the magical little place in my apartment that used to be what emmanuelle called the makeout room back in the day. when shira got this place she put bookshelves in it, and when ken layne had this place he put a laptop on one of the shelves, and when i moved here five years ago i put a full blown computer in it and here i write you and im avoiding something i have to write for the austin chronicle and im avoiding telling you about last night

because when i write about it it will be over and i dont ever want it to be over but today is presidents day and honest abe would write it and george washington would write about it and then chop down a cherry tree so here goes.

yesterday i picked up my true love at shiras house and we drove to burbank to Fry’s Electronics to get her a solar generator for her ipod and her other devices when she goes to deepest darkest africa next week. we also went there to get me a power converter for when i go to deepest darkest amsterdam today.

because she had been shopping for clothes that would be easy to wash up against rocks she was tired of roaming ill-marked aisles and she had a little freakout but the reason shes my truest is because she and i know how to handle each other when we’re freaking out. heres my trick: whisper. for when you whisper the other person has to come closer to you to hear you and when she gets closer i kiss her cheek.

she no longer has those sorts of feelings for me but we hold hands and last night we went to a romantical italian place in south pasedena whose portions were large but whose service was so bad that i only left a 16% tip. but we had red wine and pasta and held hands as the candles flickered and she wept a little and i said its ok baby its ok.

then we drove home on the twisty turny 110 to the hollywood freeway and i started a roaring fire and we cuddled up under blankets and i went through my tv showing her matisyahu on letterman, some weirdo piano playing crazy man on visiting with huell houser, campus ladies my favorite new tv show, various daily show episodes, and angelina jolie talking about the motherland.

then we adjourned to my bedroom and cuddled and talked until 3:30am and i finally had to tell her to hush cuz i was falling asleep and i didnt want her to think i wasnt listening. and we held each other and slept all twisted and it was just like the olden days when we had done that for years after years after years except this time it didnt begin and end with a good olde fashioned romp.

little tone kept poking her in the back because he was sure he knew this lass but fortunately she didnt notice or was bothered because she backed up into it and stayed there until the phone woke us up in the morn because my phone has a nasty habit of ringing off the hook.

it was very sweet last night and it was even sweeter this morn as i told her that i didnt care that she didnt love me as much as i loved her because if she had we’d be like lots of our friends and shed be knocked up or would had squeezed one out and that little angel would have been awake by now and we would have to run around after him or her and she wouldnt be on her way to africa and i wouldnt be on my way to europe.

so i told her that if something happens to her in africa and she sees the light and chooses to come back to me that we can adopt one of those who already knows how to fix its own breakfast and hopefully will be so grateful not to be where it once was that it will keep quiet until poppy says its ok to be a kid and scream and yell and try to ride its big wheel around our tiny apartment.

she said tony im never going to marry you. and i said shhh shhh baby youre delirious, shhhhh.

ive learned never to take no for an answer. all no is is “im not there yet.” and the key word is yet. or its the Lord saying, dude as soon as you get off her ive got two laker girls im dying to fix you up with. two, fool!

but love is blind, and dumb and deaf, and even though this girl has been saying no i mean not yet for years and years its not like i havent met the lord halfway by accepting clipper girls. maybe i dont want the laker girls because then i will marry one and that would mean that this chapter of my life would be over and i dont want it to be over because it was the longest and the weirdest and the one that i loved the most because the communication was almost espish mostly because of the whisper trick and dozens more like it.

i just walked in on her in the shower to get one last look.

and normally i have no idea why anyone would be jealous of anything about me, but if you just saw what i just saw you would be hella jealous.

above are africans who put leaves in their headbands for good luck. but as a Christian i will be praying for her every night, and i invite you all to do the same with me.

Rachel asks, If you could relive one memory all over again, which would it be, and why?

many moons ago when i was a senior at ucsb i had a love hate relationship with the editor-in-chief of the college paper, the daily nexus. he hated me and i loved me.

we had run against each other for the top job and i lost by one vote. my entire platform was “i may not be the best, but im better than that jackass.” for some reason he chose to take it deeply personal and never chose to forgive me. he even made me interview for the job that i would have easily gotten if i had never ran for EIC, that of the Arts & Entertainment Editor.

a job that i got after the interview.

i had one rule as the Editor of the arts desk: get your story in on time, and if youre late not only will it not run but you cant write anything for Arts for one week. so basically if youre late youre blackballed for two weeks.

late stories were the only thing that slowed up our incredibly powerful machine and with a rule like that i was able to lay things out creatively with my assistant editor and photo editor and illustration editor, and i was able to produce kickass sections.

one day the EIC asked to review something and he was late. so i reminded him about my only rule and he wanted to bicker and fight with me but i said dude if there are exceptions to the rule then my section will fall apart and it will be your fault. so no you cant review Sinband’s comedy stylings next week and we cant run your movie review about the Neverending Story Part II this week.

i was fired that night.

a few months later i snuck into the office to ask his best friend, pat whalen, brother of Tsar singer jeff, if my sections had been entered into CIPA, the california intercollegiate press association awards, a competition that we at the nexus cared alot about. he said no. i asked him if it was too late to get my stuff entered. he said if we do it by tomorrow you’ll be in.

so pat, god bless him, convinced the eic to enter my stuff over my assistant editor’s entry on the grounds that he was a junior and would have a chance the following year.

the nexus had never won Best Arts in california. and a few months later i attended the awards with the rest of my friends and cohorts in sacramento. i was just falling in love with jeanine. we all wore dresses to the award ceremony, as was our semi-rude tradition. and that night i won best arts editor with the thunderous applause of my coworkers who knew the drama well and with pat whalen yelling “irony of ironies!”

i would relive that memory because my two loves: editing and romantic love were at its peak. and the only thing i would change is id have made my dress a little shorter cuz i never looked that fit again.

Mimi asks when are you coming to savannah?

my grandparents on my mother’s side lived in fort valley georgia for a very long time. and i would like to see mrs bunny mcintosh in her natural environment. so yes i would like to visit the red clay hills of georgia again soon and party with some southern belles and sweet peaches.

if i had my way id travel everywhere that i was welcomed.

erin asks If you were the person who made up the fortune cookie fortunes, what would you write?

i’d write things like, “youre not fat” “youre smarter than you think” “youre not insane” “more people love you than you know” or “you should play with yourself more”

Debbie asks, Vanilla, Chocolate or Strawberry?

chocolate chocolate chocolate

Josh Kinniard asks, Where do you see you taking yourself in the future, do you feel a necessity to give something to the world and if you do what does this consist of and what are the prerequisite/s, do you ever question your own justifications, how many blog characters do you have and if you choose not to answer any of these questions will you justify that decision with an explaination and/or acknowledge the audience if anything answered is untrue?

even though i believe we have free will, i dont think that in my life at least, that i have been the master of my own destiny. so im willing to go whereever this road is leading and i will call bullshit on certain roadside attractions but i dont feel like im in total control of everything that crosses my path.

i feel a necessity to give everything to the world, meaning all of my thoughts, all of my lessons that ive learned, all of the advice that might be helpful to others, all of the respect that people deserve, and all of the criticism that others havent yet heard.

even though my blog states that “nothing in here is true” i dont feel like ive used it as a sheild or a crutch. rarely will you hear me cop out with that line. usually if i say it, its as a preface before i write something truly true that nobody would believe.

for example, i have had sexual relations with some celebrities. and i am not handsome, rich, powerful, or attractive. therefore if im going to write something about that experience i will start it off by saying… “because nothing in here is true i can tell you that last night i…”

the tagline then becomes a shield for the young lady who when asked if she was indeed with me can say, “you know nothing in his blog is true. lets go to kitsons.”

Fred asks Gay Marriage? Yes or No?

if gays cant get married then nobody should be allowed to get married.

joe asks, will you smoke copius amounts of… nahh… in amster…nahh.

i live in a city where the highest quality of nahh flows through endlessly. i didnt quit smoking it because i was bored or nervous or paranoid or losing my job. i quit because it didnt work on me any more. ive been to holland before. ive tried their best shit and their best shit is as good as our best shit. which means it wont work on me.

if the cannibis cup wants me as a judge id be perfect because i could smoke all day and never get high and id be able to tell you which tasted good, which smelled good, which gave me a headache, and which sorta got me high.

if someone approaches me and says, tony come on, smoke this its really different than anything youve ever had then maybe i will sample it because i wouldnt want to be rude, but no im not going to go out of my way to give myself a headache or make myself drowsy doing something that i know wont send me to that “better” place like it once did.

i now get high off life. and beer. and hot babes.

JaG asks, What are we going to do in Amsterdam next week?

eat drink and be merry.

Jack Bog asks, Shaved or unshaved?

if a lady shaves, fine. if she doesnt, fine. even though im 113 yrs old i still feel like im 17 aka just lucky to be there. so i couldnt care less whats going on down there as long as its there for me.

if your question is am i shaved or unshaved… recently i had a young lady ask me to shave down there and i told her that me and my nuts have a long standing agreement – i wont put sharp objects near it as long as it never goes on strike when i need it most.

never have we failed on our ends of the bargain for the exception of one night when i was on e and lil tone tapped out despite the handiwork being performed by the young nude japanese lass. but there will be no scissors blades or chemicals near the family jewels. if that means i miss out on some action then i guess i will have to make due with the other 3.6 million runway models of los angeles.

jessica asks, do you ever see yourself getting married?

yes, with five or six open minded ladies just like you.

it just dawned on me that i will be jetting off the day after tomorrow so lets try to get things planned for our meetup(s).

monday is a travel day and tuesday i will either be hung over jet lagged or bum rushed by the poets priests and politicians. so lets say on wednesday, humpday, there will be an official buzznet busblog blogger meetup at the De Bierkoning which is at Paleisstraat 125, 1012 RK Amsterdam. they claim to have one of the largest selections of beer in the world at over 750 beers, so i figure thats a good place to start a party. 8pm

because i have heard tell that some europeans would like to travel to amsterdam to meet me, we should also have a meet up on Saturday night as well.

so on Saturday lets meet at ‘t Arendsnest home of 350 dutch beers. people talk shit about most dutch beers but those are people who usually order Bud at TGIF. when im in a foreign land i like to taste the foreign brews. ‘t Arendsnest is at Herengracht 90, 1015BS, Amsterdam. 8pm.

if youre going to be at either of these events, please rsvp to me at tony at buzznet dot com so i can know to be somewhere else if no one can make one of these.

also be warned, i can drink.

know two things about me, i went to college at ucsb, the university of isla vista. and my hero is mr charles bukowski.

i didnt stop smoking pot because of any moral or social or legal reasons, i quit because it stopped working on me, so i wont be bothering myself with that nonesense. therefore if you are meeting me at a pub get ready to drink because if there are 350 dutch brews in the hizzie im gonna want to come back home with a greater understanding of how dutch beer diffrenciates from the rest of the worlds’ brews.

if for some reason you cant keep up with me and you have the urge to hurl, please dont be embarrassed, let nature take its course, just please dont expunge on me. and if youre going to kiss me after your little accident please make sure to eat a mint first. my pallet is quite sensitive.

tonight im hosting a party for my longest lasting girlfriend. ms christina spurnikova, pictured. she and i were together for almost five years. because she has a heart of gold and ideals that are like very few others she is going to move to africa to volunteer with the Peace Corps.

she was accepted a few months ago and theyre shipping her out in a matter of weeks, so she came down to LA to say goodbye to her friends here as she will be in Uganda for two and a half years.

ms spurnikova taught me so much i cant even scratch the surface in this post. but here are a few bulletpoints. she taught me to forget any ideas i had about bodyshapes eyecolors or hairstyles. she taught me how to see peoples hearts. she taught me how to believe in my ideals and not think that they were silly. she taught me how to kiss all night and she also taught me how to hold hands in every situation.

we went to europe twice, we went to every mall in northern california, we lived in three different apartments, we volunteered for various causes, we had very high highs and not many lows at all.

in fact it was with her that i had some of my deepest spiritual moments including the time that i read the new testament and decided that the story of the rich prince was something i should embrace and i sold all of my shit and i hit the road to see where the Lord would take me. he took me here to LA and i ended up making more money and having more success than i ever expected even though all i applied for were $10 an hour jobs.

i started blogging because of her, i started businesses because of her, i grew up because of her. i cannot imagine a better ambassador for what America could be like than her, so americans, consider yourself well represented.

there might be a time soon where i will ask you to chip in to help buy her some supplies or to help her fund small projects in africa. i hope that you will join me in sharing some of our riches with the very poor of the dark continent.

tonight we will drink in santa monica with her friends and tomorrow we will shop at home depot and in a few weeks she will be half way around the world and i will miss her dearly.

if there are soul mates, she is mine. even if she wants to pretend that im not hers. no one said soul mates have to agree on every little detail.

unrelated: matt good invited me to blog with him and two others at thought mechanics and i said oui

was a fella named ev who sold his three and a half year old company, Blogger, to Google and got to announce it live from the blogoshpere in a packed crowd of hipsters and nerds in an overflow event on a sidestreet in Chinatown.

wanna know how cool ev is?

motherfucker’s sitting three chairs over from me, theres hundreds of people looking at him, but they are slightly distracted by another member of the panel who’s discussing the world of blogging. the attention comes back to Ev and he says, “oh, can someone put my blog on the screen again please, im sorry.”

fucker had gotten a call on his cellphone, but, being the gentleman didn’t answer it. instead, he checked his email via the wireless network that was in the building, updated his blog live and linked to the silconvalley.com column that broke the story that Google was buying Pyra Labs, the San Fransisco company behind Blogger.

and then he told us.

everyone cheered, as Ev was answering what was announced to be the last question of the two hour discussion that included Doc Searls, Heather from the Rabbit blog, Boing Boing’s founder Mark Frauenfelder, the Reverse Cowgirl Susannah Breslin, and yours truly who didn’t say fuck even once.

that’s the only reason that i can figure that the los angeles times reporter who was assigned to cover the Live from the Blogoshpere story chose to interview me directly after the incredibly wonderful event, instead of talking to the only person in the house who has suddenly become a millionaire and a validated success right before our eyes.

while wearing a blogger tshirt.

while looking reportedly so cute that my ex, chris, and my laywer giggled the whole night and snapped picture after picture of him and blushed and covered their mouths with their hands.

It was the coolest culmination and synchronicity, wirelessness, and instantaneous publishing.
– evan williams2/16/03 1:28pm

why is that quote on the busblog and not in today’s sunday la times? and why isn’t it on latimes.com?

la times got to read Dan Gilmore’s scoop before it even went to press! they were in the house! the story was there. the founder of the company was there. lots of other sources were there too. i would imagine that the la times had a camera and were taking pictures of the event, including when the founder made his grand announcement on this, his first trip to Los Angeles.

“see what happens when you come to LA,” i shouted in the microphone a few seconds after he broke the news to us all.

if you want to know why Google bought Blogger look no further than this very story.

Dan Gilmore published his scoop at 7:41pm on his blog, Ev linked to it on his blog at 9:10pm, metafilter published the link to Gilmore’s story at 10:08pm, followed by Ken Layne, and then Azeem Azhar, Rick Bruner, Henry Copeland, Anil Dash, Nick Denton, Jeff Jarvis, Shelley Powers, Mitch Ratcliffe, Emmanuelle Richard, Matt Webb, Slashdot, and even Chinese bloggers.

Still, because no major news source other than the SJ Mercury (who Gilmore writes for) has published the story, Google’s (beta) News page only ranks it as the number 2 result, even though it’s own data says that the Merc’s story is fresher than the link that is getting the #1 return.

The value of Blogger to Google is, if Google had a faster access to blogs, it would have seen all the activity (above) pointing to Gilmore’s blog, and to the Merc article, and to Ev’s page and would have basically figured out that it’s news.

Right now, even though the humans running it know that it’s news, their own computers don’t even know that it is happening.

So what’s the LA Times’ excuse?

They were there.

And so was MC Brown who takes wonderful pictures, except when theyre of me.

Thanks to Michael August Pusateri who took a great picture of me (above, speaking on the panel) feeling on top of the world, stoked to finally meet so many people who i admire and who’s blogs i read.

Thanks to everyone who were nice enough to come up and said hi to me, thanks to the nice ladies who invited me to speak with such excellent and smart adults, and thanks for my pals for eating slippery shrimp before and getting drunk with me after.

It was a night i wont soon forget.

Doc Searls

the comments are the best part

Isla Palma asks, Geez Tony, why do you have to go all psycho kick-ass medieval on the guy. I thought you were better than that. Take a chill pill and go enjoy Holland on their tin dutch dime. Just be sure to tell all your loyal readers all about it. Thanks!

I went all psycho kick-ass medival on the guy for several reasons, the biggest being thats what i do to haters in the busblog, and its worked. if you read through the comments of this blog you wont see a lot of hating, which isnt because i delete comments its because its been established here that the comments are a place to tell me that you love me and/or ask questions. also its been established that haters rarely can write better than me so if you want to come into my house and try to outwit outwrite and outbash youre going to have a very difficult time winding up unscathed – so dont even try.

my favorite nba player is shaq. shaq doesnt need to elbow people in the neck or use his godgiven talents to intimidate and cheat but when he does it he sets the tone that the paint is his. that hes the head nbaer in charge. that you arent going to leave miami with just a tan if you try to step to deisel, that youre going to go home with some bruises and some notsofond memories.

my friend matt good gets haters in his comments and instead of fighting them he sometimes lets them get under his skin. i try to advise him that hes soooo much smarter than them and hes so much better at writing than them, that he should win every battle. but for some reason he was born more of a sensitive poet than i and refuses to pull out the mortal kobat finishing move when the red light is flashing.

i say hit it when its time and we all know when its time.

plus its fun.

plus its funny.

plus i have no patience for jealousy or people telling me that im a sellout or people telling me that they know more about blogging or blogging ethics than i do. fuckin im mr transparency and im super proud to be one of the 25 people who are being asked by Holland.com and Blogads to go to Amsterdam. i get far fewer hits than lots of those people, in some cases 10 times less. so to be invited there shows that its not just about clicks of an ad but its about tastemakers, influencers, and legit bloggers who are known for their integrity and style.

as for me being “better than that” or in need of a “chill pill”, im not better than anything. im a flawed, defensive, bitter, old man. im not better than anyone. if anything im worse.

im not a gentleman, im not a role model, im not a politically correct representative, im tony pierce who writes on the busblog two times a day and if some rightwing fraud with a fake email address calls me out as a sellout poised to whore out something or someplace that he doesnt believe in for a few bucks or a free vacation then im going to set the record straight the same way shaq sets shit straight in the lane during the playoffs.

subtlety is for poetry, piano playing, and eating pussy.

and sometimes to blog means to bash.

the known universe + mindless bullshit + nothing can stop gilliam from fighting the good fight

at ameoba

both from a faker named Rufus

1. Tony, it’s very disappointing that you would refer to Brooke Burke as a “piece of ass.” Not that she isn’t, but a cool man of your character would not need to reduce her to those terms. You love women, as do I–don’t you see this?

-Rufus

dont lie. why must you lie in the holy grounds of the busblog comments? you lie when you say youre disappointed, you lie when you say your email address is rufus@rufus.com, you lie with your fake blog address, you lie when i called Brooke a “piece of ass”.

clearly i called her a peice of ass. i cant spell nor do i care to. so if you are going to quote me with quotation marks quote properly.

now to the point, faker, liar, fraud…

Brooke Burke is a peice of ass, and a piece of ass. you wouldnt know because you didnt work with her for nearly four years, but i did. and i can tell you from one man to another that Brooke Burke is a peice of ass.

yes shes talented, yes shes smart, yes shes saavvy, yes she has a killer voice and shes hung in there after knocking out two kids, but shes also a hot peice of hot ass.

now if you want to pretend Rufus that youre not a pig deep down or that we’re not bros and we cant talk to each other on the bro-level then fine, and fuck you, i wouldnt want to talk to you. one reason people like, strike that, love the busblog is that we keep it real here.

real names
real email addys
real blog urls

and real thoughts. now blow me and click off to some bullshit PC fakeout blog if you dont like it here.

2. Tony, a question I would really like to see you address: don’t you think you are comprosing blogger ethics by accepting this trip to Holland? I mean, it’s very clear that they want favorable coverage in exchange for plane+hotel bills. You’re abiding them in their quest….Isn’t this what Congressman do all the time for their lobbyists, and what we denounce them for?

I await your response.

Not only am i not comprosing blogger ethics by accepting this trip to Holland but im not compromising it either.

infact if i do this right i will be paving the way for more bloggers to go on similar excursions.

im not sure how well versed you are in the arrangement that me and the other 24 bloggers have set up with Holland.com aka the Dutch government, and not that its any of your business, and its not that bloggers have any blanket ethics anyways, particularily blogs badass enough to remind people that “nothing in here is true”

and by “here” of course i mean the Internet

but basically Holland.com, yes, is flying us to Amsterdam for free and putting us up in a Five Star hotel and giving us a bicycle and some passes to museums, etc

in exchange for that they get a month-long ad on our blogs and a button that is to stay up for one year.

now i dont know about your blog but on this one a month long ad goes for $302. the taxable price of the airplane ticket and the hotel, etc, is roughly $1k, so the question is is a yearly-long link to Holland.com worth $698?

i think so.

therefore if i never write a word about my trip, about Holland, or about Amsterdam then we’re even.

which is probably why the agreement says that I dont have to write a word about shit in regards to Amsterdam.

now… would they like a good review? sure, and im sure you would like not to come across as a cocksucking asswipe, but sometimes shit gets fucked.

i have written this blog for close to five years. i have posted 3,779 blog posts. that would be like posting once a day, every day, for ten years.

i would not have the hits i have, i would not have the fans i have, i would not have the hotties writing my name on their bodies if i was as full of shit as you are, which is why Holland.com chose me and not you

because if tony pierce says that amsterdam was the shit, then it was the shit and you can count on it.

so no, i think that in no way are my ethics or bloggers’ eithics are compromised in any way by me taking a trip instead of cash to let the good people of Holland.com advertise on my humble blog

infact i thank them.

shooting someone in the face and sorta wussing out by not releasing the news that the vice president shot someone in the face, and heart, and not just anyone, but an old man

who then had a heartattack.

this while alcohol was in the vice president’s system. yes the vp who has had two dui’s.

but to me the real scandal involved Brooke Burke, the curvy model and former E! Wild On babe who has recently appeared in several Burger King ads (and in romantic positions with the king of the flame grilled sandwiches) including the grand one-minute spectacular that was seen in this months Super Bowl ads where she played the crown of the model-filled Whopper.

the scandal that is sure to overshadow the vice president drunkenly shooting an old man in the face and heart and then covering it up is that ms. Burke was filmed leaving the McDonalds in Malibu right off the PCH, raising several questions

1) how on earth does such a peice of ass keep that shape while eating at mickey d’s?

2) wouldnt you think that the BK Lounge would give her all the free fast food that
she would want – even if she wasnt the current spokesmodel for the restaurant chain?

3) how many times do you think the suits at McDonald’s are singing “im loving it”?

but alas, as a fast food expert and someone well-versed in the drivethru establishments of Malibu, i think that Brooke experienced a dilema in that there are no BK Lounges in the coastside incorporation.

if my memory serves me correctly, unless there is an Burger King right outside the Malibu Colony, i dont think there are any other choices for a swimsuit model to get her grease on other than Jack in the Box and McDonalds.

however if need be, i am willing to stand corrected if someone has different information.

but perhaps all of this is a signal that there is a split between Burger King and Brooke or THE Burger King and what we all thought was a romantic involvement with the asian calandar star who recently divorced her bel air plastic surgeon husband of many years.

and if that is true then perhaps there is a bachelorette back on the market, and if thats the case let me state right now ms burke, if you choose to ride the busblog once i come back from holland, please know that special orders dont upset us, and you of all people can have it your way.

from the good readers

Luke demands, There better be a Buzznet event in the Detroit area.

I’ve been to Detroit once. Actually I only spent time in the airport. It was small, dirty, dumb-looking, and i couldnt wait to get the hell out of there.

that was years ago.

since then blogging happened and ive come across some people who id like to meet who live in the motor city. id prefer to meet them anywhere other than there, but if the bosses tell me im going to detroit then im going to detroit.

until then see you in amsterdam next week and austin next month.

fat free milk asks “Will I get home early from work tonight?”

no you will have to stay late to fill out the tps reports and some dickwad is going to take your red stapler.

Ben Allbright asks, 1. are you going to raymi’s red blog party?

2. who is currently kicking the most ass in your fantasy basketball leagues?

3. what is the appropriate amount of love to show you for linking Op:Cb?

4. If you were featured on celebrity death match, which blogger would you most see yourself fighting?

1. fuck canada, fuck red things, and fuck raymi.

just kidding.

no, i live in america, we have parties down here that i have to attend.

2. ive been playing fantasy sports for far too long to admit to. ive found that homosexuals generally place the highest in the standings. as a friend to the same-sex lovers, i go out of my way to invite them into my league because i crave competition.

last i checked, southern fried butt pirates are winning all my leagues – but its not even the all star break yet so dont get too cocky armyboy.

3. Operation Comeback is one of the coolest ideas that ive seen come to fruition on the blogosphere. it’s a blog written by veterans of this unjust war who have returned home, designed by peace activist matthew good.

as someone who truly does support the troops, it’s my pleasure to support that blog and it’s not you who should show me love for linking to it, its we who should show love to the men and women who have risked their lives while serving in the military.

although thanks to raspberry sundae you now know how i feel about plaid skirts and fan signs. or you can give me the number of that teenager who wanted to make out with me at the matt good show but i was too busy letting you make out with her and her friend.

4. in celebrity death match i would like to fight bunny mcintosh. not because i would want to harm her in any way, but i know that death is inevitable and when i go i hope its at the hand of a superhot redhead with a pistol given to her by her new groom.

timmay asks, how come you never post videos directly to your blog?

believe it or not but i get a lot of traffic on here. and buzznet is only in beta for video. not only am i not ready to have my blog crash because hundreds of people at a time decide to look at a video embedded on my blog, but im sorta old school and im still trying to master this still picture + words thing.

and i like to see how many visitors actually do follow the link to the videos on buzznet when i send people there. and you cant get those numbers if you embed your vid.

Jaromir Blagr asks, Which is the mightiest of all beasts of the forest?

some say the lion is the king of the jungle. not so. he’s loud and scary and strong but hes neither the fastest nor the loudest nor the mightiest.

some say a woman scorned is the mightiest of all the beasts but thats only on Springer.

shaq driving the lane off a high screen used to be pretty fightening but he’s lost a step after years of being hack-a-shaqed

so i will have to say theres nothing mightier than an elephant whose brute force and stomping abilities can take on a pack of lions a school of tigers or even a full court press of the detroit pistons on the road.

g-man tries to stir shit up by asking, what is your favorite blog?

it used to be flagrant but her tiny type is buggin.

its not fun. its not funny.

it also used to be raymi but now that shes dumbing down her content with constant interviews with that dipshit merkly im starting to feel like perhaps shes jumped the shark

the pants is always entertaining, my girl raspberry knows how to stroke my ego, fil is solid, and metafilter always always has something entertaining, but id have to say that my favorite blog changes weekly.

i think if some people posted more theyd be my fave, if others had more pics theyd be my fave, and if some truly went for it theyd be my fave and by went for it i mean exposed their Hearts, fucking open wide

erin the oakparkmastermind was blogger of the week last week and her pal jessica came in second.

the busblog was somewhere in the rear.

Grace asks 1. Next time you’re in Vancouver, will you contact me so I can buy you a beer or three? I promise not to take advantage of you.

2. How great is the sport of hockey?

3. In a death match between Chad Ciavarro and Patrick Pitt, how badly would Pitt pummel Chad back into a fetus form?

4. How many sexual partners have you had?

1. the next time im in vancouver i want to drink beer all day and all night at that moose place that jenny good recommended and that me chad and ben drank at with mike. then im gonna go back to the only place ive ever eaten sushi across from the commodore and drink more beer. then im going to puke on granville in front of a cop cuz thats what youre apparently supposed to do. then im going to eat a pizza and kiss you on the lips with my puke face in front of your man.

2. hockey is the greatest sport of all time. seriously. those fuckers skate around super fast and bash each other and try to put that little puck in that little gap while getting bashed even more. i grew up in chicago. all my friends played hockey. i sat in the stands and hit on the girls and bought everyone hot chocolate. even at that young age i realized the importance of staying away from big dudes with sticks flying around on ice. so i have all the respect in the world for hockey players. the only athletes in their realm of coolness are austrailain rules footballers who wear no pads and have the coolest looking officials.

3. pitt is fat and halfgay. he doesnt want to pummel anyone he wants to wrestle and get felt up. chad is threequartergay and likes to be the girl so it will just turn into a makeout session, as usual.

4. i have ten more to go before i hang up the astroglide.

for yr ass

ive told you day after day that every day this month has just been weirder and stranger and worse and better than the next. sometimes in the same hour. sometimes in the same moment.

sex cant cure it but i had some good sex this month. money cant fix things but ive been rich and poor within the same week. only faith can guide you only the Lord can save you.

wait, they dont love you like i love you.

and here it is valentines day, what should be a happy day, what should be a day that a libra man on the scorpio cusp should have five six ladies waiting around the block with candy boxes and pink champagne waiting to see who’ll get picked and be your american idol.

unsom wants to know about the legal proceeding. i just got off the phone with my attorney and she told me that the case has been officially dropped.

long story short my landlord wanted to try to figure out a way to kick me out of my apartment but he picked the lamest thing: he picked my satelite dish which is on my porch.

not only that but he chose to serve me my three day notice while i was on christmas vacation. like a punk.

he knew that was the right time to do it because i had paid my rent two weeks early because i didnt know if i would be back on the first and i wanted to be a good tenant.

so even though that dish has been on that porch since before he even bought the place he thought that a jury would side with him that somehow i had broken the lease and he could kick me out and charge double for this stylin bachelor pad.

so i unloaded two g’s for the best non-entertainmet lawyer in santa monica to tell him that it wasnt a fire hazzard, it wasnt a nuisance, and here were pictures of that dish there in 2001, 2002, 2003 and a year ago. infact heres a letter you wrote tony in 2003 asking him to move his dish then to which he promptly called you and said wtf that things been there since day one.

oh and heres the directv bills since 2001 showing uninterrupted service and if youre going to say that it used to be somewhere else, then its on you to tell us why on earth he would have it somewhere else only to move it to the porch where it only looks ugly and is inconvienent for chinese food and hotties who want to guess the secret knock for entrance in the middle of the night?

when his lawyer got all that info he advised his client to drop the case because not only would he lose but he’d have to pay the court case and my lawyer.

my landlord has taken several of my neighbors to court over the years and usually lost. in fact the only case he won was in kicking out a woman because she had a few more dogs in her pad than legal and im sure hes super proud about that one – kicking out a woman because she couldnt or wouldnt find a place to unload her adult dogs that people generally dont want.

because of his history i never thought that he would drop the case so i thought by this time i would have won the case and got my two grand back, but sadly he merely dropped it so i get no financial retrobution.

which is part of the bizarre good news bad news of this month. good news you win bad news now youre broke. for a little while. right before you go to holland and right before you head to austin.

i know im being tested. i know it because although this should be the most drama in my life its merely the tip of the deadly iceberg and not only is the titanic capable of sinking but mighty casey might strike out.

and i cant believe that not only has anna suddenly canceled on me, but i dont think i have a back up since everyone and their sister reads the busblog and at this point already has a date or has resigned themselves to forgetting about valentines day.

and im hungry, and im thirsty, and its seventy degrees outside but sometimes im cold but no i dont have a cold. im just very confused and i feel like people are dissing me even though i put out 100% for them. it’s not a good feeling. didnt i just have a great feeling like days ago? didnt i drive around with the windows down in the middle of the night thinking ok everythings perfect now.

didnt i take the longest shower from the newest showerhead and listen to my greatest shower mix cd and think just focus on blogging where you are ok, just focus on that and nobody can touch you.

but people can touch you no matter where you are.

its fuck n run

even when i was seventeen

fuck and run

… janie said when she was five years old

there was nothing happening at all

do you know that the old man who was shot by the vice president just had a heart attack?

on valentines day.

shot thru the heart and youre to blame

thats me on the bottom row third from the left

some of the girls ive loved before