biggest issue i have with the current administration

is that they seem to want us to live the lives of the pussy ass bitches

instead of setting the tone as the courageous american leaders that we are.

the typical cycle of mundane human existence is generally (1) fight for what you want, (2) get it, (3) and then hold on to it as tightly and fearfully as you can.

rodents follow the same patterns.

enlightened human beings who chose to actually live their lives can shed their natural inclinations and say to themselves,

“oh look how far i made it actually working for what i have… i dont need to live in a place of fear that some lesser creature can steal what i have and leave me with zero forever.”

courageous people know that they can just yank back what was rightfully theirs.

today i invite you to yank back your courage, america.

dont you remember the hours after 9/11? so many people were all, “point me towards those asswipes, i’ll take em on bare handed.”

america isnt used to being the cowering victims in dire need of homeland security. we’re the ones who invented the signs that say “Forget the Dog, Beware the Owner.”

we’re the one’s who nail up the placard that say, “This House Protected by Smith & Wesson”.

we’re the ones with the flag of the rattlesnake that warns Don’t Tread on Me.

and most of us here live with that feeling in our hearts.

so no, im not afraid of any phony baloney terrorists so backwards that they blow themselves up as they try to take out busses.

im not afraid of some sand hitler who gasses his own people with the dow chemicals that we sold him.

im not afraid of the nukes in china or north korea or anywhere, especially in iraq since there arent any there anyway.

i am born and raised american the only fear i have is that there wont be enough ass for me to kick in Heaven when i get there.

so yes mr bush i reject the horror stories that you continue to read us as we lay our heads to sleep. shove your terror alert warnings back in your texas spiderholes.

if you cannot run for office based on policies of possibilities and probabilities then you have no business running for office in this country because this aint the home of the scared.

its the home of the busblog.

where freedom will ring with or without dingalings like you.

what wasnt killed three years ago has only made us stronger.

it’s time to come from a position of strength pussy ass bitch.

like we’re used to.

like the way things are.

now watch me hit this drive.

party poker + anti + doc searls

tonight karisa and i are going to see the beastie boys

at the universal amphitheatre.

as you know, karisa and i go way back but for some reason we’ve never seen the beasties together – totally our favorite band!

when i first met karisa, as has been documented several times, she was interviewing for a job at the dot com that i worked at.

it was my responsibility to seperate the riff from the raff and encourage all the kool kids to work for us for extremely low wages.

karisa took the bait in part because i was wearing a beastie boys tshirt at her interview.

infact we talked at length about the obvious brilliance of paul’s boutique and the overshadowed magic within the grooves of check your head.

only after she recited the entirity of Paul Revere did i hire her.

after making her sweat when she missed a line.

in truth i was leaning toward hiring her anyway but dont tell her.

since then pretty much every time that we’ve hung out together there have been beastie boys music rockin her xterra.

i remember one particular evening she was driving me home after we saw a knights tale and we started singing pass the mic quite loudly as we rolled down santa monica blvd.

this new record doesnt turn me on. it doesnt turn her on neither. i like the Triple Trouble single, but thats about it.

i have seen every beastie boys tour since their first album. Beasties + Run DMC + Grandmaster Flash at the hollywood paladium was my first experience followed with the same lineup at the Greek later that summer.

as a stereo salesman Licensed to Ill sold me hella speakers and even more subwoofers.

i have seen them at lollapalooza, ive seen them in the round, ive seen them do a little unplugged gig at mccabes guitar shop when they did everything in spanglish.

tonight i will see them from the fifth row thanks to a tip from my bro rob, thanks rob, and it will be the first time witnessing them with your girl karisa and i’m stoked.

there were rumours of tailgating and hot boxing before the show but we’re old so we will probably just do some quick shots at BB Kings like yuppies and haul ass across the CityWalk.

jaylex + iron mouth + kristi with a k

how to vote

by tony pierce

forget about what your parents want you to do. forget about what your stupid fucking friends want you to do. forget about everything other than what you want to do.

vote with your heart.

you do so little with your heart, practice when you vote and do the right thing.

dont get confused with the menutia. dont get psyched out with the bullshit. if someone says that this particular politician lies, guess what, they all fucking lie. vote for the person who best represents your ideals.

dont vote from a place of fear. use the force luke. fear is for pussy ass bitches who dont live in the united states. forget the lying liars who tell you that if you vote one way or the other that it will ruin the country. this country is unsinkable.

in the last 4 years we’ve gone from the biggest surplus ever to the biggest deficit ever. in the last 4 years we were terrorized, we went to war, and we sorta lost. in the last 4 years the gas prices have skyrocketed, the stock market plummeted, the real estate prices have gone up, and we saw a nipple during halftime of the superbowl.

the nation didnt sink. it barely even blinked. this country can survive pretty much anything, it can take whatever vote you have. so do it, fuck. vote.

if you think one guy is a fucking retard, dont vote for him. no matter what.

if you think another guy is a fucking wimp, dont vote for him. no matter what.

pretend you’re the head coach and your team is in the fourth quarter of the superbowl. if you’re happy with the quarterback leave him in. if youre not happy with the quarterback yank his loser ass off the field.

if youre afraid that you will have to explain your vote to your friends/coworkers/family ask yourself how long youve been such a spineless bitch.

it’s nobody’s business who you voted for which is why they have that curtain there. and anyone who asks you what you do in private deserves to be lied to. visciously.

if someone asks you who you voted for say nader. if they tell you that you wasted your vote tell them you voted your conscious which is never a waste.

tell them that only the two major parties ever say that voting for a third party is a wasted vote. tell them that it’s unamerican to tell someone that their vote is a waste. every vote matters. even theirs.

a month before the election send away for an absentee ballot. take your time going over all the propositions and people trying to get elected. dont vote for things based on what the ballot says. vote for things based on what the internet says. read mroe than one source.

if you live in a big city, read what the commie free weekly says about an issue, then read what the megaconglomorate daily newspaper has to say about an issue. somewhere in the middle is the truth.

dont think that if you vote for social programs that everyone will instantly go on welfare and suck from the teet of taxpayers. businesses suck on that teet way more than individuals.

dont think that if you vote for a proposition entitled “clean air and water” that it is Only about having clean air and water, there will probably be other crazy things added to that bill that has nothing to do with air or water. find out what else is in that bill and then decide. if youre too lazy to research, vote against it.

if you dont know who your representatives are, vote them out. theyre not representing you.

similarily it never hurts to vote against the judges.

and it never hurts to vote against the DA.

give people in public office a scare.

make them beg for their cush jobs. make them get on their knees for you. they work for us, dont ever let them forget that.

right after the 1992 elections i sent letters to bill clinton, sen barbara boxer and sen diane feinstein. i told them congratulations on winning and that i wanted them to do two things for me.

i told them that i wanted them to legalize marijuana and put free condoms in malls because i was sick of our tax monies being spent for the unwinable war on drugs and i was sick of the most advanced nation in the world having people die of AIDS because there weren’t condoms everywhere.

then i told them that if they did either of those things OR sent me an autographed picture then i would vote for them every time they ran.

one person sent me an autographed picture.

two people completely ignored me.

the person who sent me the picture?

the president of the united states.

vote for the people who pay attention to you and do as you say.

and vote out the bastards who treat you like crap.

danielle is back + amy tells us about stacy sullivan + koganuts + kimbalina (above)