i love the internet with all my heart

in part because i was there when it began.

not began began, that was in the 60s in military bases and universities (one being UCSB) but i mean when it started to hit ACTUAL PEOPLE

for some reason God had put me in San Francisco and i knew people like MC Marc Brown who had some good computers and a decent modem and he showed me some of the first web pages. the year was 1994.

we were amazed. back then there were more Newsgroups than web pages, but they did the trick. we got news readers. we got as fast of internet connections as we could. we subscribed to Wired. we learned HTML.

here it is now nearly 25 years later and i still love the web as much as ever, in part because despite all the technological improvements, at it’s heart the web is still: pictures, text, and honest communication.

and if you cant be honest, be funny.

it’s good to know that you don’t need to learn Flash or CSS or 3D rendering or be the most beautiful girl in your town to reach a large amount of people.

and it has been a blessing to be able to get paid all these years while representing some of the coolest companies online.

however, my favorite place in the world is still this humble blog because here i can experiment with this and that and use what i learn in this tiny petrie dish and apply it in the places where i spend my 9 to 5. and for that i will always be grateful of this url.

my struggle comes in discussing my findings with others. mostly because i believe in science and others believe in things other than science. it’s algebra, actually. if the goal is to get X and you know you have to use A, then A + B = X

it’s sooooo simple. but the real world doesn’t work that way. regardless if you’re talking to girlfriends or parents or neighbors, often they don’t want to include B to A to produce X, they want to use C.

if you’re lucky C might magically work, but odds are it won’t, otherwise it wouldnt be called C, it would be called B.

B is the answer. i know it’s the answer. and part of me knows that they know B is the answer. but B makes people feel weird for some reason.

and here’s the part that makes me be sad:

i am often B.

you should always try

be creative. be bold. be brave. be strong.

if you want a floating dining room, make a floating dining room.

if you want to make beautiful things that your giant audience will love: make those things.

if you want to express yourself — or better yet, express the feelings of others who have a hard time doing so: do so.

yes you will be stopped. yes people will get in your way.

life is a Super Mario Brothers game that would not be fun at all if there weren’t obstacles and hidden traps and crazy shit getting flown at you

no one is buying the video game A Walk in the Park

unless theres something scary up in the trees or behind the bench or in the lake.

we are here to overcome objections. we are here to lead by example. we are here to show the doubters that

of course this cool thing can be done.

build your floating dining room of love.

let the basics make the basic things, because at least they made something.

i was so sick last week

and then i went to the urgent care and the dude told me to bend over and pull down my pants

and i was all, so this is what it’s come to?

and he gave me a shot into one cheek

and another in the other cheek

and he gave me a bunch of pills

and he said drink lots of water and pray to the Lord

and kiss that pretty girl i see on your blog

and i swear to you within an hour i could feel the Good fighting the Evil

and i was all, Work Bitch Work!

the night before i had coughed so much i began puking. i coughed so much one of my cats shut the bathroom door because i was disturbing her.

i was coughing so much my lungs were hurting and my throat was sore and i was running out of TP

but then after visiting the urgent care there i was healthy, feeling like Robert Plant on the balcony of the Riot Hyatt in ’73

i could eat again, sing again, dance again.

we are such fragile, sensitive, weird little sacks of miracles.

tiny doses of chemicals can alter us so much, just like how the meanest sneer can bum our days.

i never want to be the reason anyone feels down

except for those jackasses on twitter who are probably russian bots

i want to be the booty shot of love.

i wanna be your miracle drug.

think good thoughts.

birds are these electric scooters you ride for a buck

it’s a santa monica start up who ironically is having a hard time in santa monica because

people pay a lot of money to live or do business there and bird

populated all over town, with no warning

and everyone loved it

but governments like to be in control of things, as do loud mouthed so called powerful people

and so now santa monica is saying that it will give priority to uber and lyft in regards to electric scooters, instead of to bird and it’s competitor lime

even though neither uber nor lyft has ever rented an electric scooter to anyone.

crazy ass santa monica.

anyways my brother told me he has had fun charging them over night

so i tried about a month ago but it wasn’t as fun where i live because the app that tells you where they are isn’t always accurate because, weirdly, people do some very sad things to these mighty machines, which makes the map unreliable as it claims a bird is on this corner when it may not have been there for a month or longer.

these people deface them, toss them, abuse them, sticker them, ive even seen a few with the electronics ripped out, – i assume to figure out how to use them for free – all things that screw up their tracking system.

they are vulnerable, sitting tall on the street all night, waiting, but unable to move.

the other hard part about the charging game is you have to have the birds back on the street during the window of 4am and 7am.

hours which are ungodly – but you can jet across one side of LA to the other at warp speed.

even the cops are like fuckit

but looking for scooters, finding them, taking them home, bringing them back to life and waking up early to drive them to their ‘nest’

is the weirdest version of Pokemon Go ive ever seen and 100 times harder because you strike out constantly.

and i cant wait to play again tomorrow.

happy birthday to my all time favorite blog about busses

do you remember everything? like how this started?

like how you were frustrated and sad and felt like your life would add up to nothing?

do you remember how Blogger used to crash all the time, several times a day

and you had to write to support and Real People would write you back and say oh try this

or oh we did this for you

and it was all free and it was nice and you sorta made friends with them, virtually anyway, because they were good souls?

does anyone remember laughter or 40 comments on every post or blog rolls or

the all powerful technorati 100?

of course you don’t, youre so young and so much has gone under the bridge

i dont remember half of it but this blog, my blog, the weirdest thing ive ever made, documented most of it

due to broken links and poor planning a lot of the pictures are gone

and the pictures made it so much better

but the tales are somewhere in here. fond memories of not so fond experiences sometimes.

and fortunately the only thing that was true

was you.

and i thank you.

happy 17th birthday, busblog of hope.

thank you for refreshing my memory.

last night we saw Randy Newman at the Bowl

it was a perfect night, weatherwise and otherwise

it was only about 2/3rds full which made things soooo much better

no huge lines for anything, plenty of room to get around and lots of space in the rows, where we were, in the middle.

on top of that, we lucked out and got a row that had no one in front of our two seats, so

leg room for dayssssssss (pictured)

randy has recorded like five million records in his long and storied career

this show was supposed to be him, the Hollywood Bowl orchestra, and an all star band

playing at least one song from each of his albums

it was so great.

he played pretty much all my favorite tunes and the orchestra added a lot because his music has always been so cinematic

even before he started writing music for Pixar and Disney films.

most of the Bowl events let you bring your own food so i packed lots of salad fixins for her

and i grabbed some grocery store sushi for myself, and chips and a Mexicoke (pictured)

it was a really beautiful night out there in Hollywood

but because i am a sensitive poet i think my nose was affected by all the fires burning around us

and today im a little sniffley and headachey

after the show we walked down like 2 miles which was hard on Amber because she had heels on (pictured)

but the good thing is we got to walk around Hollywood and take pics of all the best thing

like Ice Cube’s star

a totally random wall

and my favorite building in Hollywood that no one has ever gone into because it’s haunted, barren, unlivable

and full of dead bodies probably

afterwards we watched John Oliver and passed out

The End

never meet your heroes

a coworker was offered the opportunity today to interview one of the people who she loves

but she may not do it because of this bizarre saying “never meet your heroes”.

i suppose i can understand that sentiment, but as someone who has met quite a few famous people who i admire, i would say

meet everyone you can. especially those you admire.

i had the great good fortune of meeting my favorite band, The Replacements, a few times.

the first encounter was back stage at UCSB’s Rob Gym before their Don’t Tell A Soul tour.

it was revealing, fascinating, and ultimately not what i expected and a bit of a downer.

later i would meet Paul Westerberg when he was on a solo tour – and that was much better

but i would rather have experiences, memories, and interactions that were real than fantasies of what could have been.

we are on this merry go round for a very short time

all the nonsense we make up about people because they can play a guitar or because theyre pretty or rich or on tv is so much baloney

one reason i totally love driving Uber and Lyft is because I think the guy who saved the other guys life by shoving his thumb in the guy’s bullet wound is just as fascinating as the guy who can play bass really fast

just yesterday i had a lady from Houston who had never driven down Melrose before so I took her that way on the way to The Grove. Just watching her see people on Bird scooters, telling me about how Texans feel about “the Devil’s lettuce” (weed) was as good as saying hi to a famous football player.

of course i have been star struck, and of course i have had not-so-perfect encounters. but i am so happy that i have had the chance to meet and chat with the likes of Hugh Hefner, Bruce Willis, Perry Farrell, Paul Tollett, Hillary Clinton and so many others.

i say meet your heroes.

i say meet everyone.

i say make tons of people your hero.

but don’t hassle the Hoff.

took amber to see Weezer and the Pixies last night

amber with prince

it was great.

i was nervous we werent gonna go because when i got home she was dead tired and napping.

i have an interesting relationship with her in that right before i come home she starts napping.

the cats are the opposite, they nap when im out, but when i get home they pop to life and hug me, take my hat, fetch me my slippers and pack my pipe.

amber though is snoring and smiling. you can literally see the Zzzzs floating from her pretty face.

i got home before 7. by 730p she was still in snoozeville and i was getting nervous because twitter told me that the Pixies were scheduled to go on at 8pm. i live more than a half hour from the Fabulous Forum so i was like please wake up please wake up.

at 7:50p she was up, dressed, had a hot black metal number on, bright red lipstick

Lyft for some reason knew i was going to the show and gave us a free ride there.

got this driver who told us he drives 60 hours a week. he rents his car from Lyft and if he can drive that much the car only cost $30 a week. all he has to do is pay for gas which he says is a tank a day. maybe a half a tank, i dont know, my head exploded with the 60 rides thing.

got to the show and the Pixies, who i thought were about to end, were only in the middle of their set. they were pretty good. amber was surprised that frank black was fat. i was all, girl, bro has been fat since before you were born.

weezer came out and their set (seen above, pic by DVL) was a tribute to their Happy Days / Buddy Holly video. Then after a few songs the set changed to their “garage” (yes the one I once jammed in with Rivers) , then it changed to a traditional Rock Set.

then rivers took a Bird scooter through the crowd and sang Amber two songs from a little boat that he later sailed to Catalina.

true quote from Amber during her favorite tune that Rivers pretty much sang right to her: “this is my favorite concert ever.”

so i guess she’s happy she rose from her nap.

oh yeah, they also did Africa by Toto and Weird Al showed up to play his accordian

today we are going to weezer and the pixies

last night amber dyed her hair to prepare

me, i shaved and got a hair cut.

it was so hot today – like 95 degrees.

but in my office it was super cold. i have a little space heater. imagine that.

plus i wore a little hoodie.

i hardly ever eat at work, just nibble. my life is so boring.

all amber and i ever do is walk around and say hi to homeless people and then eat tacos.

thats what we did yesterday.

i had bought her a bowl of soup at Pho 2000 but still when we got home i was like, let me change into shorts and lets walk to Silver Lake

you gotta get in your steps.

you gotta live.

the more you live the more your body is all hell yeah.

so keep living, rock stars.

never die.