Monthly Archives: November 2022

being an asshole is easy

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we shouldnt do the easy things. i mean you can if you want.

but the people i love are the people who are playing the advanced version

honors, AP,

some do it in an annoying way and im sure i annoy some and im not saying i am at 100% 100% of the time, but im happier when i am.

some also incorporate diet and exercise and reading and raising kids

and clearly im not playing that version of this.

im just trying to be good.

being bad would be so easy.

like i could make a rival to Disneyland if I wanted. anyone could.

Evil Land

where everyones mean to you and if you complain the fire hydrant says shut the fuck up and squirts you a little.

and the mascots chase you around

and the food is suspiciously delicious.

reasonably priced too

which is also weird.

for example beers are only $2 a cup.

“we’re Evil but we’re not Assholes” our tshirt would read

and on the back “beers two bucks.”

if you get enough people into a place you dont have to charge crazy prices for beer. make the food really good and get em there.

like what if the best sushi in all of LA was at Evil Land

but it’ll cost you.

at the restaurants there you can get one of two colored bibs: red or black.

if you wear a red bib everyones mean to you. if you wear a black one everyone kisses your fucking ass basically.

red bibs are $5, black ones are $10.

when you leave you get your picture taken next to a sign that displays what percentage tip you gave.

amazing bands at Evil Land,

but there are no good seats

more book ideas

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i sorta wanna make it an e-book.

shouldnt we be saving the planet?

why am i making a thing that needs paper and ink and a truck to ship it places

and then me to ship it places.

is an e-book “as cool” as a real book? no. of course not.

i need to talk with coulter about this.

real books are way cooler because of narcissistic reasons: it’s killer to see your name on a book shelf, tangible things are something someone could pass to someone, or people could find it decades later.

but i do so few good things for the planet, if this is just one nice thing i could do, i should probably do it.

fine.

any way i think i wanna call it

be right out

i did a lot today

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transcribed the first 1/3 of wednesdays podcast, which i rarely do this early in the week

did most of the dishes

did laundry, watched most of church will watch the rest now

and i called out the head of the la times bc his staff weirdly missed the lede of this story

that purports the way to get from woodland hills to eagle rock is the 110

when it’s actually the 101 to the 134.

i told him the reason Hear in LA is so vital is because

even the very smart people at the award winning paper

couldnt possibly know all the inner workings of the neighborhoods

which is where my podcast comes in.

he probably wont take it the right way but sometimes you gotta shoot yr shot

ok now back to church

ive decided i will write a book about driving around LA

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probably shouldnt call it an uber book bc who knows if they’re take me off the platform for writing about it, even though as an independent contractor, they should have no rights to do anything towards me as long as i don’t reveal anyone’s personal info and name

but still. i should include other trips ive done that werent on the platform. i have a few stories. including one where amber called me from her hotel and said a guest had accidentally left luggage behind, and could i drive to vegas right then for $400.

i said yes and half way through the journey i wondered, what if im smuggling hundreds of pounds of coke or something.

anyways the only thing that keeps me motivated about this book is the overwhelmingly positive reaction i get on FB any time i post stories, and the nice feeling i get thinking that this is just the style of bukowski talking about any of his jobs.

just matter of fact, but btw look how insane all of this is.

it flows very easily. it’s nice.

i want to do 64 stories in the book,

because thats how much drivers get per mile.

sixty four measly cents.

uber gets the rest.

do i really have a blog?

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theres been a lot of things happening with this thing, which is why i havent written here.

but i guess it works now. this is the longest ive gone without blogging regularily

and one of my rules is dont blog about not blogging and dont apologize for it

just get on with it, so fine.

today im thankful bc its thanksgiving, but im always thankful

im thankful that i can just say ECHO PLAY LED ZEPPELIN EVERYWHERE

and zeppelin music comes out from all of the speakers in my humble abode

im going to a thanksgiving dinner held by a friend ive known over 30 years.

such a talented dude who has lived his life the way he would have wanted to since he was a lad

and i guess in a weird way im sorta doing that right now myself, maybe for the first time in a long time

my cars in the shop so i gotta chill for a few days

which might be just what the doctor ordered

Some are worried about a Civil War

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What these geniuses should be worried about is abolishing Social Security and Medicare right as Gen X – who have been screwed decade after decade – is starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
We drank out of water hoses, walked home from school alone, never wore seat belts or had air bags, knocked on the doors of strangers for a variety of reasons from fundraising to collecting newspaper debts, were the first generation worse off than our parents. Survived AIDS, two Bushes and COVID.
If there is one generation you do not want to mess with, because it knows how to get back at you in creative and ruthless ways, it is the generation who intentionally drank Coke right after downing Pop Rocks.
I pity the fool who wants to poke the Slackers to see what we are made of. We are made of coat hanger antennas, heavy metal parking lots, and unyielding vengeance.

yes its been about a month since ive last posted

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the site was broke. it took poor mark a while to figure it out but thankfully he identified it.

we had some cooperation with Canada and bing bang boom we are back on the air.

hi.

my name is tony. i am a podcaster.

i support the podcast by driving Uber.

over the last month or so i have been driving full time. it’s been pretty fascinating bc i wake up as early as i can in the morning and do as many rides as i can before rush hour.

once traffic gets bad i try to hide out in neighborhoods where i wont have to go to busy intersections or get on freeways.

once everyones at work i try to find places where people are bopping around doing errands or buying diamonds or something.

ive been getting a lot of students (as young as 12!), teachers assistants, nurses aides, and of course tourists. i try not to drive in the dark but now that daylight savings time is over thats gonna be harder to do.

i dont like the dark because its hard to see addresses on buildings and i worry about accidents and weird things. the other night i was working on finishing up a bonus and there i was in the nighttime in Hollywood and i was all, i need to get home. i got home. got the bonus. alls well, but i may have to start waking up even earlier, like 4am, so i can be done by 2 or 3.

the problem is 3pm-5pm is a great time to drive because none of the part time drivers are on the road then. they’re all at their real job, so surge prices kick in and i have my pick of whatever trips i want. but i also dont wanna be driving for 10-12 hours because its not good for my hands, arms, and back, all of which have been cooperating bc God is good and loves me.

 

today i have two interviews for Hear In LA. When im done i need to get the blog post started for Wednesday’s episode which is a wonderful woman who is about to come out with a book on Cults.

Monday and Tuesdays are my days off from driving but i need to do podcast things on those days. so i really dont have any days off. which is fine bc LA Taco is stealing, LAist is sorta stealing, and who knows who else will crawl out from under a rock to see if they can challenge what Jordan and I are doing.

But here’s the thing: they cannot really compete, even though they have way more money and people. They can’t compete bc its a job for them. something they do for money. im doing this out of love. Also i created this whole thing and they know they’re copycats.

John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band may have had a hit ripping off Springsteen but it was just ONE hit and Bruce went on to make many many more.

don’t be a Beaver Brown Band. life is too short. be original. do what you truly love. and no one can touch you.