oh if i lived in canada id be oh so happy.

id have friends everywhere, id be drunk constantly, and id be married to twin sisters, pictured.

ive been to vancouver three times and toronto twice. half of those times i drove there.

id say probably half of the readers of the busblog are canadian, but id like to find out.

if you are canadian, leave the town youre from in the comments. also tell me what you think of Strange Brew. i dont know what it is but i loved that movie and yet so many canadians that i meet havent even seen it.

how can this be?

anyways happy thanksgiving canada and thank you for everything!

youre fucked.

next season will be the 100th anniversary of the last time the cubs won the world series.

pressure much?

if i was the cubs GM i would go to all the good free agents this winter and id offer the best ones $3 million, one-year contracts. id say, this year you could get $10-$15 somewhere else for multi years, or you could just do one year with the Cubs

the year we will win it all.

because of you.

and fans for once wouldnt be able to bitch at players for only doing it for the money and fans for once would have a team of players who seriously Just wanted to win, and fans for once would root for a team every day.

rich hill isnt bad, hes just young. same with marmol. those guys will be better next year. as will kerry wood, and mark prior might even be back they say. and lilly and that other guy.

but if they go for the one year contract scam we could fill in those gaps. and win one for the old people who are about to die.

sometimes a pretty girl will come over at night to tell me a little story. every night before that happens i take a shower. but because im excited i will usually burn a cd to listen and sing along with in the shower.

i also like to turn off my laptop because it means its the end of the day.

however i always have all these open windows. im gonna try to link them from now on.

+ 11 Things Libra by Timmmay
+ Houston woman turns in a bag filled with $65,000 in cash
+ when raymi and fil get married im gonna get them this cake
+ the New Hampshire tax evaders were invaded by undercover agents
+ kid paparazzi – soon on LAist?
+ holidaynevertouchedtheplate.com
+ todays detour festival set list and lineup
+ anna kournikova is skinnier than ever
+ Lindsay Lohan should go to UCSB
+ AP Buries the lede – their headline is McDonalds Strip Search Victim – when infact she had to give a guy head.
+ Ocean makes whale carcas move to Malibu
+ Maybe Bob Barker is an asshole?
+ Bobby Solomon got the quote of the day

but this little tale that they told on Deadspin today gave him some points on my scorecard having fun with the kids in the stands by revealing that his fantasy team is called The Taints, etc

The entire bleacher section cracked up. What was really funny was what came next, when Christine (the lady in the picture) asked Dempster for the ball he was long tossing with. After she first asked, his response was something along the lines of “what am I going to long toss with if I give you this ball?” After Christine pleaded for the ball again (in that semi-annoying way only girls can pull off), Dempster responded back “I’ll give you the ball if you take your top off.” By now the entire bleacher section was rolling over itself, a few beers deep and chanting “Take it off” in support of Dempster’s response. Christine, now embarrassed said that her boyfriend was her and that he wouldn’t like that, or something to that effect. Dempster, in an act of kindness and to stop the crowd from chanting at this poor girl to take off her clothes, then gave Christine the ball and went about his warming up business.

the entire tale is here and its good

including one of the commentors who says, “Yet another situation in which Ryan Demspter failed to close the deal.”

go cubbies

i made fun of santa monica in a story called ficus? ficyou! + i helped van halen sellout + im going to this tomorrow

it was both shocking and stunning to be convinced that i was slightly incorrect about a detail of some importance.

i also learned that just because i think the things i say have zero impact zero punch or zero resonance

sometimes even a slow ball can fall in there for strike three

the other day when i was possessed by the devil i wrote some very mean things

tip of the iceberg devil writings and only because i saw most of the iceberg did i think that it wasnt so frightening and yet alas i was mistaken.

im a terrible man. im going to hell. theyre gonna make me write on the paper down thur since im clearly in tune to the drumbeat of hate anger and all things evil.

last night i did laundry in the wee hours in hollywood at the lucys 24 hour. they have a 24 hour subway sandwhich place in there so you put your loads in then get a sandwhich and when youre done the clothes are ready to go in the drier and you put em in there and then you go and treat yourself to a candy bar at the gas station followed by a fillup and a car wash.

the wacky people in the lucys at 2am are better than any television show. and you are out there with them as theyre arguing and recovering and hiding and scamming and you say if you were a millionare these are the people youd never run into. and if you did at this hour youd be scared.

people are never washing the things that i am.

this fat guy was on his cell phone gleefully talking about a man with a small penis and a seperate woman with a tiny vagina. are his friends that close that they discusss these things? the tvs blast spanish stations. the arcade games simulate war sounds. and none of the machines look or sound alike.

this little girl walked up to me as her mom folded towels and said whose your favorite movie star. and because she asked it so honestly i answered back just as honestly, wc fields. and her mother called her over in spanish.

– raymi the minx, bitches

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“That’s How People Grow Up”

I was wasting my time
Trying to fall in love
Disappointment came to me and
Booted me and bruised and hurt me

But that’s how people grow up
That’s how people grow up

I was wasting my time
Looking for love
Someone must look at me and
See their sunlit dream

I was wasting my time
Praying for love
For a love that never comes
From someone who does not exist

And that’s how people grow up
That’s how people grow up

Let me live
Before I die
No not me
Not I

I was wasting my life
Always thinking about myself
Someone on their deathbed said
There are other sorrows too

I was driving my car
I crashed and broke my spine
So yes there are things worse in life than
Never being someone’s sweetie

That’s how people grow up
That’s how people grow up

That’s how people grow up
That’s how people grow up

As for me I’m okay
For now anyway

the part of me thats a scorpio. and i know that since i was born on the cusp i am part scorpio but who are we kidding, unless you fuck me over and you force me to weild my hidden tail of hate, for the most part im a libra and i love the world and all i want is love peace and chicken grease which is why these playoffs are killing me.

all drama kills me. ironic i know when you consider who my undercover employer is but being in the xbi is a great way to avoid drama in your real life because that world is so unreal that you cant take it personally when someone tries to shoot you. you deserve it there.

heres how much i hate drama. i used to date the cutest girl youve ever seen. she would do all the things i loved. shed dress up in outfits, she was affectionate, she was smart, she could put her hair in any style and assume that role all night. loved it.

but her life was filled with so much drama that i had to tap out almost immediately. even if i didnt work for the xbi, wouldnt life throw us enough curveballs as it was? did i really need to have that creep into my sanctuary? my hidden lair?

home is where you go to lick your wounds after the M-F battle. its not where you have to strap in for emotional thrill rides. just put on that crazy wig and dance around the coffee table ho and stop fucking crying!

likewise baseball is supposed to be a casual event that you do in the summertime with your friends and maybe you pay enough attention to figure out of the ump has a tight zone or a loose one that day but thats about it.

to have the cubs in the playoffs. and having to face the likes of brandon webb. thats just too much emotion for me to deal with. and i have enough problems.

a true libra likes peace love freedom. thats it. i have a gigantic tv. soon i will get a bigger one. thats where the drama goes. i love gangsta rap. thats where more drama goes.

all i want in my life is for the girls to keep sending me dirty pictures in my email, and for the cubs to start winning games a million to nothing.

thats all.

i promise i will never be bored.

doesnt mean im a communist”

whats funny about that line is – billy bragg is a commie. aint he?

if theres one thing that i agree with matt good about its billy bragg

and so when i went to the myspace of Roxie Rocket, drummer of the all babe rock group Rocket, and heard this song i was all this sounds very familiar.

and lo it was Rancid guitarist Lars covering Billy Bragg.

a sign that things will be good tonight?

please Lord. please.