i save my reading for listening

Posted on by
Reply

as i drive around this fair city i enjoy having others read to me

Morrissey’s autobiography was a delight mostly because Moz is an exceptional writer

and it makes me feel like i should stop watching so much TV and start reading

you know, actual books

because when you hear someone lie Morrissey explain things or describe things

and every sentence is so descriptive with analogies and metaphors that come from ancient scrolls

and legendary literature and you’re all, wait was that original or a Shakespearian quote

you feel equal parts excited and ignorant.

i also liked that he just wanted England to love him and it didnt. not like LA or Mexico or Scandinavia.

here people would dress like him and scream his lyrics right back at him and fill up this one and that one

theyd damn near riot, but in his beloved UK they’d barely bat their lashes

i also like that his record labels barely supported him and no one knew what to do with his successes.

it is a pattern that i have seen in my own life: some people and organizations are built for mediocrity

they have zero interest in wild success, all they want to do is keep on keeping on.

they don’t want failure, but in an odd way they feel more comfortable with a hiccup or two

than they are huge accomplishments.

they’re terrified of breaking records, leading the pack, or breaking through to the new thing.

here The Smiths and Morrissey were selling hand over fist – even when the group broke up, yet the labels were far more willing to spend endless amounts of time and effort into the unproven and even failed,

than they were to the quirky vegetarian straight edge asexual exception to the rule.

in the book he even says that Michael Stipe has always wanted to go solo.

fascinating!

im not dead, im doing things

Posted on by
Reply

and for me doing things takes a little time. i can knock out certain things quickly but when i care about them time goes so quickly to catch up with my mind

im on schedule. have no fear. but when i do stuff i think about three or four steps ahead which is cool except it makes me stumble on the step im currently on.

ive asked the young kids i used to work with what their thoughts are on Adderall because i saw a movie on Netflix about how every kid in college is on it because it helps them focus and they had mixed reviews.

they said sure if you wanna clean your room in a night or paint details on a huge blank wall. but you can get addicted, it’s not cheap, and it fucks up your sleep. i’ll just stick to bad music, incense and Mexicokes.

been dropping off Birds at 5am. im a weirdo. it pays ok. a little less than Uber and for some reason it uses up more gas than i expected but it sends me into alleys and back ways and bizarre parts of LA that i wouldnt normally go to.

ran into two gay guys last night in hollywood. one of them was pulling up his pants. so much love out there. or hookers. hard to tell sometimes. whatever, love it is.

speaking of Love one thing i love about Hollywood is how you will see a perfectly good Ma & Pa Kettle house made of wood, with a porch and a brick fireplace right next to a 19 story modern hotel right next to a McMansion. everyone in their place. everyone wanting to be somewhere else. bigger, shinier, more secluded. more rocking. bigger pool.

i just wanna always feel like everythings ok. and right now its pretty ok.

speaking of Love, 20 years ago today Hole came out with Celebrity Skin named after the magazine or glam band or JK long live courtney.

we are in this together, you, me, and you & me

Posted on by
Reply

when we shake hands or hug or kiss cheeks we are saying

we are world travelers in time and space and emotions but here we are at the same spot together

because the world is small.

when we refuse to touch, when we deny that moment of humanism, brotherhood, sisterhood

we are saying the world frightens me, you scare me, your hand your intentions, your mind.

when we refuse, you are saying, i want to be in my world and mine is different than yours

yours is one of x, y, and z and mine is nothing at all like yours, and certainly not from a

loving, trusting, honestly communicating place.

when he refuses your hand, he is saying, i cannot even pretend to be civil right now

NO I CANT EVEN

he is saying i am of a different class than you, a better one – even if i am weak.

when we shake hands we are saying we are one, we are we, we have very briefly unionized and merged.

but when we refuse that hand, that very simple gesture that goes back all the way to the begining

we are saying this is not the begining

it is the end.

and we have both failed.

last night we went to the Bowl to see John Williams

Posted on by
Reply

you know the guy who did the music for Jaws, Star Wars, the Olympics, E.T. and all your favorite movies?

Steven Spielberg MCed some of it and I was thinking, i wonder how much he got paid. $10k? $5k?

amber thinks he did it for nothing because he loves John, who is getting up there in years, but if i was rich like John i’d throw my man $10k for showing up.

a few days before that we went to see Smashing Pumpkins at the Forum who played for 3 hours.

i aint got time for no 3 hour show so we left but i was very entertained none the less. someone on Twitter a while back said that rock shows should start at 7pm sharp, the opener should start at 8 and we should be out of there by 10:30pm. im ok with that.

because im so extremely old.

speaking of, ive been using some of my back muscles that i havent used in centuries and ive been lifting these heavy things to put food on my family’s table, and my back was furious with me, so i laid sideways on my bed and did these leg stretches and then rolled over on the other side and stretched. then i took Amber’s neck massager and laid on it.

then like how baseball pitchers dont pitch every day, i took a day off and voila, cured. thanks Lord. but i think imma go back to driving Uber for the side hustle. it may pay better and doesnt hurt me.

the main hustle starts tomorrow, anew. my last day at the old job was Friday and it was very bittersweet. i really enjoyed working with so many of the people there, but it was obvs that i was a square peg. which is A-OK with me. so i got donuts for everyone and wrote some notes to some people. completion.

what will come of the secret project? mansions and pool houses, duh.

theres some changes a brewing

Posted on by
Reply

which is a good thing and a scary thing, but mostly good.

i cant wait to tell you about them, but i have always wanted to be such a different person than who i am.

i want to be the type of man who keeps everything secret. i watch Tony Soprano and he wont even tell his crew what he is up to.

when he gets on the phone he talks about “that thing of ours.” without revealing a damn clue.

im good with other people’s secrets, but for me im a huge blabbermouth.

why? am i looking for approval? do i want everyone to love me? i know hardly anyones gonna love me.

maybe because it’s front of mind. and when im on a project that i love i’m consumed by it.

well this next thing is gonna be an all encompassing bon fire of earthly delights, thats all i gotta say

and when it’s time to really get into great detail, trust me, you’ll be notified properly.

just know that what im fixin to do is risky, but if it ends up being what im planning on it being

it could be a literal life saver.

and thats what the xbi is alllllll about.

yesterday i was minding my own business when ping

Posted on by
Reply

i got an uber select call over in the fairfax district as i was heading home. i was exhausted and just wanted to crawl take a quick shower, drink a pop and fall asleep watching The Sopranos with the first long legged <s>blonde</s> brunette who cared to join me.

But i hadn’t done much Ubering lately so i took the ride. how bad could it be? well when you think that they take you in the wrong direction. which in this case was good and bad because who doesn’t love Westwood.

the dude was on a date, he asked if i wouldnt mind stopping at Whole Foods for flowers, i said no problemo (because that almost always guarantees a tip). at first he was quiet back there, tapping away on his phone. i had Miles Davis playing so i didnt care. WHO CARES ANY MORE?

as we passed the Waldorf i asked him if he had been in there. he said no. i said if this date goes well maybe the next one should take place on the roof. then we started talking about Westwood and how cool it used to be. he is a native Los Angeleno and agreed. and we talked about this old theater and that one and all the cool places young people could go to there. he asked do you know where the Whole Foods is? i said, yea, that used to be a movie theater too! he was all, yes youre right!

got the flowers, got to the girl’s house, she comes waltzing out looking like a million bucks. mama mia. and then i took them to a nearby restaurant. and he tipped me $5, which is great. shoulda been $10 but whatevs.

before i got out of Westwood i got a new ping. two people on the south side of Wilshire. they were going to a Comedy show. we get talking, turns out the lady went to high school with my first california girlfriend so we talk about Malibu and Trancas and la la la la – it was a great trip. they too tip $5 so the total take home for 2 trips was like $70, which is better than i do all day on Birds, plus i dont have to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn.

still did anyways cuz of my ridiculous body clock but who cares the cubs won the world series in 2016. life has lost meaning.

 

bachelor bobs podcast fiesta

Posted on by
Reply

if you asked me a year ago if i would ever have a live-in girlfriend again i woulda honestly told you no

i felt like i was too old, too weird, too stuck in my ways, and not handsome enough to nab the type of women i had been lucky enough to be with through my Past

but it just shows to go you that i am often wrong about things, particularly matters of the heart.

which makes me wonder what else i am wrong about. God? Politics? Gravity?

i dont mind being wrong because when i am wrong it means that things are nicer than i expected

not only did i think i would be bored as someones boyfriend at this age, but worse, i thought i would be boring to someone sweet.

i never want to bore someone, especially a sweet girl who cooks and cleans and wears freaky clothes for me.

people ask when i will ever quit this blog. my first answer is never because i hate quitters, but the truth is when it gets boring.

but this will never be boring.

i may have to get amber this necklace.

mama said knock you out

Posted on by
Reply

one of the best experiences i ever had growing up was when i was like 10 or so.

i was at this all-boys summer camp outside of Washington DC at a place run by these Jesuit priests.

a lot of kids, like me, had families who could afford the camp where we learned a lot about sports, arts & crafts, and religion. but we also learned a lot of interpersonal skills because some of the boys were very poor and it was obvious that they were allowed in through scholarship.

which was fine by me because as someone who prided himself as an athlete, there’s nothing better than to be “set straight” by a poor black boy on the basketball court who could almost dunk at 11 years old.

besides being humbled, there are many lessons in losing. one is to watch how the winners handle themselves. it was here that i learned the oft misunderstood art of trash talking.

since i was light-skinned and, according to them, Rich, they called me every name in the book as they taunted me at half court, alternating their dribble from one hand, through their legs, to the other.

one particular little boy, no shirt, masking tape holding his shoes together, black socks, scars, fucked up teeth, alerted me that he was going to pass to his teammate, accept the pass back, fake to the right, drive to the left and lay it up with his left hand.

he passed it to his dude, who popped it right back at him, he held the ball over his head and flinched to the right, and because im dumb, i went for it, he dribbled left right past me and, as promised, laid it up with his left hand, which he kept up in the air as he trotted back down the court.

while some quit playing basketball that summer, i continued, because i loved their confidence, skill, and style. and to this day, when called out, i like to, in a way, call my shot right before i do it. i think it’s funny. i think it’s what separates Bird from Magic – and who doesnt wanna be Magic?

but what the critics don’t appreciate is in order to do it, the skill has to be there, because if you miss, now you are fodder for ridicule and blacktop talk is worse than any

tony, the reason some ppl disrespect you is cuz they think u just lucky

Posted on by
Reply

ahhhh, the old “he can’t be good, he’s obviously just lucky” excuse.

interesting that all the kings horses and all the kings men

with all their slide rules and hired guns and prognosticators and studies

still can’t produce better results than me

still

it reminds me of the Chi Chi Rodriguez line.

Old Chi Chi was playing golf and he hit a hole in one.

as he was walking to retrieve his ball, a member from the press ran onto the green to walk with him.

“Chi Chi, how did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You hit a hole-in-one, do you know how rare that is?”

“Well I was aiming at it, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, but would you consider what you just did… luck?”

“Amigo, I have noticed the more I practice, the luckier I get.”

I’m 51 and 7/8ths.

I’ve been practicing as long as some of my critics have been alive.

things im against

Posted on by
Reply

lights at wrigley field

that huge video scoreboard at wrigley field

AIDS

men who try to tell women what to do with their bodies

people who drive slowly in the passing lane

buildings that have the AC blowing super cold and everyone has to wear jackets

mcdonalds breakfasts where a breakfast sandwich, hashbrowns and an OJ that costs $8

H&R Block

the Chicago White Sox

the MLB Hall of Fame

when people see that two lanes is turning into one but they speed up in the merging lane anyways

whoever the dude was who was using his table saw last night as i was saying my prayers

dudes who dont wash their hands after peeing

global warming deniers

fox news guests

kidnappers