i know im not the easiest man to date.

especially over long periods of time. being as old as i am has its advantages but also disadvantages like, for example, i know another chick is right around the corner if this chick bails. im not sure thats as healthy to a relationship as it should be.

im also not afraid to die. and not afraid not to have kids or be married before i die. im not sure that either of those things are good for a strong bond.

seems to me fear is important in relationships, but im not afraid of anything. if a girl wants to make me feel lonely or alone, she can give it a shot, but as an accused hermit with dsl directv tivo and the netflix of porn, odds are im not going to be lonley for too long. plus theres that business about that chick around the corner.

with that said i want to be good to the girls i date. and i want to be honest and i want to let them know how i feel about them. and yes i play favorites and im not always consisistant, but usually i am, and usually everyone knows whats going on.

but usually doesnt mean always and i have to apologize to ms anna kournikova who is so mad at me right now that she might go off and do something rash like marry that dude whateverhisname is who plucked out his mole for her and stopped singing terrible songs or at least just keeping them in south america where people just dont know any better although they really did love pantera and maiden way more than youd expect.

anyway, anna, im sorry. i thought you were cool with everything but i guess i didnt tell you enough. of course i like you more than just for your body and for your hair and your accent and the way we kiss when we kiss.

youve taught me tons about lots of things like russia and communism, you taught me about how marketing isnt a bad thing cuz as in your example only a handful of people are going to have nice long successful careers and its good to go out there and get whats yours while you can.

and most of all you taught me that some girls cant get their titties felt up enough. and i appreciate that cuz i always thought that a fella oughtta pay attention to the tits but not over do it.

so thanks.

whatever you decide to do is cool with me.



memorial day always makes me sad

so last night the fates allowed me to have a new hot chick spend the night with.

we listened to live ozzy with randi rhodes on vh-1 classics, we had dinner at 7-11, and when we got home we marveled at welch’s smiths cover,

and then she wanted to see old pictures of me for some reason.

i thought that it would make me sad but it didnt this time.

no idea why.

i noticed that my afro was usually fucked up.

but i also noticed that 3 out of 4 envelopes of photos always included at least one picture of someone lifting their shirt. usually it was my true love.

ive had a good life, it was agreed. and she said, if theres anything that we should do on memorial day it’s not to be depressed about how things should be right now but be happy for how we got here and what is bound to happen in the present and the future.

and try not to think of war.

i was all, arent we supposed to think of only war and soldiers on memorial day? isnt that the point of the day off of work?

she said technically. but they fought for our freedoms, including the freedom of choice. and if you choose to think about things like, i dont know, making out, maybe thats ok.

girls say those things but they dont mean it, i thought. they say making out but they mean fucking. there was nothing in that girl that wanted to make out. she never looked at my lips. she had knee high boots. little skirt that was always flashing something or someone. lil fake plastic dracula teeth. and a tattoo that said tattoo in japanese.

maybe shed make out when you were doing her but the pre makeout session wouldnt be all that great or long, i thought.

and i was right.

as always.

and if i was smart i’d head down to staples and get a two hundred dollar playoff ticket for fourty and watch the lakers cruise into the finals.

but even though im usually right, im not smart. smart requires logic. and a shred of normalcy. and if i even had a shred of normalcy i wouldnt be blogging at ten thirty eight on a gorgeous monday morning in hollywood.

flagrant‘s blogging in africa + bunnie blogs for a full hour + if i was maxim i would hire raymi to blog for me