Rizzo is batting like 240 and does not care one bit
about anything
the cubs are the most chill flaming hot team in baseball
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Monthly Archives: June 2016
ive lived in hollywood for fifteen years and never been to paramount
some of my favorite movies and tv shows were made here like
The Brady Bunch
M*A*S*H*
Taxi
Cheers
Forrest Gump
Family Ties
Happy Days
Mork & Mindy
Sunset Blvd
Psycho
Rear Window
Vertigo
Duck Soup
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Chinatown
The Godfather
Citizen Kane
Grease
Coming to America
Flashdance
The Bad News Bears
Airplane
Beverly Hills Cop
Iron Man
and endless others
and for some reason i’d never been there.
yesterday someone said that we really needed about 30 to 50 Baby Trombones
and someone else said he thought he saw some at Paramount
no one wanted to go because the place is huge, where would you find them,
and how weird would people think you are if you asked them?
so i volunteered as tribute and it was super hot. and bigger than i thought it would be.
there were bikes and golf carts everywhere. but none said busblog on them. so i walked, and walked and walked.
did i mention how hot it was today?
while it was fascinating walking down the “New York Street”, because im a weirdo,
i liked seeing the empty stages better.
they were giant and they were totally barren inside.
my imagine ran wild.
outside each of the stages they had a little plaque listing all of the movies and tv shows that had been filmed in there.
every stage had an impressive plaque. 
i walked past the bungalows with the execs,
i strolled past the writers rooms, editing, costumes, set design
and then i saw it
just sitting there on a loading dock
and just as many as what we were looking for
but i hadnt been there very long so i kept walking around
heres the funny thing
if you live in LA, especially hollywood or the west side, you’re gonna see a celebrity from time to time.
you might even find yourself interacting with them because, you know,
stars, theyre just like us.
i walked around freaking paramount
for maybe two hours
and i didnt see one star.
as far as i know
but heres the funny thing
i turned the corner and there was the kogi truck
and i nearly fainted out of true love.
then i heard gun shots
and i snapped right out of it
but then i saw a sign
so i sat down to chill
it was hot
Tribune changes its name to tronc
as you know i grew up reading the Chicago Tribune
it’s a major reason i wanted to be a writer and go into journalism.
never did i think that i would ever become either of those things, but it happened.
during my time at the Tribune-owned LA Times i had lots of ideas.
most of them were rejected either directly or indirectly by “Chicago” aka Tribune.
little did i know that all i had to say was
yo, you should change the name of the company to tronc.
so the lesson i learned yesterday was
keep being creative, keep pitching ideas, shake off the rejections
one day they’ll say yes
tronc yeah they will
billionaire thinks we are probs characters in an advanced civ’s video game
non billionaire thinks if this was a video game
a) we’d have better cars
b) we’d be boning way more often
c) we’d all be dressing like Prince
d) there’d be more fire
e) far fewer people would be starving and walking to get water
f) dinosaurs would roam hawaii
g) we’d read a lot less
h) hockey and Aussie Rules Football would be more popular
i) intellectuals would be murdered more often
j) Fox would be the #1 tv network
k) Playboy playmates would make up half of Congress
l) Farmers Markets wouldnt exist
m) PBS wouldn’t exist
n) hipsters would make better music
o) we’d have jetpacks
p) weed would have been legal decades ago
q) Coldplay would be in jail
r) 9/11 would happen all the time
s) Russia would have more dominance
t) there would be no pollution in China
u) Bo Jackson would still be playing sports
v) radio would be better
w) MTV would have never gone the way of the Dingo
x) MDMA would be legal
y) more babies would end up in zoos
z) freeways would look a lot cooler
today is my niece Kyla’s birthday, she’s 14
kyla is a gemini.
often shes a sweet angel. but i hear reports that she’s not always that way.
but who can blame her, really, her favorite uncle is far away and she’s in a cold city
and a giant house, with every toy, animal, human, and christmas tree a teenage girl could ever want.
when i was her age i had a tv with three channels and an etch-a-sketch.
we had a rotary phone and an AM radio.
this chick’s got a PS4 AND an XBox One.
she didnt like her brother so they adopted a baby sister for her.
imagine that YOUR OWN BABY!
the pool in the backyard is jacked up to 92 degrees. there are flat screen tvs in every room.
and whenever she wants she can just “log on” to her computer (or phone or tablet or robot screen) and she can read the worlds greatest busblog.
when i was her age i was drawing detailed maps on three ring binder paper so i could stand on a chair and drop a freshly sharpened pencil down upon my little world and see who the “bomb” destroyed.
kyla has snapchat and instagram and minecraft and
“books”
i hope she knows how lucky she has it.
and how lucky we are to have her.
happy birthday kyla jo!
cubs lost yesterday, now theyre only 20 games above 500
what ever will they do?
theyve got this young catcher, 24 years old,
willson contreras
he’s in AAA, iowa. a step away from the big leagues.
he’s ripping the cover off the ball in iowa
bashed two home runs on sunday. we need bats.
but the cubs already have three catchers in the big leagues
david ross who is gonna retire and the end of this year
miguel montero who is a left hand hitting stud
and some bozo they never use.
rational thought would say bring up the young buck and send down the bozo.
but Theo and Joe seem to know what theyre doing, and like i said theyre 20 games above 500
the other problem is Jorge Soler, another 24 year old
Jorge is batting .204 with 5 home runs.
if it was me, i’d send him down and bring that catcher up.
but im just a dude in his pajamas and a bathrobe who couldnt give a damn about advanced sabermetrics
i just think when a guy, especially a young guy, can barely hit above 200
you send his ass down.
but ive never understood anything about anything anywhere
i just spent $60 on Washio to wash one bag of clothes.
all because they gave me a $20 credit
because it was memorial day
and they knew i probably wasnt thinking right.