so what do you do

fantastic daywhen you come home after a hard day and you see a hand written note on your front door threatening you if you continue to write negative things about the president of the united states on your blog.

you blog of course.

dear needle dicks

i am going to the pixies concert in about 20 minutes. it should last a few hours.

when i come home i want you to be there. i will make sure that i am alone.

if you want to be there alone, you can. if you want to bring some friends, be my guest but i only want to talk to you.

for five minutes, as thats all youre worth.

youre not worth that little time because of your beliefs, but because of your practices. plus i barely see my own friends for more than five minutes a week, so dont go thinking that im disrespecting you because im not. even if you disrespected me.

and my beautiful door.

you may want to fight me. that would be a dumb thing to want, but ive noticed that not too many intellectuals follow the causes that you’re aligning yourself with. therefore if we must throwdown leave your wallet at home as it is xbi policy to rid our adversaries of their dead presidents after you force us into action.

you might want to leave your shoes in your car because sometimes we like to take those as youre shaking on the street too.

i realize that politics usually brings out the worst in people and rarely their best, which is why i try to keep my writing out of the genre. but i read a lot and when i see that a point isnt being spoken about, i try to say it. or in this case, write it down.

yes it’s true that i write on the web site that you mentioned under a different name. it’s true that i have the beliefs that i have, and you have yours. what’s false is the impression that you have that if you intimidate enough writers to shut up then your man will win the election. that concept is infact laughable. i am laughing right now.

i am still laughing.

i just returned from changing my shirt and i laughed a little in the dressing room.

your ideas and your practices are remarkably old school. pre-historicly old school. you want me to agree with your theory that the current president needs to stay in office because voting him out would give the terrorists the idea that they’ve “won” and because voting kerry in would be dangerous to the future of america.

because in your opinion the silver and bronze starred vietnam vet is somehow soft on evil.

in many respects i am more liberal than senator kerry.

i believe that marijuana should be legalized and those in jail for most drug related crimes should be released from prison.

i believe that AIDS research monies should be tripled, that junior colleges should be free, and that health care should be socialized like your mama is.

come over tonight with the intention to do me physical harm and you will see how soft i am regarding evil.

and i didnt volunteer for nam.

i dont know you, i dont really want to know you, but i will meet you tonight for five minutes and you can either apologize and skateboard back to your studio in the valley or you can walk home penniless and barefoot.

or while i am gone you can write me an apology which will conclude with i will never threaten any human being again, i was wrong.

here comes your man,

tony pierce

kerry bush timeline

today greg maddux got his 15th win of the season.

the professor has racked up at least 15 wins a remarkable 17 years in row.

if i ever did get a job blogging for a corporate web site i would turn the busblog into a sports blog. sorry ladies, and euros.

maddux gave the cubs six strong innings, giving up only six hits and three runs, all earned while striking out six in pittsburgh.

after being replaced by kyle farnsworth, maddux left the game with a total of 201 2/3 innings-pitched for the season thus far.

this is the 16th time in 17 years that the veteran righthander has pitched at least 200 innings. in 2002 he missed this milestone by 2/3s of an inning.

more than just a milestone, if maddux had failed to pitch a total of 400 innings this season and next, the cubs had an option to void his $9 million 2006 contract.

maddux helped his own cause by driving in two runners in the top of the second, capping off a cub four-run inning, which was all they needed as they won 6-3 keeping them tied with the SF Giants for the wild card slot in the national league with ten games to play.

the cubs and the giants have identical records (86-66) but the Giants have a much tougher schedule ahead. tonight they face off against Houston at the formerly-named enron field.

as the next few games go down, dont be suprised if it is the dodgers and not the giants who the cubs will be fighting with for that wild card spot, as LA (86-65) are fading like a cheap pair of jeans in hot water.

the dodgers take on the padres tonight in san diego.

nomar garciapara got his second hit in just as many games since returning from injury earlier this week.

bealle + in search for utopia + anti ups the ante for sure

star wars: battlefronts

lucas arts

playstation 2, xbox, pc

george lucas has done it again. proving that it’s impossible to oversaturate the star wars brand Battlefronts hit the market this week to wide critical acclaim, deservedly so.

not only do you get to either be the good guys or the bad guys (who doesn’t ever get the urge to pick off a few ewoks after a hard day at work?) but you get to do it in the snow, on the sand or in space.

its wonderful.

because it’s so good i will now tell george lucas how he can make another best seller.

in battlefronts 2 the imperial empire needs to invade earth and the jedis need to come down to protect us. what this means for the game is that you can have Exactly the same game as you have now, except instead of the snowy tundra as seen in the empire strikes back, i want to see blasting each other on the main streets of middle america as the puny humans run away in fear, milk trucks turned over burning on fire, wal*marts used as alliance headquarters, etc.

instead of sabre fighting on an industrial bridge in the death star, have them duel on the steps of the capital building.

i want battles in strip malls, i want rumbles in the bronx, i want to see dead storm troopers floating in the fountains of caesars palace.

i want there to be a subplot where jedis discover that there are earthling jedi knights who never knew they had the force. i want them to look like uma thurman from kill bill who trade in their japanese swords for sabres.

and like grand theft auto, i want to see roving gangs of wookies carjacking commuters on the 405 and convoying to venice beach for the ultimate battle of the galaxy as that crazy skateboard guy with the turban plays ramones covers and homeless guys ask for spare change.

battlefronts 3: europe invasion, with the At-At walkers marching down the champs-elysees. x-wings vs stealth fighters.

battlefronts 4: compton crips vs the clones. black versus white like in the original film from ’77. get to be ice cube or eazy-e as they take on the empire with ak-47s and molitif cocktails. bonus rounds include breakdancing competitions.

battlefronts 5: springfield surrenders. the rebel alliance needs to first find springfield and then save them after the dark side takes over the home of the simpsons because of their nuclear capabilities. d’oh!

masslive + sk smith + pink cookies

jon stewart went on The Factor on friday

here is most of meeting, accompanied by photos of paris hilton, and a running busblog score.

O’REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I’m Bill O’Reilly. In the “Personal Story” segment tonight, he is the darling of the television critics, the host of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central, and now has a book called “America: A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction” — ‘inaction,’ one word. Welcome, Jon Stewart, to the no spin zone, everyone.

JON STEWART, “THE DAILY SHOW”: How are you, sir?

O’REILLY: OK. You know what’s really frightening?


O’REILLY: You know what’s really frightening?

STEWART: You’ve been reading my diary.

O’REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary.

STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening.

O’REILLY: But it is. It’s true. I mean, you’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote.


O’REILLY: You can’t stop them.

STEWART: Yeah, I just don’t know how motivated they would be, these stoned slackers.

O’REILLY: Yeah, it just depends if they have to go out that day.

O:1 S:0

STEWART: What am I, a Cheech and Chong movie? Stoned slackers?

O’REILLY: Come on, you do the research, you know the research on your program.

STEWART: No, we don’t.

O’REILLY: Eighty-seven percent are intoxicated when they watch it. You didn’t see that?

STEWART: No, I didn’t realize that.

O’REILLY: Yeah, we have that there.

STEWART: We come on right after, I believe, puppets that make crank calls…


STEWART: … so we are, I think, the appropriate follow up…

O’REILLY: Yeah, and that’s a great lead-in for you.

STEWART: It’s a wonderful show, by the way.

O’REILLY: Puppets can’t vote, but these dopey kids who watch you can.

STEWART: They actually can — in Florida, they can.

O’REILLY: Puppets can vote in Florida.

STEWART: As long as they vote Republican.

O:1 S:1

O’REILLY: And they haven’t committed a felony.

STEWART: And they haven’t committed a felony, that’s exactly right.

O:2 S:1

O’REILLY: But you do have some influence. Now, how do you see that? You have influence. John Kerry bypassed me and went right over to you. You’re only four blocks away. He said, “O’Reilly, I don’t think so. Stewart, I’m going to go talk to you.”

STEWART: Well, I have to tell you — and again, I mean no disrespect, but the snack selection backstage, quite frankly…

O’REILLY: Yeah, it’s…


STEWART: You know, I don’t want to shake Guantanamo Bay, but it’s a little sparer back there.

O’REILLY: It’s close, it’s close. We want people to be hungry when they come out.

STEWART: I think that’s wise. We have, what I like to call, snack- size Three Musketeers, some Snickers, some Milky Ways. If I were a presidential candidate and I had to choose, I think a place that had an energy pick-me-up might be the place I would go.

O:2 S:2

O’REILLY: Do you think that Kerry does himself any good talking to you? Because I think most of your audience is going to vote for him anyway, aren’t they?

STEWART: If I thought…

O’REILLY: The stoned slackers.

STEWART: If I thought honestly that their strategy hinged upon his coming and talking to me, I would suggest that they were in some deep trouble. I don’t know. I feel like, you know, we don’t have an agenda of influence. If we have influence, it is peripheral. And I don’t imagine that people who watch the show are watching it to make up their minds in terms of who they think would best prosecute the war on terror. I think they watch to see who would maybe have the best jokes on the war on terror.

O:2 S:3

O’REILLY: No, here’s what I think. I’ve been on the show a couple of times. I mean, you obviously make fun of everybody. You know, I’m making fun of your show now. But you get everybody.

STEWART: We are, in fact, crass and immature.

O’REILLY: But you are a show that your target audience is younger, left leaning, so you have to play to the choir sometimes.

STEWART: But the real estate is younger, just because it’s Comedy Central.

O’REILLY: And it’s at 11 o’clock at night.

STEWART: I don’t know if it’s left leaning. I mean, would you suggest that — you know that blue collar TV show that does all the — like Foxworthy and all that? You’d consider that a red state show — you know, Foxworthy and — (UNINTELLIGIBLE)…

O’REILLY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

STEWART: OK. They’re our lead-in on Monday nights, and there’s really no difference between…

O:2 S:4

O’REILLY: But even so, younger people tend to be a little bit more, you know…

STEWART: When you say younger, are you talking 9, 10? What are you talking here?

O’REILLY: No, I’m talking 18 to 25, you know. The people who are on your intellectual level.

STEWART: Thank you

O’REILLY: You ask some serious questions too.

STEWART: Very rarely. Every now and again.

O:2 S:5

O’REILLY: Well, you asked me why I was such a bad person, didn’t you, or something like that? Wasn’t that a serious question?

STEWART: Did I ask you why you were a bad person?

O’REILLY: Yeah, I think so.

STEWART: No, I wouldn’t have done that.

O’REILLY: … “scum of the earth, O’Reilly,” I think that’s the way you put it.

STEWART: No, I wouldn’t have put it that way. I think it would have been, why do you have such je ne sai qua?

O’REILLY: Yeah, some French. We’re boycotting France, so I couldn’t answer…

STEWART: By the way, I couldn’t agree with you more about the French thing. They are such an important country, and I think really deserve a boycott.

O’REILLY: Yeah, they do.

STEWART: Because of the influence they wield in the world.

O:2 S:7 (bonus point for going over o’reilly’s head)

STEWART: Do you really believe France is, in any way, worthy of a boycott?

O’REILLY: I do. I think France has really hurt the USA, to be…

STEWART: Really?

O’REILLY: Yes, I do.

STEWART: More than like Saudi Arabia? You would advocate a boycott…

O’REILLY: No, I’m not going to say more than Saudi Arabia. But I’m saying we do a lot…

STEWART: So why not boycott them?

O’REILLY: France is supposed to be our friend. Saudi Arabia is…

STEWART: Since when?


STEWART: Since the revolution they haven’t been our friend.

O:2 S:8

O’REILLY: OK, when you get a guy like Kerry on…


O’REILLY: … and again, he bypassed me, so I took it personally, he went over to talk to you…

STEWART: But you and I are not competitors, let’s be frank about it.

O’REILLY: Well, we’re on our second rerun on THE FACTOR — is now at 11 o’clock.

STEWART: I don’t mean in terms of — we’re not competitors in terms of content. You’re a news show, and we are a comedy show.

O’REILLY: That’s true. But what do you want the audience to get out of your discussion with Kerry? Just yucks, or anything else?

STEWART: First of all, I shall rarely refer to it as yucks, and I think you should reconsider.

O’REILLY: OK, I’m sorry about that arcane term.

STEWART: “Shnicks,” we call it shnicks — shnicks and giggles.

O:2 S:9 game point

O’REILLY: What do you think Kerry wants to get out of coming on your show?

STEWART: He wants to get what any politician does: access to a new constituency. He wants to get…

O’REILLY: The stoned slackers.

STEWART: … that’s exactly right, because the stoned slackers, this election is going to rely on the undecided. Who is more undecided than…

O’REILLY: Than the stoned slacker, right.

STEWART: … the people who are high. Right now, they’re thinking to themselves, ice cream or pretzels, ice cream or pretzels.

0:2 S:10 stewart wins

bonus round:

O’REILLY: Don’t you think that these guys want to be hip, when McCain was on with you — Bush hasn’t been on with you, right? You would remember that…

STEWART: George Bush?


STEWART: I don’t recall the president stopping by the program.

O’REILLY: But McCain’s been on.


O’REILLY: OK. Kerry’s been on, as we mentioned.


O’REILLY: I’ve been on. So you’ve had the three most powerful people beside him on.

STEWART: That’s probably right.

O’REILLY: What do you think Kerry wanted to get out of it?

STEWART: A hug — just a sweet hug. I’m sure what he wants out of it is, again, that access — it’s the same thing that Budweiser wants out of it. It’s the same thing that Dell computers…


STEWART: No, it’s access to this market that may be untapped, an untapped potential, a reserve, an ANWAR, if you will. He wants to drill in an area that has previously been un-drilled. And don’t make a dirty remark about that, because I see it coming.

O’REILLY: All right, your book is…

STEWART: But what do you think he wants out of it?

O’REILLY: I think he wants to be hip. I do. I think going on your show is a cache, and he’s considered the hipper candidate than the square.

STEWART: So you think he’s not looking for votes. This is middle- aged crisis?


STEWART: This is a mid-life crisis…

O’REILLY: No, he just wants to get that tag…

STEWART: … buying a Corvette.

transcript via wonkette + jon stewart’s new book is called America (the book) + paris hilton also has a book

shannon and justins wedding


cambria, ca

at the crossroads of rock in hollywood stand shannon and justin who were married two weeks ago on the beach of cambria, north of santa barbara, where citizen kane once lived and where love will never die.

in the wake of hair metal, years after grunge, weezer and tsar rule the school on the sunset strip; one nationally, one locally.

tsar are the homegrown underdogs, wildly creative, sensual and mighty. fearful of nothing, ready and willing to plant the flag of a new generation, a calling from another time, married to no mistress.

while weezer are the godfathers of emo, transplants from the east coast, poets posed as popsters, nerds disguised as nerds.

everyone knows that the seventh weezer is justin. best friend to everyone. bassist of nerf herder, main main in psoma, and left winger of the weezer soccer team.

justin met shannon in a dream come true. they lived together in the amherst house. the most famous alt rock home on the west side of la. the place where the blue album was created. the garage of “in the garage” was once justin and shannons room.

shannons first boyfriend ever was the blogospheres own matt welch, original bassist of tsar, guitar and vocalist of many of the santa barbara mafia bands, best friend of all, provider to emmanuelle.

so when justin and shannon got hitched this month there was parry from nerf herder, there was solomon from tsar, and welch of course, and matt sharp, and rivers and kate sullivan the rock blogger and rabbit from rabbit blog, and paolo and bonnie and charlie and barney and ken and basart and heather and laura and coulter, and os, and etc.

and whenever the corvids are playing your wedding youre doing real good.

and my lawyer (pictured, above, lookin hot) asked tony, why werent you there, didnt you want to camp out with us, sleep on the beach and wake up and celebrate? i said no, that date is a freaky one for me and even though i love all the people who were there and even though justin competes with solomon and ben in the nicest guy in the world contest and even though shannon and nicolette helped hire karisa into the dot com we all worked at, that day in september, my grandmothers birthday, and what should be a national holiday, was pretty much the only day i couldnt get into celebrating.

i had to mourn a little.

cuz im dumb.

but after looking through mc browns pictures,

it sure looked fun. + laura’s pics + laynes pics + bonnies pics + barney‘s huge pics