stole a car this afternoon when i shoulda been workin.

human contactit was in the valley. it was hot in the val. dropped the top down. it wasnt a convertable but now it is.

xbi has “lasers”.

drove around listening to r.e.m’s “electrolite” since it was in the car. they had a DAT player cuz this is LA and if youre in the industry you have DAT players.

hadnt hear that one in a while and it was nice on an afternoon of sin playing hookey from work on a spring day where the smog chilled at 10 thousand feet and the traffic on the 101 was minimal.

sped past palm trees and wondered if they liked where they were, watching traffic, witnessing accidents and tragedies. i think about trees alot. especially palm trees.

your first year at the xbi they try to see how far you’ll go, as far as breaking the law. usually that means who will you steal from and how much and how big.

cars are the easiest.

i once stole a man’s pool table from his condo on wilshire. after that they asked me not to steal things any more.

the man was my boss.

now and then people try to call me old because my belly is growing or my bald head blinds them or because i cant run as fast as i once could, and in those times i think of little ways to remind them that i am not only the man, but the best agent in the agency.

so this afternoon i stole a car, turned it into a convertible and drove it from sherman oaks back to our westwood office which is carefully hidden underneath the mormon tabernacle on santa monica.

the car’s owner? the cheif’s wife.

the cd: r.e.m’s “In Time: The Best of REM 1988-2003”.

yes im playing with fire.

yes, i think it’s sad that over the last 15 years this is what r.e.m’s best songs are 1)man on the moon 2) night swimming 3)losing my religion 4) electrolite 5)everybody hurts and 6)what’s the frequency, kenneth?

i thought southern guys were supposed to be more creative than that?

even though he came out, im starting to think stipey is a yankee, cuz shit man, six good songs in 15 years is pure east coast  production. whaddup g?

parked the woman’s beemer on the lawn of the tabernacle broke the cd in four places and placed it carefully on the hood.

simpleton + chokey chicken + kenneth cowan

before i joined the xbi, i used to work for an internet company.

we provided world class customer support to dot coms who did business over the web.

the coolest thing we did was support through live chat.

this weekend i was bidding on some Prince tickets at Staples so i could take my truest.

while bidding, i realized that the auction seem too good to be true. yes it was in the last row of the upper deck, but why was the guy offering free shipping? and why was it that this guy had never had anything for sale before?

so i wanted to ask eBay if it was ok for me to retract my bid for those reasons.

the biggest thing that we wanted to do at my old company was have The answer. and deliver it friendly and quickly.

did eBay’s Live Help do that? you be the judge:

Your chat session started.

Anthony L.: Welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Anthony L. and thank you for waiting. How may I help you?

tony: hello

Anthony L.: Hello,

tony: i dont trust an auction that im bidding on

tony: can i retract my bid for that reason?


Anthony L.: I am very sorry, since there are only 2 hours 0 mins left, you cannot retract the bid.

Anthony L.: There must be at least 12 hours left for you to retract a bid.

tony: what happens if it’s a fake auction?

tony: can i buy insurance?

Anthony L.: That is a good question! I appreciate you for asking that and I am glad to guide you to the right place so you can get help for this although I am unable to address your concern.

Anthony L.: This situation requires the attention of a Safeharbor representative and you can send them an email using the following link:

Anthony L.:

tony: ive seen ebay insurance before, is it for only the seller,or for the buyer too?

Anthony L.: It is intended for buyers (Buyer Protection Program).

tony: great, thank you.

Anthony L.: You’re very welcome!

tony: so if i buy these tickets and its fake, i get most of my money back right?

Anthony L.: Yes, that is usually the case.

Anthony L.: Our Safe Harbor department will be able to investigate this situation and help you further.

tony: awesome

tony: thank you for your help!

Anthony L.: You’re very welcome! Is there anything else I can help you with today?

tony: no thanks!

tony: bye

Anthony L.: You’re very welcome! Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help and you have a pleasant afternoon.

Anthony L.: It was a pleasure chatting with you. Goodbye.

You ended your chat session.

bluecad used me as a model for her layout… again + allison is taking cool pics + broken train

im running into a situation with miss montreal that i ran in with my true love

several years ago.

the problem is, what do you do when you want to hang out with a girl who is superclose to her best friend who is also her roommate?

in the past i told my truest that i wasnt dating two girls, i was dating one, and she needed to tell her best friend that she had to pick between me and her pal.

it was an ugly situation and i regret that it went down the way it did.

so now its interesting that i find myself in the same conundrum. (new game: every time i use a big word you need to take a shot. so, drink.)

the lovely miss montreal, in this instance, has a lovely roommate who is going through a rocky period with her beau. in order not to “rub it in the face” of the young lady, miss montreal has begun limiting the amount of time that she spends in my many mansions.

at first this hurt my ego, and made things a little more lonely for me. although i probably could have a girlfriend right now, i chose not to, but it is nice to have someone as sweet as this canadian young woman and beautiful and fun, as an overnight guest. it would be nice not to have to even consider the feelings (and possible loneliness) of another adult, like her roommate, who is exceedingly attractive and mature, but i must, even though one would think she could find a new boytoy in the snap of a finger.

so this weekend she came over, we hung, she used me, and when she was done she left me dazzled and dehydrated in a mess on my couch.


i felt good, but i was alone.

problem with dating hot babes is theyre in demand.

is it annoying? oui.

is she worth it?


so i fired up the tv, ordered a pizza and watched Best Week Ever on tivo, and then the sopranos.

and passed out on my couch before 10pm.

woke up alone at 3am and made the walk of shame upstairs to my bedroom.

and fell asleep again. only to wake up a few hours later.



with nothing but strands of pom-poms littered around my front door.

as apparently clipper girl had tried to wake me up last night but i sleep like a figgin rock.

danielle + leah + it was bunnie‘s birthday this weekend and i forgot cuz i suck

when the sopranos have dream sequences

it reminds you that there is plenty of room for art in television drama. it harkens back to a more simpler time when Twin Peaks was throwing curveball after curveball at the viewer tripping us out with backwards talking midgets and whispering homecoming queens.

dreams are the lies that our minds tell us at our most vulnerable, and for a show that is set around the discussions between a shrink and the head of a mob family dreams mean much much more.

last night the sopranos spun us so far into a dream sequence that at one point we didnt know if it was an entire dream episode and even though it could have been an incredibly amazing alice-in-wonderland of psychedelia and psycho-self-awarness through one of the most compelling tv characters, tony soprano, it fell flat and was neither hallucinatory or important to the plot.

it seemed like a lazy way to fill an hour during a week when the writers didnt know how to move the story along.

it was a waste of terrific artistic device: the dream as truth serum.

it was a waste of momentum that the sopranos have had over the last few episodes.

and it a waste of a great opportunity to get meadow and christopher’s fiance into a bikini.

and yet still it was the most interesting programming on television last week next to the spurs+lakers game on thursday when derek fisher changed the destinies of karl malone and gary payton with :004 left on the clock.

the college of creative studies at ucsb, where i attended college, was pretty unified against dream sequences in stories. they considered it too easy for the writer and too cheap against the reader. in a dream you never know whats true for the character and whats bullshit. they could have put tony soprano in a dress last night in his dream and it could have meant 1,000 things, none of which would have been true.

the arguement in creative studies is, if youre going to make your character reveal something in a dream, let them reveal it while awake and the consequences are much more interesting, and the effect will be more powerful.

for example, in last night’s dream episode, tony soprano recalls a former love who is no longer with us. he dreams that she is now his shrink and they have a discussion. my former teachers would have asked, “why don’t you just have his shrink role-play with tony? have him pretend that dr. mulfrey is his deceased ex-love-interest and have them talk to each other using the same lines in the dream sequence. this way conscious tony soprano is more than just a bright-eyed open-mouthed doe freaking out at the craziness happening around him and instead has the ability to break down and cry or say things to the now-dead woman that he didnt have a chance to say to her.”

instead, as jeff jarvis pointed out, there is no satisfying payoff. the plot development has been stymied with watered-down shadowplay and the audience is left scratching their heads and possibly dissapointed on an otherwise lovely sunday evening in the springtime.

no more dream sequences, sopranos, unless it involves talking fish, crossdressing mafia-men, or pole dancing from the protagonist’s mother daughter and wife at the bada-bing.

weissblog + my single mom life + oriental redneck