if theres one thing the Bible’s taught me is to give to beggars
today after food shopping at the Jon’s, this car pulls up as amber and i were pushing our cart in the dark parking lot
hey man sorry to bother you i just really need some food for my wife and kids you can write down the license plate of the car if you want
i asked for a moment. we finished rolling to my trunk. amber gave me two bucks and i gave it to the guy. all warm in his car.
and he rolled away.
a drive by begging.
i had to do this thing in Hollywood this morning and i found myself doing the thing that i used to tell people to do.
comic book legend Stan Lee died. i was really close to hollywood and highland where all these cartoon characters hang out shaking down tourists for money.
i had this crazy idea that all the Marvel ones (the hulk, iron man, black panther, black widow, captain america, wolverine, etc) might be hanging out at his star because thats where the fans would go, no?
no. turned out neither of the spider men knew even who Stan was
but fortunately there was a Cap and a Logan who totally knew what was up and were willing to talk to me quickly so i could get a few quotes, take a few pics, and zip it over to LAist before lunch.
it was startling how easy the words came out of me in writing this little thing. with LAist i know exactly what humor to inject and where the line is. bing bang boom it was over before it started which was great because i had a big day planned for me for the secret project.
the talented mike roe, comic book expert had just posted his obit, so it fit nicely under the tweets. teamwork makes the dream work and they were able to move on to more pressing issues like these damn fires.
read the whole thing here.
everything about her was smooth.
perfectly dressed. great sunglasses.
picked her up somewhere classy, dropped her off at a studio.
the whole time she was on the phone with this one and that one
and she was happy and smart and eloquent
and so insightful about this big director
and how to tell in an email if he had been drinking
because if he had you can disregard the tone.
she and i never talked but by piecing together the cast of characters
it was easy to find her imdb.
and when i got to where she had started in hollywood
i totally understood why she had such an even keeled disposition.
cuz that show was incredible.
even though i worked at e! and now where i do,
i have learned way more about hollywood from driving people in an out of century city
for uber
because these people are always on the phone
and this city is way smaller than it appears.
i just wish i knew who they were first because we would have better convos.
and you’re waiting in a line that wont move and amber says hey im gonna get some bananas at the Jons and i’ll meet you outside.
and you wait and you wait and as you’re waiting you hear the booming sounds of what appears to be a band playing.
now you’re old enough to remember when rock music used to float through the air all the time.
but those times are long gone.
so when you connect with her outside you say, hey lets go over to that alley to see what local schmos are about to get shut down because clearly this music is too loud.
and as you walk with your pillows and bananas
you see a tiny little crowd in the alley are looking over a fence
and you get closer and notice theres an entire parking lot fenced off with a huge catering situation. really good smelling food and people in chefs outfits scrambling.
then you see a security guard but not in a cheesy Don Knotts outfit but a suit and tie like the Secret Service. and he’s guarding the back of what appears to be a stage.
and then you hear what has to be the worlds greatest Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band break into “Under The Bridge”
and someone nods their head.
and you see Flea’s head bounce above the fence.
and then you realize, uh, this is one of rock’s biggest bands playing 10 feet away from you
playing one huge hit after another.
so you keep standing there with 5-6 others and no one moves you and no one tells you to get lost
and amber goes to a woman smoking by the back door
and the woman says,
Randy Newman is coming on next.
and you’re all,
you mean one of my favorite musicians of all time?
you mean the same guy who I chose to see over seeing Stevie Ray Vaughn w/ BB King or The Who because they were all playing the same night in 1991 in LA
and even though i sorta regret never seeing SRV, i thoroughly enjoyed seeing Randy at the Universal Ampitheater that night.
and the stars say yes.
but it was taking a while.
and two college aged kids came out through the back entrance. past the secret service dude.
and i say, hey is it true that Randy Newman is on next.
and they say are you kidding us right now?
i say no, youre in there do you know if anyone else is playing?
and they say, oh youre serious? we are Randy’s children.
and we LOL and chat and i tell them to tell their dad that he’s amazing.
and 10 minutes later Randy walks from a car to that back entrance and plays.
and as he does Chad Smith from the Chili’s has a smoke and a chat and poses with Amber Smith and then puts on his motorcycle helmet and hops on his bike and zooms home
into the hills of Hollywood.
where 100% true stories like this happen.
one thing ive seen is the magic power of the people.
ive also see the magic power of super terrible d bags.
other day i was walking down my street and this family was walking their new puppy.
puppy squats down and unloads a big steaming log.
nice old asian lady was watching to see what they were gonna do because it was gross.
family just kept moving.
lady yells PICK UP AFTER DOG
PICK UP AFTER DOG!
the dad placed his cigarette into his mouth and raised his hand up in the air and flipped her a bird.
my mouth was agape.
old lady’s mouth was agape!
even the little puppy’s mouth was agape because even the puppy knew you shouldnt flip off old ladies.
then from above us the clouds grew dark, congregated, shook a little
and then lightning struck the dad dead right there on Cahuenga.
a little smoke rose from his heap.
the dog sniffed the dad only to be tugged away by the leash which was now being held by the mom.
the family began walking again.
old lady yelled PICK UP AFTER DAD
PICK
UP
AFTER
DAD!
Jimble Kimble is my favorite late night host
he is the everyman who worked his way up from radio to the Man Show to somehow making his way as Adam Carolla’s side kick to Howard Stern’s BFF and the host of the Oscars
he took every step the way you’d want. He hired his high school BFF to lead his band (along with his buddy’s dad), his Cousin Sal does bits, his wife writes his jokes, his ex girlfriend is a regular guest, we hear about his mom, his Aunt Chippy, and he has made his little security guard Guillermo a star on his own.
the selflessness is beautiful.
he even built a concert stage behind his studio so when bands play a couple hundred of their fans can enjoy the mini concert.
last night Jimmy shared something so scary. His newborn son was born with a heart disease. They rushed from Ceders in Beverly Hills to Childrens Hospital blocks from my house.
This hospital deserves all the praise. I’ve never heard anything but giant praise from them. I need to give them all of my video games.
So many prayers for Jimmy and his family.
some of my favorite movies and tv shows were made here like
The Brady Bunch
M*A*S*H*
Taxi
Cheers
Forrest Gump
Family Ties
Happy Days
Mork & Mindy
Sunset Blvd
Psycho
Rear Window
Vertigo
Duck Soup
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Chinatown
The Godfather
Citizen Kane
Grease
Coming to America
Flashdance
The Bad News Bears
Airplane
Beverly Hills Cop
Iron Man
and endless others
and for some reason i’d never been there.
yesterday someone said that we really needed about 30 to 50 Baby Trombones
and someone else said he thought he saw some at Paramount
no one wanted to go because the place is huge, where would you find them,
and how weird would people think you are if you asked them?
so i volunteered as tribute and it was super hot. and bigger than i thought it would be.
there were bikes and golf carts everywhere. but none said busblog on them. so i walked, and walked and walked.
did i mention how hot it was today?
while it was fascinating walking down the “New York Street”, because im a weirdo,
i liked seeing the empty stages better.
they were giant and they were totally barren inside.
my imagine ran wild.
outside each of the stages they had a little plaque listing all of the movies and tv shows that had been filmed in there.
every stage had an impressive plaque. 
i walked past the bungalows with the execs,
i strolled past the writers rooms, editing, costumes, set design
and then i saw it
just sitting there on a loading dock
and just as many as what we were looking for
but i hadnt been there very long so i kept walking around
heres the funny thing
if you live in LA, especially hollywood or the west side, you’re gonna see a celebrity from time to time.
you might even find yourself interacting with them because, you know,
stars, theyre just like us.
i walked around freaking paramount
for maybe two hours
and i didnt see one star.
as far as i know
but heres the funny thing
i turned the corner and there was the kogi truck
and i nearly fainted out of true love.
then i heard gun shots
and i snapped right out of it
but then i saw a sign
so i sat down to chill
it was hot
to me it’s the best street in LA by far
you’ll see people in costume, sunburnt euro tourists, homeless strangers, pickpockets,
businessmen, politicians, superstars, students, hooter girls, impersonators, commuters,
guys dressed up as thor
and even academy award super fans like this lady who i wanted to get to know but i was actually sorta in a meeting on the red carpet and i had to excuse myself and take a picture of her because
she
is the reason i love hollywood, hollywood blvd, and the scene around hollywood & highland
i love these people because theyre having fun in a place where there isnt very much to do.
sure you can shop and eat and look but you cant really do.
so people walk around and some of them think that this is what LA is and who knows maybe it is (it’s not) and its not really glamorous, in fact it’s kinda the opposite of glamorous most of the time.
but once a year some of the most glamorous people in the world dress up as great as they can and everyone watches it on tv and some people get super into it.
and if theres something i love its when people get really into something. so hats off to you oscar superfan lady.
next stop February
lapd, feb 2
no one thought that if you put a tent over freshly planted palm trees that theyd wither and die, until it started to happen
wilton & santa monica, feb 6
somehow this business went out of business
sunset & western, feb 7
while eating a mcrib in the parkinglot of the FoodsCo i didnt see any seagulls, then i saw this.
city hall, feb 9
turned out to be rainbow week
next door to florentine gardens, hollywood blvd, feb 11
let freedom sing
kenneth hahn park, feb 12
i was asked to take a picture for a postcard
target parking lot, burbank, feb 26
turned out to be rainbow month. they even appeared when babes burped.
vons, los feliz, feb 27
sheep getting frisky at the checkout stand
they’re loud, proud, and not at all the lil cutesy band you may have once heard
all the boys wanted photos (check it out after the jump)