dear tony, what’s wrong with me

the broadDear My Favourite Blogger,

SOme times I feel so weird. And not in an art school cool way. But worse. Not in ascary way so don’t worry Tony. But I don’t feel of this Earth,

Can you relate?

dear unrelatable,

sometimes in the morning my computer hesitates and pauses. it needs time to think before it lets me do the things i want to do.

sometimes the stupid rainbow wheel appears over and over.

theres two things you can do about it, you can get frustrated and waste time and fight with it.

or you can just restart that bad boy.

in life sometimes it’s good to restart. not kill yourself, psycho, but either break up with your boyfriend, get a hair cut, take a shower, or do like what i do, which is either take a nap or walk around the block.

when i walk around the block i put my head down and remind myself of a lot of the good things that happened in my life that led me here. if something bad enters my head i stop walking and let it pass, then i get on with the good things and keep walking.

at first it might take a while to get around the block with all the stopping going on, but over time you learn how to train your mind to block out all the things the devil wants to invade your brain with and you can have a peaceful walk that includes

the time angela romano gave you your first kiss, the time you won best in state in drum line, the time you met your friends at the dorms, the time two smoking hot babes took you into the desert, the time you escaped the clutches of the xbi and did donuts on the frozen lake, the time you got that huge newspaper’s blogs zooming just like you promised, the time you made bruce willis laugh and keep laughing

and that time you realized the busblog would live forever.

after walks like that you realize there are so many more things you could add to the list and you feel better and you almost wanna walk around the block again but guess what your computer in your heart has restarted

and its time to rock.

good luck weirdo.

and thanks for the nudes.

sometimes you’ll drive for about five minutes

bearand you get to their block, and then to their driveway

and they’ll wave you in.

and they’ll look at you and then walk into their house

all three of them

and you’ll sit there for a few minutes listening to tom petty

and you’ll think to yourself, what?

you were right here.

i was right here.

i AM right here.

and you guys went the total opposite way.

so after another minute i texted them

i said, hi this is uber, im only required to wait five minutes

and we are four minutes in…

and boom they pop out

and we get going and grandma is sitting next to me and the nine year old is in the back and mom is next to him and young aunt is there. and they say they need another car for the rest of the family

then they tell me this is their first time in america

and theyre going to disneyland tomorrow and then joshua tree

and i think to myself, you are such a terrible person. why cant you be patient? why do you always have to be this way? why cant you just chill you chill in traffic you chill under fire you chill under the most stressful situations

why cant you just sit in the driveway of life and listen to tom petty

and wait your damn turn