LA – Emily Haines, The Nightwatchman, Midnight Movies, Dar Williams, Tall Firs
11. TV Junkie is one of those special daily treats at LAist
12. Shop Intuition – Get Nicole Richie’s look
13. Ask the MACist – Google Mail love
14. We’re doing cartoons now at LAist
15. My favorite post of the day was a bunch of the contributers and editors listed what they’re listening to right now.
16. Zuma Dogg is asking you to pay him to shut up and other AM news
17. Anti Interviews Jets Overload
18. At 6am every morning we put up a video of someone singing the National Anthem. Yesterday we had Marvin Gaye singing it at the Forum
19. Kobe’s 1 year anniversary of his 81 point game and other LA Sports Action

or at least not betting with you at bars…

im not sure ive yet recovered.

they say today is the saddest day of the year, but if youre a bears fan today is the best day of the year. today is the day you get to wear a bears tshirt or shirt or sweatshirt or hat

or rubber.

today was the last day of the euroteen so we drove around melrose trying to find the condom store cuz i wanted to see if they had any chicago bears ones.

negatory, as she says.

today i have to get the keg out of welch’s back yard, i have to book my hotel for sxsw, i have to answer a gazillion emails because ive been distracted, and i have to tell you about this dude in that video.

hes crazy. steve albini is into him. he basically created sufjan. hes a religious fantatic like i am. he can get people to stay years of their lives just hanging out with him.

he sings like the dude in that one band.

he will make you happy today.

stoke anti and LAist: digg this story anti did of interviewing a marijuana card holder

miami here we come