i drove all night through the desert.

it could be symbolic if you look at things that way.

it was too quick. was it even a vacation? a long weekend? a spiritual journey to find my Chi?

parts of arizona are beautiful and fantastic.

some of it is inauthentic and artificial.

and some of it is lost and forgotten.

my room was for a handicapable person. symbolic? the pool was fantastic but hardly anyone was in it.

kids went nuts because it was big and warm and it had a little waterfall.

but it had all seen better days. i got the room off Priceline name yr own price which is still my favorite way to book hotels.

i ate in as many crappy fast food establishments as i could.

sadly i had to go to walmart in the middle of the night for something that i now forget.

seeing the cubs was fantastic but the best part was when a native american man in a KC Royals shirt came up to me to ask me about the DH rule in NL parks in spring training.

we talked for a while complimenting each others teams.

baseball teams should do a Humans of New York style deal in their instagrams. this guy would have been superb.

drank an Old Style. ate a Portillos italian beef.

drove back through the desert to get home. where its cold and drizzly.

like an entirely different world.

theres a lot of space and the weathers nice.

maybe thats why they built a million baseball parks like it aint no thing.

today i took a dry run over to where the cubs play now in the spring.

no more HoHoKam Park, which is where i last saw the Cubs in spring training way back in the day.

now it’s Sloan Park named after the Chicago company Sloan Valve Co.

who?

actually Sloan Valve Co has been making something very important for over the last 100 years.

in 1905 they created the Royal Flushometer, it is the magic that makes a toilet or urinal flush.

for the first few years sales suffered because people were still using outhouses

but in 1908, yes THAT 1908, shit went down and Sloan took off and have never looked back.

so what about these new no-flush urinals, hows Sloan gonna compete against these newfangled environmentally safer piss pots? have no fear, Sloan makes waterless urinals too, so relax.

Sloan Park can accompany 15,000 fans which is the most of any spring training facility.

all i know is they sell Portillo’s Italian Beef sandwiches.  let’s see if they still serve Old Style there

Munenori Kawasaki, recently acquired from Toronto seems to be doing his part of keeping the team loose. The light hitting IF led the Cubs into singing Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” while the team wore headbands with Japanese sayings such as “Must Win” and “Fighting Spirit.”

Munenori Kawasaki sparked the Cubs’ morning stretch Friday by singing karaoke to Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” and he inspired players to wear headbands with Japanese sayings such as “Must Win” and “Fighting Spirit.”

Watch this and tell me you’re not inspired to take a road trip to Mesa and see these dudes get ready to win the World Series.

shhhhh don’t tell anyone

it’s a magic trick done right in front of everyones faces

it’s a bank robbery where the crooks say, we’re gonna rob the wells fargo on this street on this date at this time

and not only will we take all the money but we’re gonna bake a cake in the employees break room.

here are the gentlemen who will pull the heist of a lifetime

Pitchers

79 Andury Acevedo
49 Jake Arrieta
32 Dallas Beeler
50 Rex Brothers
53 Trevor Cahill
36 Aaron Crow
6 Carl Edwards Jr.
57 Stephen Fife
48 Brandon Gomes
52 Justin Grimm
39 Jason Hammel
28 Kyle Hendricks
80 Pierce Johnson
45 Eric Jokisch
41 John Lackey
51 Jack Leathersich
34 Jon Lester
63 Jean Machi
62 Edgar Olmos
40 Spencer Patton
83 Felix Pena
38 Jon Pettibone
54 Neil Ramirez
33 Clayton Richard
60 C.J. Riefenhauser
81 Armando Rivero
56 Hector Rondon
59 Zac Rosscup
55 Drew Rucinski
46 Pedro Strop
71 Duane Underwood
43 Adam Warren
87 Ryan Williams
37 Travis Wood

Catchers

76 Willson Contreras
82 Taylor Davis
15 Tim Federowicz
47 Miguel Montero
3 David Ross
12 Kyle Schwarber

Infield

7 Arismendy Alcantara
9 Javier Baez
17 Kris Bryant
75 Jeimer Candelario
29 Jesus Guzman
66 Munenori Kawasaki
2 Tommy La Stella
19 Kristopher Negron
44 Anthony Rizzo
27 Addison Russell
61 Christian Villanueva
74 Dan Vogelbach
18 Ben Zobrist

Outfield

78 Albert Almora
72 John Andreoli
8 Chris Coghlan
22 Jason Heyward
21 Matt Murton
5 Juan Carlos Perez
68 Jorge Soler
20 Matt Szczur

unless you wear a size 6 7/8, you’re outta luck if you want a Cubs official spring training cap

the cubs appear to be the favorites to win the world series

and are probably faves to dominate through most of this century

after graciously giving much of the last one to the yankees, dodgers and cardinals

but this one is ours and everyone knows it so when this cute little number hit the digital shelves

they flew off like hotcakes (but why would you do that to a hotcake?)

foolishly i thought the league woulda made tons of these, so i’ve gotta find one somewhere

maybe my mom can hunt me down one back home in illinois

your boy wears a 7 1/8.

ive been wearing a Cubs hat since i was a lad.

when i was in high school id walk down the hall and people would pass me by and say

cubs suck
cubs suck
oh god the cubs suck
cubs lost yesterday
cubs suck
cubs rule!
cubs suck

in college i would wear it and people would say omg are you from chicago? and id say the burbs – represent! and we’d talk about the cubs or chicago or where they were from or whathaveyou.

but nowadays i wear my hat and dudes mostly say your team is great or your team is doing great or things of that nature.

today i was at a Panerra Bread and i saw a dude with a black Cubs hat with a white C on it and i said, nice hat.

he didnt notice my blue Cubs hat (Post Season edition) and said, are you from Chicago?

i spun my hat around and he was all ooooooh hi!!!

he told me that most people make fun of him i said, i dont know anything about that.

the good news about the Cubs getting ready to win the world series is this year im ready for it. i have all the hats i need. now i need one that says world champs. or greatest team of the 21st century. or f you white sox on the side.

or this ones for you, harry

it will be a very special day. i’ll probably cry and propose marriage to the first girl i see. we’ll probably make out right there in the street.

there will be humping. who knows. consummation. fluids of all sorts.

a child will be conceived. one that will be called

champion.

or pion for short.

and she will rule us all.