the problem with trolls in my facebook

led zep threeif you know me you know im a lover not a fighter.

true i can fight with the best of them, but thats no why Providence gave me my superpowers

mines, and yours, were meant for poetry, not barbs, romance, not wars.

i want to use my detective skills and intellect to have greater ends than winning an internet tussle.

i want to whisper in the ear of a cheerleader, not yell at a cardinal fan on twitter.

dude came into my facebook not long ago and started blah blah blahing about some nonesense

and i keep my facebook prettymuch open to the public. because i believe in freedom. open door policy.

i’ll block you if i have to, but i dont even really like doing that. people should be allowed to say whatever theyre gonna say and if they really came to fight, shouldnt a gradate in literature from the college of creative studies mop the floor with like 98% of all trolls?

this very busblog once upon a time would have 50-60 comments on posts, not all of them were right on tony, marry me, kiss me, be my boyfriend I CAN COOK!

and i bet you i banned less than a dozen people during that heyday. you just blogged, fought, and moved on.

but theres this guy today who i wanna ban but

well

he went to UCSB.

how am i gonna ban a Gaucho?

i may need to take him aside and say dude, either you’re Candid Camera 3000 or you seriously need to take your malarkey somewhere else because you’re disrespecting our school.

earlier today i was so sick i had to go home. on the way i bought old school Pepto Bismol.

did some work on my sickbed, still had a headache, drank some more pepto

had the cubs on the laptop and football on TV1 and fell asleep AGAIN

woke up and the Cubs were throwing a no hitter.

believe me when i tell you i think that totally cured me.

cubs magic number is now three.

this morning i realized that in about a month i will be crying

andy warholi was in the shower. the cats were looking at me.

lynyrd skynyrd’s second helping was booming from my cute little black bluetooth speaker

and it dawned on me that the cubs have a very good chance of not only winning the world series

but doing it in a sweep.

currently they are 41 games over .500

to put that in perspective, over the last 71 years the cubs have only been 22 games over .500

SIX times.

like i said, today they are 41 games over .500 as they get ready to face the lowly brewers of milwaukee, which means they have a very good chance of being 42 games over .500 before we lay ourselves to sleep tonight

of the years the Cubs finished 22+ games over .500 (1969, 1977, 1984, 1989, 2008, 2015), i ended up crying in sorrow half of them

which made me think this year i will either cry in unbelievable joy

or bawl in absolute, terrifying pain.

i have had friends invite me to join them in vegas so we can watch the world series at a famous strip club so as to soften the blow if the unmentionable happens.

but i dont want to think that way. i want to go to Chicago and either celebrate or commiserate in Wrigleyville with my brethren and sistren

and then maybe walk home after the big game, 40 miles away.

so as to let it sink in.

my mom, the most dedicated reader of this blog, says im angry

tonybecause i love her with all my heart i would never disagree with her.

but i dont feel angry.

am i angry?

my cubs are like 15 games ahead of the Cardinals

the stats of the social media feeds at my job continue to rise like warm loaves of delicious bread

my phone’s blowing up from long legged ladies with the most fascinating messages

and as you know, i am still fully enjoying the side hustle of driving LA’s most responsible commuters from one side of town to the other.

have i told you about the senior citizen from Chile who was raised Jewish but whose parents made him learn the New Testament backwards and forwards in case the exiled Nazis returned to power and tried to kill all the Jewish kids, so he was to tell everyone that he was a Christian? And as he grew up he became an expert in the New Testament? And as we drove around LA he asked me if i knew where there were any hookers, especially african american street walkers, because he wanted to save them?

what about the guy last night who hailed me on Lyft who has been driving as long as I have who reminisced how addictive it was in the “early days” of two and a half years ago when every ride would net us about $11 and every night we’d get at least one $40 one and every week we’d get a $100 fare so we’d drive and drive and drive fueled on adrenaline and the promise of bars of gold and buckets of diamonds with strings of pearls draped over them.

the other day i had a dude heading to a famous steak house. we talked about pretty much every steak you could get in LA. Of course i turned him on to the Baseball Steaks at the Bounty. he was telling me Craigs has amazing food. i was all, isnt that where all the paparazzi are? he said yeah but it’s not super expensive. i was all perfecto!

so i will have to take my mom there the next time she’s in town.

Dodger fans, SMH

Dodger fans

Friday Todd and I went to the Cubs Dodgers game.

I splurged a bit and bought these $100 tickets in the Executive Level. The waiters come to your seat. The seats are cushioned. We were in the front row of the section. The bathrooms are nice.

We sat there for a few innings and some guy in a USC Keck Medical jacket says youre in my seats. Turns out we were one section over. He and his clan watch the game for maybe 3 innings and then in the top of the 6th leave.

Todd and I don’t notice it for about an inning, but they never come back.

The cliche about Dodger fans coming late and leaving early held true, even on a Friday night, even against the best team in baseball, even in a 1-run game. Even though the Dodgers are fighting to stay on top of the West.

It’s like, why are you buying these seats if you’re not going to actually sit in them?

Lets hope he had buddies in a better section or in a luxury suite, but i dont think so. There were many empty seats in the Executive Level and all over the stadium.

Maybe Ben Welch of the Times can investigate this weird, decades long, phenomena.

do i know whats going on with anything?

no

do i even pretend i know whats happening?

no.

is that why i believe in God?

no.

is that why i believe in luck?

no.

is that why i believe you should just practice, be cool, work hard, read, pray, be a gentleman, and when the shit gets crazy

know that craziness only lasts a short time

which is also just a theory

because deep down i dont know shit.

unless its whispered to me on a summer night

beneath a shooting star

or was it a plane

tony, how are we supposed to feel about the new Cubs closer Aroldis Chapman?

chapman getting grilled

tony, besides being ridiculously handsome, and strong, and funny, and talented and wise beyond your years, you know a lot about baseball, particularly about the Cubs, who just traded away their #1 minor league prospect and two other minor leaguers for Aroldis Chapman.

Chapman is a unicorn in baseball, a tall, strong, lefthanded hurler whose fastball has been clocked as one of the fastest in baseball history

of the last 61 fastest pitches recorded over the last two years, how many do you think Chapman threw?

all 61, tony. ALL 61.

but because nothing comes easy for the Cubs, their signing came with a catch. two of them actually. the first is easy, his contract ends at the end of this year, meaning he could fly away to another team at the end of this season and the Cubs would have merely “rented” him for this home stretch. 

but the second isn’t so easy. he comes with baggage. Aroldis Chapman was accused by his girlfriend of choking her. he denies it and she never went forward to charge him. but he also admitted to and was later suspended by Major League Baseball for firing his pistol at trashcans inside his garage, alone, after a dispute with his girlfriend (who was inside the house at the time). the police came out but nothing ever was made of it.

until now that he is in Chicago. some within the Friendly Confines say this “taints” the feel good squad that includes the bromance of Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant (and his dreamy eyes).

what say you? how do you feel that someone accused of being a girlfriend beater is on your favorite team?

Curious But Skeptical

well thats an odd way of framing it, but I’ll bite.

the last time i checked we still live in the United States of America where not only are you innocent until proven guilty but once you are formally accused you have the right to Due Process, meaning you go to court, and all the evidence comes out and a jury decides whats what.

the interesting thing about court cases is they sometimes bring about omg facts that were missing in the original account of the alleged crime.

if you think i am being soft on Chapman because he is a Cub and is probably the missing ingredient for my beloved Cubs finally winning the World Series, you would be way off.

i was raised in a house of three people: my mom and my sister. if i found out that any man, including a left handed closer with a 105 MPH heater laid hands on either of them I would probably murder the man. on Periscope.

likewise I think condemning someone without Due Process is also evil. we have a process. it hurts me that more battered women do not always participate in that process, and i do understand why they dont, but we do not have a justice system of “Fuck It He PROBABLY DID IT”. other civilizations have that one and it’s a way bigger nightmare than ours.

because this is a sensitive situation and we do have SOME evidence, let’s review it and see what we can see.

Less than a year ago cops came to Chapman’s home in Florida. Lots of people were at his house including his girlfriend and her brother.

she said

When police got there the girlfriend said that she FOUND SOMETHING ON HIS PHONE that they started arguing about

he retrieved the phone and walked to another part of the house. she followed him, still arguing — all of this is her testimony.

finally he pushes her against the wall and her brother separates them.

she runs off, hears one gunshot.

ok from that account is that domestic abuse? domestic violence? or something a little less horrible?

luckily we have his take too

he said

he agrees that they were arguing about his cell phone and its contents.

he says he poked her pinched her and she dramatically fell to the ground and started yelling, which prompted the brother to come in and push Him to the ground.

Chapman got up and wanted to drive away but his friends wouldnt let him leave.

so in the passenger seat, he grabs a gun, locked himself in the garage and starts shooting inside in the garage.

his friends lock him in his room and the cops came.

things he’s guilty of:

you should never put your hands on a woman

you should never have things on your phone that your girlfriend is gonna get pissed at

you should never own a gun in florida because those are known to go off – especially during heated arguments

why are you shooting at things in your garage? bullets ricochet!

things he is not guilty of:

when we think of domestic abuse, none of what was written in the police report rises to the level of domestic violence.

unlike me, Cubs President Theo Epstein is a genius and cares just as much about Team Chemistry as speed of a fastball.

i seriously don’t think that with all of the talent that the Cubs have to trade for a strong arm that Theo would have traded for Chapman if he thought a) Chapman could actually become a domestic abuser b) thought Champan ever did anything illegal or immoral to his girlfriend or c) is emotionally unstable

Indeed here is what the young man said yesterday about his girlfriend, who STILL is his girlfriend and who still lives with him

cubs

so enjoy this team and enjoy the Cubs march to many years of triumph.

 

dear tony, are you sure you’re not a rock star?

tom morello

let’s see…
cubs hat: check
cubs shirt: check
beautiful cherry wood gibson SG: check
but i let my axe hang a lot lower than that
also, the only time i wear a cubs hat and cubs shirt at the same time is at Wrigley Field

but i do love Tom Morello and Rage and what he wrote in yesterdays LA Times

is better than anything i ever wrote there times 100

there was a time when the cubs could barely justify one all star

kunta

yesterday it was announced that they would be sending SEVEN Cubs to San Dieger

next week for the All Star Game:

their entire infield, their center fielder

and their two best pitchers.

in a perfect world id be going too, but tickets are ridiculously expensive.

and also i hate san diego and i hope if falls into the sea.

and also they are making the players wear uniforms reminiscent of the 1984 Padres

which is on top of my list of reasons for hating san diego

and hoping it sinks into a sweaty goob of magma.

but still i would love to go to the game but

i will instead watch it on tv

like a proper american

without having to leave my humble abode.

(still sorta hoping for magma)