got all these bukowski books off ebay. four “new” ones. as in they werent published when he was alive and could call bullshit on em. fucker wrote his ass off because lots of these poems are good.

before i told you what i learned from reading some of his post humorous work while taking a dump i will tell you one of my favorite ebay search terms. why? because the only guarantee in life is death.

“bukowski lot“

for some reason people are lazy. and when they are lazy on ebay they feel the urge to sell off a “lot” of shit. so if you put “bukowski lot” or “vonnegut lot” or “twain lot” you might find yourself getting quite a bargain because most people dont really want 4-10 books all at once.

anyways because all the bad bukowski movies have come and gone all the fakers who pretended to like bro have also come and gone, meaning that when “The People Look Like Flowers at Last”, “Come On In”, “Slouching Toward Nirvana”, and “Pleasures Of The Damned” were sold as a lot on ebay with a Buy it Now of $30, of course I would take it cuz who wouldnt buy ANY bukowski book in new condition for $8.50 each including shipping? duh.

reading buks poems reminded me that writers write. and then they die. they live, they drink, they fuck, they write it all down, then they die. everyone dies. no one has figured out how to play Defender off one quarter forever. theres always a Game Over.

therefore you really should do all the drinking fucking living and writing that you can. you really shouldnt let anything distract you from your goals of life. and the best way to reach those goals is to write them down. hide em on a secret blog if you want. print em out and post them next to your outhouse mirror if you want but every day you should look at them.

manager of the cubs

director of fine films

writer of sweet ass blog posts

destroyer of evil thoughts

successful jumper of the snake river

dunkmaster general

chef of boyardi

whatever your goals are writem down. whatever your dreams are. whatever your hopes are. whatever your needs are. whatever your whatevers are. it all starts with a start. it all starts with spark.

maybe the spark for your life is knowing for the first time as in fer real that one day there wont be a spark in your life. that one day you will die just like everyone who ever lived and all that will be left will be whatever you left.

and what i have to give to the living are these blog posts

and photos which were given to me by the rest of you.

all of whom will be dead too one day

just like bukowski

and just like the burrito i just ate and shat out.

amen.

throw out the first pitch yesterday at Wrigley?

why yes i did! thank you TiVo. and thank you WGN and whoever put this up on the interwebs cuz now we can all enjoy it over and over again.

mostly because not only was it a great throw, but girlfriend did it in heels.

is there anything marisa cant do?

zona wants to know: comin’ to Van this summer?

it all depends on my job. i work for the greatest boss ever. i have the most ideal job of all. and one of the best parts about it is that they could just as easily say one day “we need you to go to iraq to help our bloggers there” as they could say “we need you to speak at this panel in vancity, and then kiss some girls”. this summer i really wanted to go to chicago to see the cubs and nyc to see a game at the house that ruth built before it gets demolished, but i always have love for bc so you never know.

Michael (aka Azreal Darkskies) axes: What’s your favourite marijuana delivery device?

from the lips of a canadian woman at a concert after she taps me on the shoulder. but since i havent touched the stuff in quite a while id have to say – vicariously through others.

Suzie asks: What are you going to do when my sweet ass arrives on your door step???? 😛

probably be shocked because i thought the deal was i was supposed to pick you up at the airport!

the lovely panajane cuts right to the chase with: Boxers or briefs? Hoodies or sweaters? The Velvet Underground or Iggy Pop and the Stooges? Dogs or cats? Cowboy or reverse cowboy?

the first of all except the last.

an original member of the E Street Band. he died yesterday at 58. Federici and original E Street drummer, Vini Lopez invited Bruce Springsteen to join their band.

curtis asks, Did you see that study which found that newspaper blogs failed to increase public dialogue? What are your thoughts? Do you think newspapers are wasting their time creating blogs?

no i hadnt seen the study, which was conducted in 2006, but now that i have, i think that journalism professors are wasting their time creating studies to diss blogging. particularly in regard to newspaper blogs.

2006 wasnt the greatest year for newspaper blogs, so the study is flawed right there. whats also wrong is trying to pretend like the number of comments on a post means anything in regard to anything. but thats the kind of thinking that you get when you have journalism profs trying to measure how good a blog post is.

last week we at the Times had a post that got over 2,000 comments. yesterday we had one that got over 500 in less than 12 hours. the kareem abdul-jabbar blog is close to 1000 comments despite only being around for a little more than 7 weeks. meanwhile our Lakers blog gets thousands of comments a week.

does that mean that we should “give up” on our health blog, our metro blog, or our education blogs just because they dont get as many comments? thats like saying that the best way to judge if your bf loves you is by how many bouquets of flowers he sends you, or the best way to judge your gf is by how many times she waltzes around the house in lingerie.

some topics are just easier to get comments, and some topics will never get comments. that doesnt mean that the process of blogging in those verticals is flawed. whats flawed are the judgments based on shit that doesnt matter.

what ive noticed on the busblog is a good, solid post usually gets less comments than an outrageous one. an outrageous Wrong or slightly off-kilter post will get just as many comments as one that is right on the money. but meanwhile your bread-and-butter post that is fair, accurate, and interesting will get far less comments. does that mean that you should only post the outrageousness? of course not.

those profs should leave the blogging analysis to the pros and go back to teaching kids about the inverted triangle.

Grace wonders, “Who do you think is going to win the Stanley Cup? Why?

Can you refer me to an awesome female blog that doesn’t post pictures of themselves with every post?”

Just like my women, I like the Canadians.

As for awesome female blogs that dont post pics of themselves constantly, there are many that I go to every day: xTx, zulekia, and flagrant. i would also say The Pants but she hardly ever writes any more. i also really like sarah of the delicious life who does a really beautiful food blog. and even though its not really about her, Christie St. Hottie does a killer job of telling everyone whats on the web at latimes.com/lulz

barney ponders: Nobel, Pulitzer, or Oscar—pick one.

Oscars are for fakers, Nobel isnt even american, so i would accept the Pulitzer. but only if they give me one for blog editing. and only if i could get a copy of the award to send to the Daily Nexus, which has no J school, no J classes, no adult supervision, and hopefully it will always remain that way

which means ask tony a question

so you, yes you, ask a question in the comments below

whatever youve got. whatevers been naggin at you. whatever youve Really wanted to know

go!

there are nice people, mean people, sweet people, losers, there are creative people, thieves, lovers, and haters.

its a lot like the ocean. lots of different type of life. not all of it is beautiful. tons of similar types swimming along together and every now and then you’ll see something super ugly with big teeth hiding in the shadows waiting to lurch out and destroy something beautiful and shiny.

just like the ocean, most of the time the most evil animals are also the dumbest. the sharks are usually half blind, rarely courageous, seldom creative. they just swim around eating and shitting and fucking.

our pal keira-anne recently discovered that her loveliness had attracted someone who wanted to take a bite out of her. in fact this cowardly fish took it upon themselves to create a blog simply to talk shit about her.

typical. in fact if you cruise the blogosphere a little, you’ll see your fair share of hater blogs. they all have similar traits and rarely do they add anything to the conversation. they whine, they drone, and in this case it sits out there anonymously and tries to make keira feel bad… for being keira.

im no psychologist but typically when i encounter blog hatin’ and trolls, i usually take it as people who feel horrible about their own lives and desperately want attention. because they have little creativity and zero self-esteem they use their little computers to try to get in the way of someone minding their own business.

its juvenile and sad, pathetic, and unfortunately, unavoidable.

my best advice to people who experience the annoying trolls in their lives is to ignore them. what they want is attention, therefore the worst thing you can do to them is ignore them.

but because keira is such a sweet angel she chose to acknowledge the person sorta to prove that it aint no thing. which it aint.

we’ll see if that technique works. but usually in the blogosphere, ive noticed that when there is zero traffic the attention whores starve and shrivel up.

blogging should be about writing about things youre passionate about and sharing elements of your life that are interesting. keira is a wonderful blogger who takes us places that are beautiful and sweet. she and duane and miss 604 and the other bc bloggers have created a community that has taught me a lot of the vancity lifestyle which i was lucky enough to experience first hand.

maybe the hater is jealous by their world. maybe the hater wishes they had the guts to approach keira like a normal person. the sad thing is, there are very few people who i have met who are nicer than keira-anne which is why its so retardulous to come at her at any other way than with kindness.

but such is the blogosphere. sometimes.

instead of linking to the hater, how about revisiting the time the busblog interviewed keira-anne.

yesterday in north carolina barack obama was summarizing the latest debate when he appeared to scratch an itch in a very unusual way

– in a way that looked like he was flipping his opponent the bird.

was this a seinfeld moment? was he doing it coyishly?
is that even a word?

was this a johnny cash moment?

in disguise?

or was bro just trying to be more presidential?

my bro andy malcolm from top of the ticket asked some of these questions and instead of just answering him like normal people most of them flew off the handle (defensively, if you ask me), questioning andy’s journalistic chops for having the omg nerve to ask such a question of their candidate.

but some said – yes he flipped her off and it was awesome and i love him more because he flipped her off.

me, i dont know one person who itches their face with their middle finger.

and i know lots of people.

either way i think it was awesome.

update: this issue has seemed to have spread around the blogosphere

uk update: it appears as our friends across the pond have a finger-gate of their own

You don’t talk about him much any more. Does that mean his blog isn’t taking off?

Au contraire mon (probable) Celtics fan friend.

Kareem has slowly worked his way up the charts and as for April he is one of our Top 10 blogs at the Times.

he’s consistantly in the top 5 of our blogs in regards to comments, and recently you might have seen him mentioned and linked on Gawker, TMZ, NBA.com, and USA Today

recently he interviewed Carole King on his blog, and called the latest Dr. Suess movie racist.

oh and you might have seen him on the latest iPhone commercial:

yesterday was Kareem’s 61st birthday. if you wanna wish him a happy bday, its not too late.

and thanks for asking, im always happy to talk about all of our bloggers!

she and i had a deal that she would blog every day and not just that but she would say something Positive every day on her blog for a week.

it was an exercise in positive thinking. of positive doing. of positivity. it was an attempt at kickstarting what should be a beautiful life.

truth of the matter is danielle k does have a beautiful life – shes about to get a masters, shes the hottest babe in san dieger, she has a killer car, she has a beautiful wardrobe, and she is healthy and funny and pretty awesome. and i believe she has two bicycles if not three. with baskets and little bells.

but what she wants is a man. for some reason she hasnt had the easiest time finding a real man who isnt a dope and who isnt homeless and who will actually call her back after a hot date.

doesnt seem all that hard but sometimes the Lord gives us challenges. personally i think the Lord wants her to write her story down in a blawg so that when prince charming shows up and sweeps her off her feet she will have half of her story told and then she can start writing the second half and people could go awwww and know what a huge change in her life it all was.

but thats me, i think everyone should blawg. so since danielle k refuses to write, i will write for her. k? ready… go!

dear blawwwwg,

today i tried on four five sun dresses and i looked amazing in all of them. and as i changed clothes i caught myself half naked and damn i looked amazing in that too. so i just lazed around in my garters and matching bra. i saw a butterfly had entered my house somehow looking pretty so i took off my bra and slingshot it at the butterfly cuz only one hot bitch in this apartment and its ME. the butterfly got the hint and scrammed back into the pleasant san dieger clime.

then my phone rang. it was the pro golfer. he asked me if i had seen him at the masters. i was all yes. he said did you see me scratch my nose? i said um. he said, but danielle, i told you that when i scratch my nose it means im thinking of you. so i said, bitch if you were thinking of me id have some flowers on my kitchen table right now. and i hung up. seconds later there was a knock at the door and it was the florist and whoops.

then i picked up my favorite book, how to blog by my friend tony pierce. little does he know it but as soon as the summer starts im going to translate it in french because, have you noticed, there are hardly any really great french bloggers. thats gotta change.

later i rode my cute little bike to the market and this guy who swore he played shortstop for the padres asked me if he could take me to the game. i was all hmmm youre cute, whats your name? he said khalil. this guy looked exactly like a surfer. i said, khalil is a black mans name you big liar. and he was all but but. and i was all, later liar. and i got home, flipped on my cable tv and holy shit there was surfer boy playing short for the pads.

good thing he slipped his number into my canvas sack.

time to lay out!

xoxoxo
danielle