dear deborah

jamie told me that yes indeed i insulted you when i said in his comments that i didnt recognize you with clothes on and im very sorry that that joke fell flat. im an idiot. ask anyone.

when i met you the other day at my booksigning/drinking contest i was blown away by how hot you are and how nice you were to me.

i dont know how much you know about me, but ive lived a very charmed life. like jamie, i have had the pleasure of knowning pretty much the hottest ladies of the world. you easilly rank in the top 5.

walking around new york these last few days ive been shocked at the wide spectrum of beauty in this town but you clearly have it going on and im so sorry that my little joke hurt your feelings.

to be honest i havent seen many of your pictures that jamie has taken of you because he posted them on flickr, and i work for flickrs competition buzznet, and most of the pics that he took of you that werent on fickr were nudes. so when you had clothes on i was all holy crap who brought in miss new york instead of thinking, holy crap its debroah!

ive also killed a shitton of braincells over the years so my memory isnt very good, and my memory of other peoples girlfriends is even worse, so again i apologize and i dedicate this post to you,

for who you are beneath your dazzling good looks,

and for what good things the future will bring you.

deborah today i went to 5th avenue and met with my book agent and she bought me lunch, which i understand is how the publishing world works.

we were both running a little late and left each other messages on our cell phones and it was all so very adult and you have now met me so you know im not really an adult.

which is why i ordered green eggs and ham.

actually it was her suggestion and typically im all, sure why not, no matter what the offer is.

so we ate we talked and out of it came a great book idea even though the meeting was to talk about two other books. because im an idiot i have resisted this whole process. like jamie, i like publishing my own shit and selling it to my readers. i also dont like splitting the pie up in too many ways. not because im interested in being rich, i just only like to pay people if they actually perform a service.

anyways my agent set me straight and told me that some people might not go to my web site and read me and get me and then go buy a book, but they might pick one up if its right there at the book store, and the point is to let these stories free, and once theyre free to get read they will get read.

we also talked about queen with the dude from bad company singing.

and since she also publishes sci fi and sex books we talked about those things too.

it was all very exciting.

debroah when i think of your name i think of the beck song. do you like that song? i listen to it almost every day and now that i have seen your pictures on flickr i am so very sorry that i have caused you pain because you were very sweet to me when we met and it kills me to think that i came to the big apple and i was destructive in any way. all i want to do on this very short ride is make people happy. so it hurts me to know that i made you sad, even for an instant.

you have a very good man in jamie and i hope he has gone through my archives and shown you what an idiot i can be and how sometimes my jokes arent very good so that you can see that indeed i was just trying to be funny and i failed.

if theres anything i can do to patch this all up i will.

even though the new book is going to be about bloggers, i will name it deborah if it put that smile back on your face.

west coast love to the east coast ladies who have been nothing but spectacular to me,


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