so many prayers to the bu

When I first moved to LA, I had no friends. After a while I met a punk rockish girl at Santa Monica College who turned me on to poetry, environmental issues and journalism. She was amazing. She lived in Malibu.

We started dating and I would drive all the way out to her place by County Line, just above Zuma. She still lived with her parents, who were so nice to me. They knew it was a long drive back to Inglewood where I lived and they suggested that I spend the night out there more than she did.  Even her brothers were great to me. It was a dream.

I tweeted to her today to tell her that I was thinking good thoughts about her sweet parents. She replied saying thank you, that they had evacuated safely. But she said the house was in the path of the fire and things didn’t look good for it.

Even though the dad was an engineer, his wife and kids were basically hippies. Beautiful, loving, throwbacks. Sometimes you think, oh it’s ok if a house burns down, they’ll get insurance to build a cool modern replacement, but if there was one family who wouldn’t want a modern anything it’s them. They would prefer that their quirky, humble, super-real home remain as is.

And that’s what I’m praying for tonight.

When I saw this Wally Skalij image from the LA Times of what appears to be some emus and a donkey at Zuma today, I thought, yep, that’s so Trancas. Funky, weird, and super chill.

i wrote this two years ago, it’s spooky to read it today

november 7, 2016

Shout out to the journalists, particularly those on the trail who covered this insane race and who found themselves surrounded by ignorance, hate, confederate flags, and bombarded with so many lies every day it must have been tough some days to figure out which flaming bag of poop to step on.

Shout out to the journalists who didn’t make it this far. 56 journalists around the globe were killed this year while doing their jobs.

Most people don’t like public speaking, writing essays, doing research, or calling someone they know won’t talk to them. Journalists do all of that every day, on deadline, for far less money than you would guess. They work long hours, holidays, nights, and weekends. They are often split apart from their families and miss recitals and baseball games: all so you can be smarter than your friends.

Oh and also, so they can make the world a better place.

The Wells Fargo Scandal, where it was discovered that the giant bank committed enormous fraud didn’t just appear out of nowhere. Journalism exposed it.

So when Donald Trump supporters suggest stringing up journalists for doing the unthinkable – writing down the things their candidate says into a microphone – think about the other nations who ban, kill, and imprison reporters.

Those are the least-American places in the world… probably because there are fewer journalists around there to shine a light on it.

If you know a journalist or run into one, hug them.

They probably could use it.

do you know you belong here

can you see that everything has been laid out

there are pop machines and drive throughs

hospitals and rainbows

all here for one reason and one reason only

so that you me and the lilies of the fields

can do our thing.

theres no reason to stress.

if it all comes falling down, then let it.

if the seas part and the monster rises then scream out:

here i am, here i am.

and hope it knows English.

because being scared is something my girl cat does because she doesn’t watch enough tv or read any books.

shes adorable and soft but no one is wishing to switch places with her any time soon.

the only one who loves her more than me is the boy cat who is brave and adventurous

and thinks hes a dog.

i even call him that now as he follows me around, first in the hall, then when he jumps in the tub

and then leaps on the kitchen sink so he can look me in the eye as i sit on the toilet.

he tries so hard to read my mind but the only thing in there is

the echoes of led zep and fantasies of whats it like in heaven

which yesterday i learned isn’t capitalized.

everyone won today, everyone lost

so much happened today i dont even know where to start.

did the american people win? pretty much. those who wanted backwards racists and crooks on their way to jail voted for them, and that’s their right.

those of us who wanted clear thinking leaders and visionaries reluctantly voted for diane feinstein

all i know is auntie maxine is going to show donald trump the back of her hand in so many delicious ways and i know they wanna put diane back in as speaker i think they should give it to maxine because she has been the one saying early and often that she cannot wait to impeach this son of a gun, so let her.

all while giving love to the first black female speaker of the house

i spent a few hours today meeting my new doctor. i had to switch docs once i switched my health plan. so they gave me the whole physical and even stuck a thing up my, and i was all, when did this procedure begin and they said about a year ago.

and i was like, well since we now know each other… she and the young doctor who was shadowing her marveled at how young i appeared and i pointed to the nearby burger king and i said, fast food 4x a week, mixed with loud music, and a sweet gf who’s down for whatever and you too will sustain this glow.

how much do you exercise?

never.

never?

never.

how often are you in front of a computer?

12 hours a day.

do you wear glasses?

no.

can you read minds?

since 1992.

we shook hands and agreed to shave the mole from my head because it was probably an xbi transmitter

a procedure that is scheduled for next week. so if i disappear, you know who to blame.

last month on twitter matt welch asked about this sb little league picture

and i couldn’t find it anywhere, and lo, i just ran across it on facebook

we were probably the coolest little league managers of all time

but that doesn’t always translate to the wins column

however, one thing about being 9 and 10 years old, which these boys learned

probably not from us

is winning and losing is all relative

the fact that they were able to turn double plays

and not piss their pants at the plate

when, let’s say, that was not in their skill set before we all met and became the Santa Barbara Royals

is all the winning one needs.

theres two ways to write

the first is you can pretend that the whole world is going to pay attention to what you are saying

and they will change their minds when they read your incredible insights

and rainbows will appear and bunnies and butterflies and fireworks and the cubs will win the world series

that is not how i write.

the other way is to pretend that nobody will ever read it and there is no audience and it’s just you

and the Good Lord above and all of the angels and saints

and they’re probably too busy to look closely, they are just happy youre not out in the streets.

occasionally someone reads it and i am genuinely surprised because i have tricked myself into believing that not even the sweet angels who root me on will read it

and sometimes someone will ask me, why are you being so mean with your writing

and i will literally have to read it again because when i write i just let it out and commit zero of it to memory.

but then i will reread the masterpiece in question and i will usually surmise “you call that mean?”

heres what i think mean is. i think its mean to bore your readers.

i had a teacher in college once, and he was legendary in our school, which doesnt mean he liked me, im pretty sure he thought i was overrated and to be honest i dont remember ever writing anything great in his classes

but i did like one thing he said. he said the worst thing you can do to your readers is waste their time.

do not bore them.

thus, if i criticize a writer for doing the worst thing a scribe can do, that is not mean.

whats mean is not passing along the sentiment and working with that writer, despite how veteran he may be

despite how many stupid awards he has “won” and despite what emails come in or dont come in.

whats mean is letting someone who you know or work with or are close to slide into mediocrity.

we are all in this together.

some of us more than others.

dig deep and get it together.

when you let people coast, you are selling them out

the job of a coach, a manager, a boss, a friend

is to push.

there are mean ways and nice ways to push.

not everyone responds with negative reinforcement, some people will bloom when they’re told how great they are because some people have never been told how great they are.

or they just need it so badly. you can be that sunlight.

other people have been stroked for so long that they might not know how dull their edge is. those people need prodding, sometimes even shoving.

the great jockey Willie Shoemaker used to talk about “showing the whip”. his theory was any jockey can whip the crap out of a horse on the home stretch, but a wise jockey knows that the whip will only work a few times and then the horse either wont respond or it will slow down as a fuck you.

so what Willie would do is he would show the whip by moving his whip hand really close to the horse’s eye and then giving him a quick snap where he can feel it. then through out the race, any time he wants a little more from the steed he will simply

show the whip and see what happens.

if the horse speeds up, perfect. thats what he wanted. that was the message and the message was received.

when the home stretch happens, old Willie would show the whip and if the horse ignored it he would show again and smack him to remind him what the whip was all about. sometimes he would do it on the other side of the horse after showing it on that eye.

willie won a lot of horse races.

my favorite manager of all time was Billy Martin. he was all whip. he burned out pitching staffs, he burned bridges, he got fired 4 times from the same boss, but he won and won and won

with style. and excitement.

some people forget that part of some jobs is to provide a bit of a show.

ask hunter s thompson. writers have a great opportunity to also be showmen.

anyways because Billy didn’t understand the nuance of showing the whip, his effectiveness was only about 2-3 years and the players would realize oh this guy really isnt gonna punch me in the face, so fuck him, i wanna be traded anyways.

my problem with many so called leaders is they’re just there for the ride. they don’t want to even show the whip. they wanna hang on for dear life and coast.

the horse is not going to win if you just let it coast. which means you’re not going to win and the audience is ripped off from the show they paid good money for.

the coach, the manager, and in some rare instances, the fans, are there to motivate the star to shine its brightest

and often that comes from explosive friction.

if you can’t handle the heat, get used to mediocrity.

the whisper in the darkness

he’ll go right in your ear and say you aint shit, you cant do that, you faked it before, sure as hell cant even fake it now

and if anyone else in the world whispered that nonsense to you you’d say fool get out my way

but as sonic youth and lydia lunch whisper

youre right

youre right

you are right

which is what you should say to the devil when he’s got your ear

and the bat’s got yr tongue.

(so when you say it say it like you mean it

say it like) it’s the first time youve heard it

not the millionth – that day

deep in the gully

down on the yonder

i wanna i wanna i wanna i wanna

last night was the first night i didnt drive uber on halloween

im immersed in the secret project and i have no desire to do anything else.

i want this to be great. it reminds me of the three other times i was totally into something:

when i was in high school in the marching band and we won State

when i was in college and we won all the newspaper awards.

and when i ran LAist.

the only difference on this one is im pretty much alone.

i love teams, especially fantastic teams. i miss having a team.

but every video game is different. on this one you’re mostly alone.

so be it.