he told me marriage is a suckers game

told me he met this woman who turned out was super rich because her dad owned a building in DTLA

and when he died she got it

and it brought in $100k a month.

he said she bought so many shoes they needed their own bedroom. there were purses everywhere. after a while they stopped having sex so he was all, i want a divorce. secretly he was thinking maybe he would get some of this cash because he sure as hell wasnt making $100k a month.

but in the divorce settlement it turned out that because that money went through a trust, it didn’t count as income for her in divorce court

indeed in that court it appeared she had zero income,

so he has to pay her alimony.

he’s a baker.

he told me: just go to hookers. it’s cheaper and better sex.

because the weather tonight was like a summers day.

drove this rich guy from beverly hills to staples to see the red hot chili peppers

windows rolled down he told me he grew up in tel aviv, was in the army

now makes deals.

the whole time he told me about israel and how its the most advanced of any middle eastern country

how it helps anyone who asks for it in the middle east and europe

and, since we were driving down pico with the windows rolled down on international womens day

“theres no better country in the middle east for a woman than israel.”

i said yes, and that is my problem.

he stopped what he was about to say and said

excuse me?!

i said, as a lyft driver, i like countries where half the population isnt allowed to drive.

and he laughed.

which was good because we were late for his dinner meet up before the show and i was

flyin baby.

as instructed.

as would hopefully be tipped generously for cutting up san vicente

and then he told me this

he said:

of all the cities i have visited, and i have lived here for years,

but of all the cities i have been to,

los angeles is the most jewish.

in israel no one asks you why you arent keeping kosher or obeying the sabbath

we observe the holidays because the kids wont be in school,

but here people are serious – of course there are those who arent –

but many more observe the traditions.

me, i don’t care about your religion because all that matters is if you are a good person.

if you are a diamond dealer in manhattan who keeps kosher

but you rip off your customers,

you should not feel proud.

we got to staples on time, dropped him off at the ritz

and remembered uber had settled up with me this morning

so i could drive to echo park

eat two delicious tacos from the best truck

and pick up dinner at the 99 cent store.

for some reason they wanna be in fights.

their founder is in fights with everyone and swears that he has grown and wants to be all peace and love, but hes so not peace and love unless it hits the news.

over the last 3 weeks i did over 100 UberSC trips. typically they rip us off on the fares and you have to write in and complain.

after a little back and forth they write back and say, fine heres your $35.

but when you do so many trips the difference isnt $35… in my case it is $156.

so i wrote last night and explained it, as usual, and today they fought with me, first lying by saying you have to do this within 3 days of the problem.

and then saying oh no we paid you soooo much money, which was another lie.

when i replied by saying, take a screenshot of you paying me soooo much money, they said fuck it, go to the Uber driver customer service way out in Redondo Beach and settle it there.

they gave me the hours, which are bankers hours basically. they do a half day on Saturday for some reason. why not a full day on Saturday?

i wrote back and said, no! this is so easy, just pay me i gave you the proof! but they said no.

so i started a brand new ticket, rewrote my genius, sent in different examples

but concluded the same thing, you owe me $156.

it’ll be interesting to see if it gets sent to different people.

hopefully someone there will understand my dilemma.

and with the money… i will buy a new tire for my car.

in the meanwhile i will drive exclusively for Lyft.