fuckit if its toxic.

clippergirl came over last night tipsy from tanguery late late like two am. i had just finished a web site for my beautiful and amazing young attorney. not really finished but definitely phase one had been completed and i felt good about it.

parts were even funny. those will have to be taken out, of course, but maybe we can do something interesting with it.

clippergirl laid on my couch in some superstretch denim jeans that fit her like theyd been tailored. often im amazed at the things that i get to see live and in person and if i could take pictures every day for you, one every hour, then i think youd understand when sometimes i think that the angels all like to huddle above me and just toss unbelievable things at me and see if they can get me to show any form of real emotion what so ever.

i snap my fingers when im super into it while gambling.

that’s pretty wild, i suppose.

anyhow she was laying there just playing with the tassels of her wild west vest and i asked her about guys with tongue piercings.

have you ever kissed a guy with a tongue pierce?

yes. three guys.

what was it like?

the first time was amazing, the second one was okay and the third one after a while i was all, can you just take that out?

then i asked her if oral was better and she said no.

i said, doesn’t it add to the stimulation?

she said, the tongue can stimulate just fine.

jay z was on winamp.

she didn’t care that i had dishes that were melting in its own stink.

she didn’t care that there was a pink box sitting on a chair in the corner with one big slice left of chocolate mousse cake and two forks stuck in it.

she didn’t care that they were out of tequila, that rum would do the trick.

now sahara hotnights was on the winamp.

two forty four am and he thought that he really oughtta go to sleep and then he thought that it pretty much sucks that he’s tied to job that he cant stay up all night if he wanted to with a pretty girl with boots and bows in her hair who walked back into the front room with a pitcher of coke, a bottle of rum, and two clear glass tumblers and a box of wheat thins.

he had some cheese that he wasn’t sure if she had seen, but there it was under her arm and she waited for him to clear a spot on the coffee table jay z was back on it was getting close to three in the morning. he could do this. the cheese was soft cuz he had just picked it up for no reason. he had no idea she was coming over. sometimes he forgot that he had a terrific life and even though he had a great weekend he thought his week would find him alone and lonely and stressed out over making the web site look decent.

but no. once again he was wrong. wrong as always. wrong as sin. wrong as george bush giving people who own suvs a huge tax break.

everything was going to be all right.

just like always.

just like it’ll always be.

just like it’s meant to be.

and the new neighbors next door had their bullshit turned up just a little too loud, but that didn’t bother us.

and their dog barking and barking and barking, mostly at crickets or wolves or any number of the wild life that you can find up in these hills didn’t bother us either.

and soon it was three thirty.

and then it was four.

an unseasonably warm evening we were having, i even had a window open which blew the candle around frantically casting dancing shadows across the framed drawing of jimi hendrix over the fireplace.

air was on and i asked her what she wished she was doing right that minute other than what she was doing right then and she said

i wish i was floating on a blowup raft in an overheated pool

with one hand dangling in the almost toohot water.

xris + film hacks + neil + athena

im waiting for something so i figure what the hell. its friday. lets go

1. What time is it:
7:25pm

2. What is your Full Name?:
Anthony M. Pierce III

3. Nicknames:
dumbass, tony, tp, tp3, yo

4. Piercing:
against the bible

5. Pets:
i love animals but wtf am i gonna do with a pet?

6. What color pants are you wearing right now?:
black

7. What are you listening to right now?
my computer hum because it loves me

8. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number?
11

9. What was the last thing you ate:
i went to fatburger because i was getting my car detailed and they were taking forever cuz its LA and people obsess over their cars here especially on a friday night, so i went to fatburger to celebrate something but when i got there i was all “as much as i love fatburgers theyre soooo unhealthy” (every woman i know in LA has put those voices in my head) so i got a chicken burger there. grilled chicken breast. fat fries and coke. eight bucks.

10.If you were a crayon what color would you be:
burnt sienna

11. How is the weather right now?
i didnt wear a flannel all day.

12. Last person you talked to on the phone?
jeff solomon, king lion of judah. stud of the century. father of my children. master of the universe who looked at my computer the other day and said seems to me that you need a new ethernet cable and gave me the cable and was calling me to follow up to see if it workd. my first born will be called jeff solomon pierce of antigua.

13. First thing you notice about whichever sex you’re attracted to?
teeth. lord if i know why.

14. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
does anyone not like christie?

15. How are you today?
unbelieveably great

16. Favorite Drink:
diet dr pepper. or coke classic depending if i need a sugar rush.

17. Favorite Alcoholic drink?
either a double baileys neat
or a triple captian morgan in nice big glass, also neat. why fuck around.

18. Favorite Sports to participate in?
madden on playstation2

19. Hair Color:
im 113, black with gray

20. Eye Color:
black

21. Do you wear contacts:
i have perfect vision and i can see thru bullshit, plus i have a 007 watch its the one and only, its got an i-spy sensor that tells me when youre lonely

22. Siblings:
two.

23. Favorite Month(s):
this is why i dont do these quizzes.

24. Favorite Food?
i eat chicken probably every day. or things that taste like chicken.

25. The movie you watched last ?
In a theater – King Kong (A- i love jack black but he was overacting)
at home – 40 yr old Virgin (A+)

26. Favorite Day of the Year:
opening day.

27. Are you too shy to ask someone out?:
since i dont do drugs any more, i try to do things that will either trip me out naturally or make my heart beat. so yes its fun to ask people out but then you have to do all those other things once they say yes. like wonder why they would ever say yes.

28. Summer or Winter?
there are seasons?

29. Hugs or Kisses?
i can eat a bag of either of them. but since you get more protein from the nuts in hugs lets go with those.

30. Chocolate or Vanilla:
a girl wrote this quiz, didnt she.

31. What books are you reading:
the Bible and i wanted to buy The Diary of Anne Frank but the hipster bookstore next to the Los Feliz 3 was too cool for her. fuckers.

32. Whats on your mouse pad?
dust since its in the closet.

33. Favorite Board Game(s)?
scrabble but only when i play against geniuses.

34. What did you do last night?
caught up on my Buzznet work.

35. Living Arrangements:
i live in a pretty cool bachelor pad hidden in the hills of hollywood, alone, with just me, a thousand magazines, two thousand baseball cards, three thousand cds, high speed internet, and a directv satelite dish. there are hardwood floors, a fireplace, 24/7 security, and a closet the perfect size to write to you.

36. Favorite Smells:
excited women, pizza, really good weed.

37. Least Favorite Smells?
really good weed that doesnt get passed to me at a concert

38. Can you touch your nose with your tongue:
if i cheat

39. What inspires you?
pictures, kisses, and good blog entries

40. Favorite Word?
yes

41. Favorite place to eat out?
her place

42.What was your most perfect vacation escape?
this christmas i drove from LA to vancouver and back down again… very slowly. i loved every minute.

43. If you won the lottery would you continue to work?:
not only that but i would invest in Buzznet. just wait till you see what we pull off in the very near future, and i dont mean video.

44. Favorite snack:
puffed cheetos

45. Favorite candy:
huge blocks of trader joes chocolate

46. Favorite Flower?
Flower from Playboy TVs “Nightcalls 411”

47. The first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
God bless Marc Brown for letting me have a job where i dont have to set an alarm any more.

48. Favorite fast food restaurant:
McDonalds still has it.

49. Favorite day of the week:
im wishing ill upon the creator of this.

50. Favorite ice cream:
cookie dough

51. What is your favorite color?
im wishing violence upon the creator of this

52. Lake, ocean or river?
im wishing violence followed by insurance red tape upon the creator of this

53. How many tattoos do you have?
against the bible or id have hundreds.

54. Prefer your lady in cotton panties or a gstring?
if you have the right lady it doesnt matter what shes wearing

55. Birthday:
10/22/1908

56. Are you currently dating anyone?:
if i was i wouldnt be doing a lj quiz on a friday night

57. What is your opinion of things like this?
i think theyre dumb, but i do read other peoples’s. so whatever.

58. Favorite CD of 2005:
Tsar – Band Girls Money

59. ever been toilet papering?
T-ping someone’s house? thats my middle name! or my intials. but no. you get shot for that where im from.

60. Loved someone so much it made you cry?
ha! me? no. no. no. yes. shuttup.

61. Been in a car accident?
when i first moved here to LA i was shocked at how many super hot women there were just walking around. and i rearended the guy in front of me at an extremely low speed (we were approaching a stop sign) he got out and said dude i was checking her out too. we slapped hands and went on with life. that was the closest ive ever gotten. im the best driver of all time.

62. Croutons or bacon bits?
croutons rule all things.

63. Disney or Warner Bros:
the wb employs black folk so the wb.

64. How many times did you fail your drivers test?
once, and i still dont know why.

65. From whom did you get your last e-mail?
my lawyer telling me that everythings gonna be alright.

66. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
credit cards are also against the bible. but if i had one i would probably blow a wad at best buy.

67. What you do most often when you are bored?
thanks to blogging i dont think ive really been bored, at home, in years. when theres not a computer around i make up little songs in my head. at fatburger for instance i wrote a little tune about the cute little high school kids who must have been 14 on their cute little date holding hands. it was called “please wear my friendship bracelette jimmy”

68. Bedtime?
3am if i dont head to the couch beforehand. if i do go to the couch after 11pm, five minutes later is it.

69. Favorite TV shows:
lost, countdown with keith oberman, pardon the interruption, the simpsons (still!), family guy, mcglaughlin group, real time with bill maher (is that coming back?), survivor, big brother, beauty and the geek, revenge of the show, drawn together

70. Last person you went out to dinner with?
anna kournikova

71. Ford or Chevy?
i like the new mustangs but too many idiots have them now, so vette baby

72. Your best memory?
ive had a very blessed life so there are many. every time a girl has kissed me for the first time is way up there, but probably winning the california intercollegiate press association award for best arts and entertainment editor a few months after being and accepting the award in a dress.

73. Time you finished this e-mail?
8:04p

74. Do you want your friends to write back?:
my friends wont but my blog buddies might.

75. Who is most likely to respond:
raymi/

76: Who is least likely to respond:
dan hilldale, he and charlie are so smart yet they keep it to themselves for some reason.

i can be very mean + timmay + sean freaks + christie

hi tony pierce. i love you so please dont make fun of me.

why would i make fun of you?

oh i dont know, because my legs are stuck together!

baby, we all have our little crosses to bear. shit, im a blogger, you dont think thats embarrassing?

good point.

so can you swim fast.

see.

no really?

no i cant swim fast. im not a fish. im a little girl.

do you have gills?

tony, im a girl.

can you breathe underwater?

im going to kill you.

i was just kidding. do you like fish?

yes, i like bass, shrimp, crab. i love seafood.

no, like do you liiiiike fish, as in if you see an eel do you think oooo sex-ay?

come here so i can slap you.

what do you do if you cant ride a big wheel or skip or… even walk?

i crawl around a lot. my mom carries me. but mostly i watch tv.

what are some of your favorite shows?

squarepants spongebob, punk’d, lost, anything on cnn.

you follow politics?

i fucking love politics.

wow. well the president is speaking today. what do you expect from his speech?

lies. false promises. scary threats of american imperialism disguised as idealism where peace and freedom can only be spread via military influence imposed by the us army.

wow.

and no mention of the fact that we went to war based on wmds and found none. no mention of the fact that the election results in iraq will be counted in secret by men with an american agenda.

says who?

thats the word on the street.

thats a pretty cynical perspective from a cute little girl.

lifes a bitch tony, i just calls em like i sees em.

i think youre rad mermaid girl.

i think youre radder tony pierce.

awwww.

i have no idea what this is about + the deputy + virginia

its one oh three and im on top of the world, america.

is it because i have a hot date tonight? yes.

is it because in a few weeks im going to amsterdam for free simply because im a blogger? yes.

is it because the legal proceeding that ive been hinting to is about to end and all will be good in the hood again? hell yes.

my attorney advises that i dont talk about it until all the dots are dotted and the tees are teed but lets just say that the mighty casey didnt strike out this time in mudville that the glove didnt fit so you must acquit and sometimes the cubs win the cubs win.

seriously i dont think i could be any happier than i am right now. but because im an xbi agent and because our emotions got lasered out of us at an early age this is me happy:

yo yo.

likewise this is me sad:

yo.

what you wont see because i dont have a cam in my house is me about to kick up the jams and dance around in my house for a good 15 minutes tom cruise risky business style and then clean my home for my impending visitor and then jet over to santa monica to sign what i hope are the last of the legal documents

and then go back to my lifestyle of … whatever my lifestyle is.

and even though i know this is premature, id like to thank the Lord Above for always having my back,

i wanna thank the fans who are always there,

i wanna thank my lawyer, my agent, and my other lawyer.

i wanna thank the academy

and of course all the little people, and by little i mean the brothas with the little schweens that make mine look big.

gravitass

i think i have an unhealthy relationship with my computer. when its not workin im unhealthy. turned out i was only sneezing cuz of the dust at buzznet and all i needed was a new ethernet cable. all i needed was a cable?

as dumb as i feel imagine if you were the president of the usa despite having a daily briefing a month before 9/11 telling you that 9/11 is being planned.

and then imagine sending people to war based on wmds and there were no wmds.

then imagine the scandals in congress, senators saying that theyre doctors and know that a brain dead woman is actually alive and her last wishes shouldnt be carried out by her loving husband, the leaks to the press that someones husband is in the cia, the gay hooker being snuck into the white house press corps, the biggest deficit ever, the highest gas prices ever that make two bucks a gallon seem like the greatest fucking deal of the week, and now jack abramoff and now spying on your own people under the bs that youre looking for terrorists.

how can george bush not want to put the barrel in his mouth and squeeze?

and kicking out cindy sheehan is one thing but kicking out a woman with a support the troops tshirt shows you how jittery shit is over there and i can understand. my life was in shambles over one cord, imagine what 100,000 iraqi lives and hamas getting elected does to a big fucking faker who has fucked up on everything that hes ever done ever.

only thing he ever did was get elected and he couldnt tell you how that happened either.

a real life vonnegut character – the crazy loser who ends up with great fortune and opportunity and something happens.

but the question is, are the people who support this loser also losers since theyre seriously backing an imbecile simply because he calls himself a republican.

i feel like an idiot that my cable was all that needed to be fixed. i wonder what people who keep voting for bush feel like.

Big shake to the land that’s falling down

Dear Tony,

Are you going to smoke marijuana when you go to Amsterdam?

signed,

Jack Abramoff and the people from GOP.com who sold an ad through Pajamas Media that ended up on the Instapundit’s blog and not Little Green Footballs.

dear jack,

love the hat.

im not sure if youre aware of it or not but Los Angeles magazine wrote an article about the PJers and it’s politically incorrect relationship with charles johnsons lgf – a site that generates extremist comments to say the least.

Advertisers want hits, too, but they don’t want to be associated with extremists.

In theory Pajamas knows this. Briefly this fall it listed L.A. blogger Luke Ford as a member and then thought better of it, professing shock that on one of his sites Ford was blogging about porn. This was curious, because porn is the single thing Ford knows anything about, and about porn this obsessed blogger knows a great deal. His notoriety has nurtured his online popularity. But bumping Ford was a no-brainer for any site wanting to make money with mainstream advertisers.

Doesn’t the presence of Footballs make it harder to attract ads to the site? When asked that question, the otherwise loquacious Simon pulls up short. “I have no comment on that. You should ask Charles,” he said. Johnson has not returned phone calls.

Meanwhile many wonder about that $3.5 million. What’s it being spent on? And what does the main backer want for his investment? Aubrey Chernick, a software designer who recently sold the firm he founded, Candle Corporation, to IBM, heads the group financing Pajamas. Now Chernick runs a company called NC4, which according to its Web site consults with the U.S. government on “crisis management readiness.” According to testimony gathered by the September 11 Commission (and posted online), NC4 is deeply involved in preparing for potential terrorist attacks on Los Angeles and New York City. Such information, along with Chernick’s listing in 2000 as a trustee for AIPAC, the powerful pro-Israel lobby, has given obsessive folks with too much time on their hands—aka bloggers—plenty to ruminate over. (Chernick declined requests for an interview.)

Chernick’s involvement, along with the tilt among Pajamas’ members in favor of the war in Iraq, has led to intense and cryptic speculation. Some bloggers mutter that Pajamas is a government operation.

Let’s be real. Pajamas’ coups (its team coverage of the recent Iraqi election, assembled by a group of Iraqi bloggers, was first-rate) belong to Simon & Co., as do the problems to date. But let’s be real about something else, too. Given that the Bush administration funded journalists like Armstrong Williams to promote its policies, planted fake journalists to ask supportive questions at press conferences, bankrolled pro-administration newspapers in Iraq, and fabricated how Pat Tillman died to sell the war—the question isn’t whether the administration will turn its media-manipulation efforts to blogs. It’s when.

– Los Angeles Magazine 2/06

so jack i think it means that even the big tent of the gop home of falwell, robertson, david duke, pat buccannon, nixon, frist, rove, drudge, o’reilly, hannitty, and jeff gannon is wide enough for prof. reynolds and michelle malkin but not lgf

and thats gotta make a guy feel weird too.

especially since the ad is really just a way for the gop to jingle the tip jar during tax return season. so either theyre saying that they dont want to be affiliated with the lizards over there – think thats what they call themselves and they dont want their money,

or theyre saying they have enough problems, thanks anyway.

i wonder if thats why charles doesnt have a bio on pajamas media yet.

bro i’ll write your bio.

cheap.

but dude, if you opened up your comments i would have been able to let your readers know why there was so much traffic there today and why the page was loading slow.

today i had an idea that i think i might experiment with next month. shut down the email and only communicate with people through the comments.

now that would be transparent.

jessica alba does this on purpose + alecias single again fellas + fil facts

meaning im either a very committed blogger, or im sick, or i love you, or this is a cry of help.

my life isnt the same when my computer is broke. i have a great pal who fixes my shit when it goes down and i try to pay hhim but he wont accept my money. whats fucked up about that is typically when you pay someone they sorta have to help you out asap.

and even though hes my bro i dont think he understands the extent to which my life is disturbed when i dont have hi speed access. so last night when i called him and he didnt call back and yesterday when i called him and he didnt call back and today when i called him and he didnt call back i was jonesing like a crackhead not just because ive got one last bunch of books to get out but because this is black history month and because, well, i like to blog.

now whats interesting is im writing a secret book. im also sorta cleaning up my house so its perfect that my computer is broken because now i can work on those things.

but it wasnt that long ago that i gave up smoking weed, you cant really ask a brotha to give up weed and blogging at the same time.

thankfullly when i got the gig at buzznet mc brown got me an ibook so tonight after i dropped off my pc i popped open my laptop and drove slowly around eagle rock looking for someone with wifi, i found it, took care of some business, and then someone pulled up behind me and i drove off.

so here i am in hollywood listening to howard on sirius. its 11pm and the replay is on. actually its the wrapup show. howard just bought robin a mercedes. thats what you do when you are a good guy, and just got paid a half billion for five years.

why is sirius stock still under $6? why does the caged bird sing? why am i involved in a law suit and my life is in the balance and i cant invest my savings in siri right now as id like to? i guess i could, i just dont want to take the risk and put it all on black.

without dsl ive been watching a lot of tv. i watched the flava flav show. not bad. weird.

i watched the lisa loeb show. liked it! watched the boybander named ashley show – eh. watched keith oberman obliterate bill oreilly yesterday. watched the daily show, colbert. i even watched Good Day LA this morning with jillian barberie and i know shes a little hyper but why is that woman still single?

i miss big brother. i miss survivor. im always pissed on wednesday nights when Lost isnt on.

i guess i got nothing more to say other than everyone who ordered signed copies of Stiff should have gotten an invoice today. if you havent gotten your invoice yet, and if you arent Dan or rabbit + crow and havent gotten your paid copy yet email me.

and for those of you who dont know, we are Beta testing video on Buzznet, so if you have a Buzznet account try out the video. upload your stuff, check out other peoples stuff and enjoy the new technology. its not perfect yet, but we would rather have our users take advantage of this free upgrade to our community than just a few of us. so play with it, email us with improvements that youd like to see and help us get better.

me and marc brown had shwarmas today at the secret shwarma place and it kicked serious ass.

krista (pictured) + kiddo + amy + my fave video

but i cant really tell my bosses that im “working from home” if my computer is fubar and im blogging in the middle of the night from internet cafes.

we’re about to go to lunch so let me answer some questions posed to me in the comments.

Q. what book are you reading?

A. the only book im reading right now is the Bible. i know, weird. but my new years resolution was to read at least one chapter of the Bible each sunday, and since each chapter of the bible is barely two pages its a pretty easy one to accomplish.

this sunday i read the first part of the Noah story and it blew my mind. there were two reasons why God wanted to flood the earth. do you remember what those reasons were? i hadnt. they were violence and corruption. it wasnt sex. it wasnt same sex marriages. it wasnt tyrants. it wasnt wmds. it was violence and corruption. quite interesting.

the week before i had read the passage where Avenged Sevenfold got their name. lots of great metal names in the bible.

also last week i saw a part where you could sorta (weakly) explain dinosaurs biblically. basically there were giants who the daughters and sons of adam and eve were getting it on with. my belief is, in a bizarre way those giants could be like how we view The Others in Lost. people on the other side of the island who you sorta hang with but not so much. except in the bible’s case, to breed with.

so these giants probably had giant animals roaming on their side of messipotamia. those were later called dinosaurs.

like i said its sorta a weak explaination, but there it is.

q. which bukowski books should i read?

a. the classics are ham on rye, post office, and women. but matt dillon is about to come out with the film version of Factotum, probably my favorite bukowski novel. however Notes of a Dirty Old Man, Tales of Ordinary Madness, and pretty much anything pre 1990 are great.

q. i live in canada, im a cute young woman, and i want to have hot sex with you. is that ok?

a. when i come to canada again, and if youre wearing a plaid skirt, thigh highs, and a cat collar, then yes we can discuss your generous offer(s) further. i feel like our countries should come together. and just because the president of this country isnt helping things, i feel like i should take up the slack.

q. who’s your favorite blogger?

a. my favorite blogger is raymi, but the blog i read the most is flagrants, although not so much now that she has made her text size so damn small. is there a firefox plugin that will automaticall up the text size for just one blog?

q. what do you think about people who are jealous about you going to Holland on Holland.com’s dime?

a. i think those people have a right to be jealous. i’d be jealous. but i dont think theyre looking at the big picture. blogging is soooooo new, instead of trying to give advertisers, or in this case, governments a hard time for trying something new, you should embrace the fact that bloggers are being respected. and you should encourage us to kick ass so that these sorts of opportunities will continue and spread.

not that long ago i was paid to allow my content to be distributed through an RSS reader. last year i was dropped, im speculating, because my political views didnt jibe with the conservative corporation that owned the RSS reader and was paying me some good money.

instead of flaming them and being all pissed off and telling people how bad this company sucked, i kept my mouth shut because big picture the program was good for bloggers and the bloggers who took my place are better off that theres Any program as opposed to no program. plus its just money so who really gives a fuck.

q. what do you think about the fact that the Smashing Pumpkins arent going to reunite at Coachella?

a. Coachella adds bands all the time, and they sell out quick. i have two thoughts. one, the pumpkins were great a long time ago. they werent so great during their last two records. Zwan was cool and Corgan is a genius. but theyre a volital sensitive band. if Coachella sells out without SP and theyre later a suprise band then great. but if they were announced, then Coachella sold out, and then the band broke up before the show then everyone would be pissed.

therefore im glad they werent announced. i do hope they reunite at Coachella, cuz i will be there. but i hope they rock and leave the synths at home.

happy birthday kira!

cuz my computer wont connect to the interweb and im at an internet cafe thats gonna close in 9 minutes but because im a freak i felt like i had to come here to get my fix.

i saw the president speak and listening to him used to give me hope that anyone ANYONE could be president. as long as they were the son of an xpresident. but now i think anyone could be president if they were full of enough shit, which is why al gore will never win.

and why people fear hillary so.

being without the internet today has been painful but the good news was im so addicted to the computer in my house that i stood in front of my computer and cleaned up all around it. so everything is clean there. and i found some things that i was looking for for my upcoming court case that i will let you in on once it happens.

over lunch i went to the Virgin Megastore HQ and saw Hard-Fi whose singer is reportedly linked to Scarlett Johansson. when i first saw him i was all, nah, cuz hes so normal looking and has big teeth.

but then when i saw him play i was all, hmmm, maybe because fucker can sing and play and has great tunes but his fingers moved real fast and maybe thats what the ladies like.

anyways thanks koga for the invite and thanks goldenfiddle for letting me know a little bit about the UKs #1 band of the week.

also thanks to everyone who ordered Stiff. thanks because you’re going to have to be a tad patient with me because i do all my shipping via the interweb and its a long story but hopefully i can get these things shipped out tomorrow or the next day. trust me i want them out of my house. i will never ship books myself again. yes you make a buck or two more, but the pain in the ass isnt worth it.

finally lots of people i talked with on the streets are disappointed in the coachella lineup because we were all hoping the Smashing Pumpkins would reuinite but everyone in these comments, pretty much, and on various web sites that i surfed to breifly this afternoon when i made my only other post were stoked by the lneup especially with Depeche Mode.

alll i know is im going, im gnna get paid to go and i really hope my shit is fixed tomorrow cuz this rentacomputer’s keyboard sux.

much love to all of you, im gonna have to read or something tonight.

and by read i mean a book.

oh the humanity!

i get email. i love my email. glenn reynolds doesnt have comments so he gets hella email. but i get my share even with comments.

today i got this from a lovely reader and i asked her if i could respond on the blog and she was very polite and said yes. so here goes.

Tony,

I love your blog and I know you probably get this question every other day but I have to ask dont you know any hot black women? How come you never blog about them? How come you never post pictures of hot black women up on your site. I know its your site, your rules but a sista gets a bit sad that a cool guy like tony won’t put up a picture of one ebony goddess and say this girl is all that an a bag of chips! Maybe you dont know any!

N–

PS. I’ve been wanting to ask this for a long time but didnt want to seem to critical.

OK first of all, thank you for being concerned about being critical, but it’s ok, i can handle it.

secondly, people who know me know that im a very odd bird. VERY.

even though i was born in the nations capital, a place filled to the brim with people of color, i was soon relocated to the lily white suburbs outside of chicago where i lived from k-12.

my sister and i were the only Black kids in school for years and years. eventually a few trickled through but just as quickly their families ran away to a more… diverse… neighborhood leaving us being the only Black folk in school again and pretty much the only minorities.

even though i am very lightskinned now, when i was a youth i had much darker skin and a very noticeable afro. plus because my sister was only a year younger than me, and even darker skinned, everyone knew that we were the Black kids, so despite the fact that some people might thing that i was “passing”… i wasnt passing for shit other than Black. which i was fine with. well, as fine as i imagine anyone would have been in my shoes.

because we had moved to hangover park so early on, kindegarten, i didnt have to worry about making friends because we were all new to school. and immediately i had no problems being popular and liked because little kids are pretty accepting. plus i was good at sports and funny and extremely outgoing.

that doesnt mean i wasnt met with some overt racism and some indirect racism. the best example of the later had to be in 8th grade. i had a crush on a girl and i wanted her to be my girlfriend. she liked me too so after school i chased her down before she climbed on the bus and i asked her if we could “go out”. she said she couldnt because her dad would kill her. believe it or not thats when i first really understood racism. being denied something simply because of ones heritage. truly ironic because this was happening right next to playground called heritage park.

what was great though was it was a wakeup call to me that things were different. that there were differences in the world. and i was part of those differences, like it or not.
but as i grew up there was nothing i could do about the fact that i was attracted to the opposite sex, so i had to keep plugging away despite the fact that now i had to somehow not just woo the chick but somehow convince her that her dad wouldnt be fucked with at work that his daughter was dating the only black kid in school.

and let me tell you, the midwest at the time was many things, but tolerent it was not. everyone dressed the same, looked the same, sounded the same, and acted the same. so if a dudes young daughter was dating big afro tony it would definately be reported back to that father immediately and he would be joked with by his buddies, his neighbors and his boss.

so needless to say, i didnt have very many girlfriends in highschool, despite being pretty much the same person i am now.

in fact i only really had one. and the only reason, i feel, she said yes was because she was going to be moving away to california about three weeks after i kissed her.

she was tall, blonde, had blue eyes, and long legs.

even though her dad worked for the airlines and could let her fly wherever she wanted for free she couldnt fly back to my prom with me, because, well… you know why.

but all those years whenever me and my buddies looked at girls, we never saw any Black girls because the only Black girl in my school was my sister. and the only Black girls i ever really knew were my mom, my grandmothers, and my cousins.

so its not that i dont think that Black women arent beautiful, they just remind me of my relatives. and non-Black women remind me of all the girls at school who would flirt with me but wouldnt, because they couldnt, put out.

now ive been conscious about the fact that i have a very diverse readership here, especially after being a panelist of the Blogging While Black panel at last years SXSW, a group of amazing people who i am so happy to reunite with in two months in austin. and part of that consciousness is knowing that just like i identified with Michael in Good Times because i looked like him, i didnt have the hots for his gf played by janet jackson because she looked pretty much exactly like my sister.

so do i find Black women beautiful? of course i do. do i know any Black women?

well lets go back to highschool. i left illinois the day after high school graduation and moved to california. but not just cali, santa monica california. not too many black folk there. then i went to uc santa barbara. it was either ucsb or ucla and if i had chosen the later i would have definately confronted this issue, but i chose ucsb because i was under the odd belief that if i went up there it would be easier to study because it was away from LA and right on the beach. plus everyone that i knew who went to ucsb adored the experience. just like how i feel about it now.

at ucsb they had the 100 Black Men’s club. i seriously dont think we had 100 Black men at ucsb. total. so we definately didnt have 100 Black women either. so i have a feeling that i dont know any Black women really because ive never been around them.

should i have more Black faces on the busblog? df course. and i thank you for remiding me to do it.

to be honest i was thinking about putting up a picture of Oprah during that weird little scandal with mr Frey and i was thinking about putting up a picture of Da Brat when she was photographed kissing Liza Minelli’s ex. but i have a funny little rule on the busblog – i dont put up pictures of Black people that will make us look bad in any way. so im certainly not going to put up a picture of oprah to bash her or da brat kissing on some gay dude.

im very protective of my people because i do know the struggle. and depending on how long youve read me, you’d have heard me defend OJ, michael jackson, kobe, mike tyson, and proclaim that every QB in the future should be Black.

i even capitalize the b because it is a reference not just to a color but of a region. you capitalize African American, so why not Black?

i love my people and if i run across some fine soul sista who treated me right im sure there might be a possibility of a love connection down the road – something my mom would love, especially if she wasnt half my age like these other skinny white girls – but something tells me the odds are low.

however, if you run across any photos that you feel deserve a place on the busblog, feel free to email me a link to them and i will seriously consider it. as im always looking for good pictures, and it would be my pleasure to spotlight my nubian princesses far more in the very near future.

xoxoxox
tony

culture kitchen + lynne d johnson + koganuts